I always thought that when it was over I wouldn't think about it anymore. That I wouldn't think about them anymore. Them, the person, the one who I hate. But no, I think about it all the time. I think about them all the time. I think of ways to make them hurt without actually hurting them. I want them to cry and be hurt. I want them to feel pain, but I know that they could never experience as much pain as they put me through and yet I want them to feel more. I know that I can't get revenge and that I don't have much time, but I want them to hurt. It makes me feel like a horrible person and I want them to hate themself as much as I hate myself, because that was something they did to me. They made me hate myself and I don't like living with myself anymore, but I will go when it's my time and I won't make it any sooner than it needs to be.