I did it... I ran away!

...Wait a second, let me backtrack a bit.

My name is Saf and I hated my home. It wasn’t like there was any fighting, but there just wasn’t… anything. No fighting, no “How’s your day,” no “I love you,” no anything. Every day, it seemed as if we were just strangers living in the same house for no reason but to just have somewhere to live. It just became so unbearable that I broke down when my mom didn’t even care that I had a bloody knee from falling off my skateboard. I could probably die and they wouldn’t even bat an eye. So, I ran away to get away from all of that. It was terrible for my mental state and even more for my emotional state. There was no way that I’d stay long enough to become like THEM.

So now I’m somewhere in the woods. I was planning on just going straight through so nobody would be able to see me leave, but I must’ve taken some kind of turn because I was completely lost. Nothing about the area around me was familiar.

After walking for nearly two hours, I was nearly ready to give up. Then, I suddenly step into a field. It was so dark that I started to walk to the only source of light in front of me, desperate for some light. When I got there though, the sight became something I could never forget.

The light was in a small dip in the field. It was so beautiful that I could barely take my eyes off of it. It seemed to be in the middle of a small body of water, but the light was so bright that I couldn’t tell.

The light seemed like a purple fire, fueled with life. It was as if the flames themselves were alive. Inside the flames were these illuminated, white butterflies that seemed to strive in the flames. The butterflies and flames coupled with the night was such an amazing sight that I started to walk towards it.

Once I was close enough to the flames, I reached out my hand to feel the warmth I hoped it would have. It was the warmth I wish I always had but never got. It was the warmth that I was yearning for from people that are supposed to be my parents. It was the warmth I was always looking for.

I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay here with the light that I never had in my life. And yet, as I thought this, I suddenly started crying. I’m not sure why myself. Maybe it was because I found what I was searching for ever since I was born. Maybe it was because I actually could feel some kind of warmth. Or maybe it was because I knew that if I stayed here, in this warmth not meant for me, that I would be the most alone I’ve ever been. I would leave all that I’ve know I would leave all of my friends, and I would leave everything I’ve ever loved. This should’ve been what I wanted, right? This is why I ran, isn’t it? I just wanted to be loved, didn’t I?

So why would I want to return to someplace that I would never feel loved, a place that I would never feel this warmth again? In the presence of this warmth, all I wanted to do was go back home.

Right when I thought this, a section of the flame and a single butterfly went straight towards me. During when I was crying, I started to back away from the flame, so the two forces had a bit to go to reach me, and the flame looked like it was going to reach me first. I thought the flame was going to hit me, but instead, it just started to hover near my head. Touching it, I noticed that I could hold it and, once noticing that the butterfly wasn’t stopping like the flame, I held it close just as the butterfly landed on my forehead.

Suddenly, I felt so weak and my legs turned to jelly as I fell to the ground on my knees. Before hitting the ground, I was still able to make sure that I wouldn't hit it directly, but I wouldn’t have felt anything anyways. I could feel nothing except for the butterfly still on my head and the flame still clenched in both of my hands. The fatigue was so strong that I couldn’t stay awake anymore and, succumbing to the butterfly, I fell into a deep sleep with a new warmth in my chest

~・~

Waking up, I notice the familiar quietness around me. Slowly getting up, I look around and I’m surprised to see the neighborhood I tried so hard to leave. Confused, I check my pockets to see if I lost anything and before I check, I notice the purple flame still clutched in my hands. There was nothing else in my pockets, so I can’t fully assume that someone carried me here. Since I still have the flame though, I’m convinced that I’m here because of that butterfly.

Knowing that I won’t learn anything out on the streets, I start to walk to my house and I open the door to see, surprisingly, my mother’s crying face.

“Where have you been Saf!?” she exclaims, worry clouding her face. Even when she was happy in the past, I’ve never seen so much emotion from her.

“I’m okay, Mom,” I replied, confused about her reaction. I know that it’s around 1 in the morning, but I never thought in a million years that she’d ever cry for me. Although I do recognize that she’s crying for me right now, I still haven’t forgotten that this is the first time she’s shown any type of concern for me ever since I could remember. This doesn’t change much except for that fact that now I know that she actually CAN show emotions.

After making me promise that I’d never be out this late again, I head to my room and close the door so I can have some privacy. Strangely enough, my mom never reacted to the flame. Even with its bright light shining between my fingers, she never even looked at it. She did ask why I was clenching my hand, but that was it really.

Letting the flame go, I was happy to see it flying around my body in a joyful motion. As if alive, the flame waited patiently as I cleaned up my room a bit and fixed my bed so I could sleep. Once I laid down and got comfortable, the flame slowly floated towards my face and then just hovered still, as if asking if it could lay with me. Happily, I moved over so the flame can have its own small spot on the front of my bed. Calm from its warmth, I quickly fall asleep and dream of what I saw in the woods.

Throughout the next day, it actually felt quite pleasant. Usually, I would hate going to school. I always felt as if nobody would really care about whatever I do. This day though, the warmth of my loyal flame warmed me throughout the entire day and everything felt really nice. Even boring schoolwork felt just a bit more bearable.

This day with the baby flame taught me so much. It taught me that there’s always some kind of warmth and joy in everything. Even if I needed a baby flame to realize this, I’m pretty happy all the same. I’m not sure if the flame will stay with me forever, but after having it for around a month, I actually wouldn’t have been depressed. Yes, I would be sad to lose my friend, but the memory of its warmth would stick with me forever.

Ever since I saw the beauty of the large purple flame and its illuminated, white butterflies, I haven’t wanted to run away again. The flame showed me that warmth still exists in my life, even if it never seemed that it was there in the first place.

For once, I’ve never been happier in my life.