I interrupted myself again. Well, it’s Friday now and Seniors old and new are singing while Jessie looks over my shoulder as I write. Jessie: I write when I’m bored, OK? It’s NOT a diary. In case you were wondering, you know how it is. Well, since I’m still too lazy to go back and finish what I was saying, I was working on AP French work that I totally forgot about all summer. I suppose thinking about Super Smash Bros. 4 all summer. By the time you read this, there may be, like, five. Bruce, if that is so, DON’T take it for granted, you lucky bastard. And if you don’t know what Super Smash Bros. is, then I suggest you Google it or something. And if Google is outdated, then God help us all. And if religions have gotten super strict for the use of the word “God”, then for the love of God scratch out every time I’ve written the word “God” and replace it with “Reggie.” It’ll save me the time, money, and prison time. Speaking of the future, how are thing’s there? Are there flying cars like in Back to the Future 2? Don’t answer. I SAID DON’T ANSWER. Imma believe there are cuz that’s pretty freak’n cool. Also I won’t shorten words like that again. If I do, find me and kick me. Softly. And contractions don’t count. Good? Damn right we’re good.

Did I mention my Russian Desert Tortoise, Reggie? Well, just want to make sure because, you know, still too lazy to look back. None of this has changed, Bruce. Come on man, you’re better than this! Oh, and by the way, I skipped from Chapter 12 to 14 on purpose. Don’t hate, this is MY DAMN BOOK. You don’t like it, leave. Wait, come back! Ok, let me rephrase that:

If you don’t like it, DEAL WITH IT.

[Here, I drew a sketch of a guy with shades smirking and folding his arms]*