:::Third person:::

Morning comes unexpectedly, awakens Cadence from his sweet slumber. He then tries to lift his torso upright with his trembling arms, pushing against the sheet's soft fabric, his lower half screams in pain, startling him, ceasing all of his muscles. Cadence frowns in agony, groaning and moaning as he slowly manages to sit up.

“Shane...” his mind now conscious itself, the fading warmth has him remembering what happened last night. His trembling dry lips call out for him, yet there was nothing but pure silence, engulfing the now achromatic room. Slowly he can feel pain, whom claws unto his flesh tightly, fading away, yet a strangling sensation takes hold instead, gripping and tearing every defense and confidence he builds up. Following the succumbing loneliness, small whimpers escape his lips, each little by little, tears roll down his tainted cheeks...lonely...the word wanders in mind...he's so lonely...Where is Shane? Where could he be at this time? Why isn't he here? Why isn't his warmth here? Lowering his spine and embracing himself, his cold body immerse itself underneath the glazing sun, blocks half-heartedly by the thin, fluttering drapes. As if sheltering himself from the mocking realization of abandonment, yet all becomes hopeless.

Nonetheless, despite this uncomfortable feeling, Cadence stands up and fetches his wrinkle shirt lying on the bed and puts it on, the aching hip is still there though, accompanying in every step and every bend that he takes, but still as long as his mind is dip in the drench wretchedness, his body is render numb. Cadence walks zombie-like across the room, bending down onto the hard, wooden floor for his boxer, a weird sensation of fluid spurting from his inner groin stops him, he immediately straighten his spine and that backfired, the pain grows even more. “No way!..” He thinks to himself...last night...it was hard to tell whether or not Shane was wearing condoms(he didn't obviously).....probably not...Since Cadence is a man, so the fact of wearing condoms doesn't make much sense to Shane in the first place, he always had that confused face whenever they had sex. Cadence looks around, in search of a tissue, as he spot it lying next to where he was standing, he nearly trip while trying to grab a bunch. He then starts to carve out the sticky semen out of his thigh, it was dripping down. The feeling isn't necessarily pleasurable either, it's weird, it's just plain weird and uncomfortable.

Few minutes pass, after all that pain and awkward position, yet the sticky feeling persists, Cadence growls in annoyance.

“God damnit, I'll just take a bath then.”

And he walks straight towards the bathroom, clenching his teeth along the way. Inside the steaming pool of water, he lets the hot water drips down his frail body, numb of all sensations and his mind, eludes itself to nothingness. After a while, he finally step out of the bath. Letting his towels absorb from his skin for a few minutes and put on his clothes. Slowly carrying himself into the kitchen afterwards, with his hands on his hip, walking like cripple.

"Let's see."

Moving his eyes back and forth at the fridge, finding something pleasant to sooth his stomach, and he glances up to the cupboard, the ever big logo of 'PanCakes' hits him but then he finds his throat dry, and his appetite gone. Diverting his eyes, there are nothing in this household that's appetizing anymore, nothing is left, there isn't anything now isn't it....a sharp pain, saliva down his throat feel like water through the Sahara desert, so dry, it's hard to swallow. Cadence slowly moves to his chair and settle himself down, his eyes fixed onto an empty space once again,  Cadence drifts into a different world, where nothingness reigns above all. As if he doesn't exist, and nothing does, a white space, no, more like it doesn't have any color, as if he was dead and God had taken over his soul. It's....nothing...simply nothing.....it's kinda hard to explain.....your consciousness's gone.

But yet his faintly sweet voice, from afar, echoes in his imagination, it was Shane's, his low grunt, his strong grip and hot breathe, Cadence was hit back with harsh reality. A heart exhausts of nothingness now squeezes in agony, in utter dismiss of whatever is positive, now all that's left for his is torment...a swelling of spasms that mold his flesh into this disorderly shape, disconnecting him from any defense whatsoever. Why? Why does he feel so much anguish for a mere human being? Hadn't he not prepared for this? Maybe he didn't think this through. In awe of arrogance and oblivion, he failed to recognize the elephant in the room.

"Shane, I need you...." Utters from his cracked lips, he can barely make sense of it anymore, his overwhelming emotions and what he was trying to say. All these years, all these years of putting up yet he had never realize it was so fragile, he thought he was strong, he thought he could fight through this, but all was just arrogance? All was just a fantasy he put up to cope with this harsh reality? Then what is true anymore...?

Cadence curls up his body in his chair, like a fetus, the table creeks as he pushes it aside and embrace himself, reserving any strength left.

😢😢😢😢😢

After a while, Cadence opens his eyes, having to find himself fell asleep, he stood up to check the clock, 7:30. The small numbers vibrate in his visions...."work"....mumbling as his mind tries to comprehend what it should do next, Cadence then walks to the bathroom again, turn on the shower and stand, hot water coats his skin in burning temperature, his thinning body nearly drops, his consciousness hazes of any stimuli, even the steam that was blocking his nose. But then suddenly, an alarming sound pierces through his ears, waken him from his haze. Cadence remembers he's supposed to go to work at 7:30, he steps out, water lies on the floor where he passes through. His flesh then soak in the relief of his towel, they then shock by the cold as he puts on his t-shirt, the fabric strokes the lining of his skin, bringing a sense of comfort along with it. After dressing himself up, Cadence then opens his drawer, taking out some pills and digest them whole with a cup of hot water. Walking up to the mirror, he slaps himself in the face hard.

"You can go through this!"

"Everything's going to be fine!" His voice firms in confidence, but deep inside, everything's falling. Nonetheless, he chooses to ignore it, opening the door and step out to the glazing sun. So fresh, the air that is, embracing his face in all of its glory, brushing through his hair. It was then, Cadence was ready to walk.