I looked up to him smiling but that soon got cut off as a yawn escaped me I heard a chuckle and glared daggers up at Xavier "Tired?" he asked a sudden softness in his voice that made me melt inside "Can you tell genius?" I replied sarcastically "Okay kitten, lets go get you in bed" He scoffed slight irritation in his voice"Yada Yada!" I mumbled as he started towards the door.
Later that night I awoke from twisting and turning in my sleep I got out of my mates grasp and walked into the wash room 'My duty must be done' I uttered internally, After peeing I sighed standing in front of the mirror as words of the hatred ran through my mind as I remembered the alpha's cruel words 'Faggot, Bitch, Dumbass, Slut, Whore' He is gone now.. He is never coming back I wish I could believe that sentence more than the words he's called me.
I looked at the mirror and sighed as I started singing 'If you want love' By: NF
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOXTeBDLEpc
I just need some time I'm trying to think straight
I just need a moment in my own space
Ask me how I'm doin', I'll say "okay, " yeah
But ain't that what we all say?
Sometimes I think back to the old days
In the pointless conversations with the old me
Yeah, back when my momma used to hold me
I wish somebody woulda told me
Before I knew it tears were rolling down my cheeks and I heard something from the other side of the door
If you want love, you gon' have to go through the pain
If you want love, you gon' have to learn how to change
If you want trust, you gon' have to give some away
If you want love, if you want love
Yeah, as a kid I used to think life
Is moving so slow, I watch it go by
Look out the window on my bus ride
I thought the world was so small, through my closed eyes
I heard a knock "Babygirl? You okay sweetheart?"
I've always tried to control things
In the end that's what controls me
Maybe that's why I'm controllin'
I wish somebody woulda told me
If you want love, you gon' have to go through the pain
If you want love, you gon' have to learn how to change
If you want trust, you gon' have to give some away
If you want love, if you want love
The older I get, I feel like I'm always tryna save time
Talkin' to the voices in my head, they make me think twice
Tellin' me it doesn't mean it's wrong because it feels right
I started bawling as I heard another knock "Can you open the door?"
I'm scared that one day I wake up and wonder where the time go
Talk about the past like it's the present while I rock slow
I'll sit in the living room and laugh with kids of my own
And tell 'em
"Amore, Open this damn door" Xavier growled from the other side
If you want love, you gon' have to go through the pain
I wish you woulda told me
If you want love, you gon' have to learn how to change
I fell onto the floor crying just whispering the words "OPEN THE DOOR!!" Xavier growled and kicked the door breaking it a bit
I wish somebody woulda told me
If you want trust, you gon' have to give some away
You gon' have to give
If you want love, if you want love
If you want love, if you want love
I was weeping on the floor as I finished the song but that got interrupted as I heard a crunch from the door getting broken down and Xavier running over to me. "Baby, What's wrong Sweets?" He asked looking down to my ugly, stained face "X...Xavier, would you.. ever leave m-me?" I gave him a questioning glance but broke into sobs after "Babygirl.. Why would I?" He sighed walking out of the bathroom and laying me on the bed before getting in after and wrapping his arms around me. "I. Would. Never. Leave. You."
He whispered into my hair before I fell asleep.
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