The following is a transcript of the (not) real conversation between me and MIT.

Me: I think I'm going to apply to MIT! I know it's a long shot, but I at least want to try.

MIT: Sure! Do your best, we hope you get in!

Me: *decides to do early action* *completes most of the application* *prepares for and takes extra standardized tests no other colleges need* *does interview requiring stressful human interaction and later interrogation about it by parents* *stays up late completing essays* *comes out to parents because of sexuality portion on application* *pays application fee (actually my parents did, I just feel like I did in spirit)* *hits send*

MIT: We received your application, and wish you the best of luck!

Me: Thanks, I hope I get in, or at least deferred to regular action!

MIT: (12/14/2017, 6:28 pm) Fuck you, idiot.

Me: ...Welp. All my hopes, dreams, money (in spirit), and time just went down the drain. At least I was accepted to MSU. Still waiting on U of M's and Purdue's rejections, though. Gonna need a couple more B&J Chocolate Therapy pints.