July 3rd, 2007 (Entry 2)

  Dear Diary,

   I asked my parents if they could allow me to go to Sara's house. I could never go to Justin's or Tyler's house. Well, to be honest, I have mention their names, but it does get a bit awkward. The reason for that is because when ever I mention a boy, like telling a funny story to them, they always think I have a crush on the male. They would always ask me to bring him over, even if I didn't know him. I always wanted to go and leave the table.

  Not to long ago, I told my Mom and Dad that I was Asexual/Biromatic. They laughed right in my face, telling me that was a hilarious joke. I got angry and told them I was serious. They were still crying of laughter a bit, then they noticed. I wasn't playing around. My mom got and looked at me. She got closer and closer. I knew something bad was going to happen. I can imagine her right in front of me, slapping me in the face. Telling me to get out of the house. That kind of makes me laugh a bit. Just thinking about my own parents disowning me.

   What happened? Well yes, she did slap me and yelled at me. My Father also yelled. Not to get out of the house, but to stop thinking that why and think about growing up to be a house wife with 7 children and a husband. A house wife, just like her. Some people do say "Like Mother, like daughter." to the two of us. I always disagree. By mom telling me to have 7 kids, even though I am the only child. Its not her fault, she had me when she was 38. My parents didn't want kids from the start of their relationship.

   Do I hate them, well it's kind of strange. I mean my love for my own parents that I have known for my whole life, has went really down hill. All I have in my heart for them, its small spot of love. The rest is hate, and I have my reasons. Its not only because of my sexuality, they beat me up too. They started doing it when I was 11, the beating was horrible. It broke my heart, seeing them do that to me. I remember all the blood. I made a "poem" thing about this in 8th grade.

                                                                  --------------------------------------

                                                                                 Red like Blood

                                                                             Purple like bruises         

                                                                                 Blue like tears        

                                                                             They did this to me

                                                                                 And its a CURSE 

                                                                ---------------------------------------

   I am getting way off track here. So, I started to walk to Sara's house. She opened up the door and says hello to me. I go inside and walk upstairs to her room. The door was slightly opened, and seeing Justin and Tyler.

  Enough with that, it's time to the serious topic. The rose. I told all three of them that I kept having dreams of a rose. I mean, every dream I have was different, but everywhere I (I guess my "dream body") go, there are roses with thorns everywhere. They asked if I had one of those today, I said no. I couldn't remember what I dreamed about. Justin told me that maybe it stopped once that I found the flower. Tyler told me maybe it was for luck. So this thing maybe Supernatural and luck? I don't know anymore.

  After all of that, I am back home, in my bed, writing this down. Maybe this is a good thing, let's hope.

(598 words) Thanks for reading!- Mel