Jayden’s pov

People say a lot can happen on a single day, you never know the future events in those twenty-four hours. Sometimes destiny has something awaiting for you, and some other times, it simple gives you nothing. These three weeks that has passed, nothing particularly interesting occurred. I wanted to go back to ‘’The Inferno’’ but I hold myself from doing so. I have already broken my promise, I don’t plan on do it again. Besides, fighting was not the only reason for me going there anymore. I felt so confuse, how is it possible that it’s been all this long and I was still thinking about this Montenegro guy. The guilt was eating me inside, my mind was telling me to push away the thoughts of him…. but I couldn’t. No, that’s not quite true, is was not that I couldn’t, it was that I didn’t want to and that was so messed up.

I felt disgusted at myself, not because of him but Rose. It felt like I was betraying her, like the only person that should have been on my mind was her……. But she wasn’t the only one. The fact that another human other than her for no particular reason was occupying my head…… it felt both confusing and aggravating. It didn’t make sense! I myself didn’t make any sense! Where was the logic in all of this!! That and so many other unanswered questions were floating around me.

The only thing that distracted me from all of that madness was hitting a punching bag for hours until it was nothing but dust. I’ve already destroy five in just three weeks, as crazy as that sounds. My dad was so worry about me, he didn’t know what to do anymore. He wanted me to go see a psychologist, he was desperate. I just laughed in his face, as if talking was going to change anything. Bullshit, it was all bullshit!

We fought several times, I told him to mind his own business, that he should have been grateful I wasn’t taking drugs or something of the sort. I wanted to be concentrated in me and my work. But the arguing continued until one day I got slapped by him. He apologized a second after he did it but I just stopped him right there. I told him that it was OK, I deserved that slap. I was being disrespectful with him, with the man that gave me and taught me everything I know. The man that raised me and my siblings all by himself, he was the brave one, not me. I was a coward running from problems. A coward that couldn’t take a step past the entrance of the cemetery because he was too afraid of saying a final goodbye to his late girlfriend. Yeah, that was me, a fucking coward.

I know my dad wants me to be happy for once. I said sorry a million times that night he slapped me. I hugged him and told him I was willing to change but I needed time. I needed his support. He of course told me to take all the time in the world as long as he could see me smile again, all the wait would be worth it. I just nodded at that comment and said that in the meantime I was just going to concentrate heavily in my job at Lolita’s. Taking orders and serving coffee somehow kept my mind busy and I needed that. At least that way my mind would be in the customers and not in my own issues.

Here I am now, just like any other night. I was cleaning the bar’s floor when one of my coworkers asked me if I could take care of the new clients that entered the restaurant, she had too many tables already. I obviously didn’t refuse and immediately took the little notebook I use to take orders and made my way to the table of our new customers. One of them, I already knew who it was, he has come in a few occasions. However, it was my first time attending him.

‘’Good evening gentleman, my name is Jayden, I will be serving you today. Would you like something to drink before you order? ‘’   I introduced my greeting.

The brunette guy speaks first, as I’m writing his order, I feel the boy in front of him looking very intensely at me. His gaze on me is getting heavy.What’s his problem? He’s so weird. I just didn’t put too much importance on that, I’ve seen weirdest customers than him in here. When I fully turned myself at him to take his order, his face had this surprised vibe in it.

But when I look deeper I almost drop my little notebook, I couldn’t talk, the air around me felt so cold. I didn’t even notice I was looking him with the same amaze he was looking me. His eyes………… those blue jewels that hypnotized me the very first time I saw them. ''They are beautiful'' I said to myself. It is possible? Could it be him? What am I even thinking……. If someone sees my thoughts right now would totally think I’m crazy but, I mean …. his eyes are so unique, so distinct. I don’t know how, but deep down my heart was screaming furiously ‘’is him, is him!’’ Why am I like this? Why am I not moving?

A distant voice started sounding and I’m glad it did because it makes me snap out of the frozen zone I was.

 ‘’Babe, are you going to order? He’s waiting for you’’   did he just called him babe. What the …. Are they boyfriends or something? Why is that bothering me. What’s wrong with me? This is not me at all!!!

After the boy that was making me feel all these kinds of emotions told me he wanted a bacon cheese burger and chocolate shake, I could barely write that down. My hand was shaking and couldn’t help it…… fuck!

I vowed my head to later made my way back to the kitchen to return with their drinks. Once I placed the order, I had to sit for a minute, I brought my hand to my chest. The beats of my heart were increasing rapidly and didn’t seem to slow down any time soon. What is this feeling?

‘’Jayden? Are you ok? You look pale”  my coworker Liza asked worriedly.

‘’No… Yes! I mean, yes…. I just… could you please take those drinks over there, to table nine? It will be just that, I’ll bring them the rest…. is just that I think I’m feeling sick, I need to go the bathroom.’’

 ‘’Yeah sure, go. I’ll take care of them until you feel better’’   she says while patting me in my back

 ‘’Thank you, I’ll be back’’

And with that, I run to the bathroom, I needed to watch my face, to refresh, this whole situation was too much and I don’t even know the guy for fuck’s sake. This is so frustrating.

Once on the sink, I was looking at myself in the mirror with a wet face when suddenly his reflection appears. Am I dreaming? Why am I seeing him?

 ‘’Relax, I’m real Jayden. It's me, Luciano aka ‘’The Montenegro’’. ‘’