I stared at her body for only a few seconds, a buzzing of sorts had filled my entire body, and my mind kept repeating, “Not again, not again!”

Not again what? Why was this scene so familiar and painful? I finally unfroze before racing towards her.

“Kit! KIT!” I shouted, I shook her body, clumsily searching for a pulse or a breath, some form of life.

Then, a tree nearby began to glow brightly, and slowly, it withered away. The once mighty pine was now a simple husk. Kits body began to glow the same chlorophyll green, before her chest heaved upward and her eyes snapped open, glowing bright for just a moment longer, before they too faded.

I leaned closer, “Uh, K-Kit?” I hesitantly asked, “Are you ok?”

She mumbled something. “I'm sorry,” I said, “I didn't quite catch that.”

“I said, back off, your breath smells…” She mumbled louder, her voice still weak and shaky.

I quickly pushed myself back as she pushed herself meekly into a sitting position. “Uh, Kit?”

She held up a hand, “Shh…” she squeezed her eyes shut, “Be quiet, I have a headache.”

I nodded, and sat silently as she gathered her bearings. Finally, she opened her eyes, and smiled, “You ok Ethan?” she rasped.

A hot wave of anger overcame me, was I Ok? Kit was the one who had, and fear quickly passed over me as I thought about it, died! I growled, “What. The. Hell. Were you thinking!” I screamed, “Why'd you come save me! Why'd you nearly kill yourself-you-I-YOU IDIOT!”

I knelt down again and grasped her face between my hands, without even thinking about it I said, “I can’t lose you, not again.” And I pulled her close to my body, tears prickling in my eyes.

Kit did not hug back, instead she pushed away and frowned at me, “What do you mean, again?” She stared into my eyes, so deep was her gaze it was as if she was reading my very soul. Soon, all I could see were swirling pools of light and grass.

“I...I don’t…” I stammered, unable to find my words. Again. The world began to swim, and Kit’s face became that of a mirage. Why did I say again? Why was she so familiar and yet...different? My head began to pound with the rhythm of the drums of war. Cries of battle rang in my ears, and flashes of light and pain and people I knew but had never met before filled my mind.

I clutched my head and squeezed my eyes shut. I could hear someone screaming, was it me? Someone else was calling my name, it was Kit, I knew it was, but a different name came to mind, a name I knew better, Kitannia.

Kitannia, Kitannia, Kitannia. Her name brought life and love to my dim world, and I smiled at the bright green eyes, filled with worry, as soft hands started shaking me. “Kitannia…” I mumbled. The eyes widened in shock, and the hands dropped me.

And all was lost.

I don’t remember much after that. Everything was a blur. I believe Kit formed a wooden house over us, and I think I remember her crying. I remember wishing she wouldn’t cry. Kit wasn’t allowed to cry. I yearned to see her smile, to be the cause of that smile. It hurt to see her cry, and it was pain beyond everything I knew to think that I was the cause of her tears. I remember trying to stop them.

“Kitannia…” I groaned, I tried to move to stop her tears, but nothing worked. Burning, burning, burning. As if fire raced up and down my arms. Maybe if I stopped the fire, I could stop her tears. Kit was the trees, the flowers, the forest. A bright wave of nature that created life. And I was fire, made to burn that life, made to destroy. Why oh why couldn’t I be the rain that helped her to flourish? That brought joy and love with it’s cold, wet arms; That wiped away tears as it poured down from the heavens?

Was I destined to harm all I touched?

Flashes of memories that did not belong to me ran across my mind. I knew that they were not mine because a lot of them involved kissing this beautiful girl, and I have never kissed anyone, let alone a beautiful girl. Her features were not clear, but to me, she was a siren, a muse, a heavenly angel. Her very voice charmed my heart out of its chest. She was sunshine and starlight, flowers and raindrops, and everywhere she went, joy followed.

But then something changed. That light gave way to a hellish darkness that consumed all in its path. It brought destruction and tragedy; Turning heavenly goodness into a form of damnation.

Suddenly, spring turned to winter, cold and dark, and my fire was good. For what better to destroy Hell than the very flames it birthed. It was irony, really.

A battle won, yet it felt like a loss. Winter was gone, but all that was left was a dismal grey. There was no more sun, the cold had snuffed it out.

The visions began to grow faster, speeding past me in a dizzying blur of colors, until I could make no sense of anything else.

Kitannia, Kitannia, Kitannia.

Then, bit by bit, the world slowed down and grew brighter, but still, everything was a blur.

A cool sensation ran down my throat, and I swallowed it graciously, until my taste buds returned of course. I found the healing touch of this potion to be bitter-sweet. I gagged, and the world came back into sharp focus.

“What the-” I wiped dribbled bits of the strange drink off my chin, “What happened?”

I saw Kit in the corner of the brown hut that now surrounded us. She turned and smiled at me, wiping away the last remnants of tears. Why had she cried?

“You’re awake.” She said, I could hear the false smile in her voice. She was trying to remain calm, but why, I did not know. “Do you remember anything?”

I thought so hard my eyes crossed. What did I remember? A name. A soft, beautiful name. “Who is Kitannia?” I asked.

Kit’s smile wavered, then stayed, “Kitannia? Man, those guys must’ve hit you harder than I thought. I don’t know any Kitannia.”

I frowned, “Who. Is. She.”

“Why do you want to know?”

I opened my mouth, then closed it, why did I want to know? The answer hit me. “Because I love her.” Of course! That’s who she was, the woman I loved. Why couldn't I have seen it before?

Kit’s smile vanished, and fresh tears arrived. Again with the crying? Why? “You...you love her? Do you even know who Kitannia is? Do you Ethan?” Now she sounded accusatory.

“Of course I do, she’s the woman I love.”

“But why do you love her!” Kit was yelling now, and the house began to bend and sway. “Do you know anything about her? What she looks like? What she enjoys? That springtime makes her smile, and that she cries when the stars die out?” She was panting, her face red. The house seemed to swell even larger.

“Kit…” I tried to warn her.

Tears now fell freely from her eyes, “Do you know that she only loved one man, who made a promise, to love and to remember and to keep her in his heart, no matter the cost, no matter the trials the Gods may throw, for nothing is more powerful than their love for another.” The house was glowing and humming now.

“Do you know that she lost the only man she ever loved, only to find that when she got him back again, he had forgotten her, that she had lost everything, everything, she cared about? That she wishes every damn day that she could die and end all this pain, but she knows that that wish will never come true!? That the world refuses to let her burn, and forces her to a living hell?!”

At that moment, the house had taken all it could bear, and with one final burst of light, it burst into a million flaming pieces that drifted to the ground like ashen tears.

Kit breathed heavily in the silence for a moment, “You don't know anything.” She growled. Kit wiped her eyes. “I just wish I was dead.” She whispered.

I swallowed hard and stood up. Cautiously, I walked over to Kit, and pulled her small figure into my arms. She let out a sob. I began running my fingers through her messy hair, careful to avoid the knots. “Kitannia is your real name, isn't it?” No response, but I knew I was right, “Kit?” I pulled her away, “Who are you? And most of all, who am I?”

Kit gave a shuddering breath. She gazed up at me, her eyes puffy and filled with pain, and said to me, “It's time for you to meet Lysander.”

I look back on that time with lenses slowly colored by the harsh reds of time and destructive blues of knowledge. My attempts to soothe her pain only caused greater harm to her already fragile spirit.

She was springtime, I was the summer that took her in my stride and burned everything away. She was a flower that turned to ash in my arms. I was a flame that longed to be rain. And no man can wish to be a different element.