The alarm goes off. You press the snooze button with great irritation. The alarm goes off again. You decide you have to get up.

What shirt do you want to wear?

  -White T-shirt 

  -Black T-shirt

  -Striped T-shirt

You check to see which outfit smells the least. 

All of them smell awful, but at least your choice was the most fashionable.

Which pair of pants do you want to wear?

  -Pants

You only have one pair of clean pants. 

Brush your teeth?

  -Yes...line 1

  -No...line 2

(This is a novel where you can choose some small details. If you choose yes then go to where it is labeled line 1 if you choose no and you are a disgusting person go to where it says line 2.)

Line 1: How fancy. 

Line 2: You are to cool to waste your time with such chivalry as brushing your teeth.

What to eat? You walk into your cramped apartment kitchen, to your relief your creepy roommate is gone somewhere. God, sometimes you swear that your roommate is part of some sort of cult.

 You open your fridge. 

It is empty. Open it again.

-Yes

You open it again in hopes of finding food. It is still empty. Maybe if you open it just one more time then there will be food in it.

Open it?

  -Open it...Line 1

 -Don't bother...Line 2

Line 1: Your fingers take hold of the fridge door and open it slowly. In the middle shelf there is a single salad. Your eyes stare at the salad sadly for a few moments and then place it on the table to eat. You stare at the salad for at least ten minutes making sure not to be within 5 inches of it as though the food is dangerous and may sting you if you were to poke it. Eventually you decide that you are not that hungry and put the salad back in the fridge.

Line 2: Nothing will happen if you open it, why bother. You will just have to starve and die. You are so hungry that you could actually eat a salad if you had one!

Now that you are all ready you might as well tell the curious people of the internet who you are.

Your name is Alex. You have bushy black hair and glasses that say the words "science nerd" which is stereotypical, but true as you are a programmer who loves Star Trek. Your short but you've got a little bit of muscle. Your eyes are dark and send a message that says, leave me to my programming. 

Wait, what gender are you?

You don't really care, you decide that the anime geeks of the interweb can decide.

  -Girl

  -Boy

  -Other

What is your sexuality? You can decide out of these three options.

  -Pan-Sexual

  -Sexual Pan

  -Pun-Sexual

Only one of those is an actual sexuality, so you might as well choose pan sexual. 

Some people don't know what that means. You give them a wise answer. "Google it!"

  -Google it...line 1

  -I know what it means...line 2

Line 1: 

Google Search- Pan Sexual Definition

Pan Sexual- No, this does not mean you are sexually attracted to pans. If you are sexually attracted to pans then please exit this page and go get some professional help. Pan sexual means you have a crush on boys, girls and people who don't identify with anything. It is like bi sexual except bi means 2 as in you like boys and girls pan sexual means you like anyone, even if they don't identify. The names are made like pan and bi so you can make puns out of them and annoy all your friends. Pan was originated.. 

You decide you've read enough to understand it fully.

Line 2: You watch some anime on your laptop since you know what it pan sexual means you deserve some anime.

Let's go to work now.

  -Go to work

  -Call in sick

End of Introduction

The next two episodes are going to be named eiather Go to Work or Call in Sick. You may have to wait a little while if you choose Call in Sick because I am making that episode after Go to Work.