The water cascades down my back as I stare at the tiles in front of me. It felt so good to have a proper shower since forever. But my mind was unable to focus properly. It felt almost like grasping for air.

I was told to clean myself up soon after Doc said that she wanted to contact someone. Then Fenir forces me down towards the showers and shut me in this bathroom. With the orders 'don't do anything funny. Go straight back to my cell, ah blah blah blah'. I think he's slowly starting to warm up to me. He's letting my bathe by myself.

It was only now that my curiosity finally kicked into gear. Who was she going to contact? Were they Suppressors? I mean I saw X with some before. But did that matter anymore? No, it didn't. I had to find them. I had to find Cody and Anne and take them somewhere safe. No matter what it takes. No matter what happens to me.

Where will it be safe?

That inward question stopped my thought process. Where was it 'safe' anymore?

I don't know. What if they're dead? A bloody image flashes in my vision-

I gasp, shaking my head to stop myself from going any deeper.

No. They're fine. I have to get them back. That's it. I'll sort out what happens after when I have them both back. Take a page from Cody's book for once and deal with it when it is the crisis not a possibility of one.

I reach for the touchpad on the wall to stop the water (it took me five minutes to figure out that everything is digitised) with this new conviction. But it's really hard to think that way...My thoughts almost immediately paints the worst possible scenarios. I sigh, looking for the towel while stepping out of the cubicle that was the shower. Finding it on the sink, next to my new clean clothes, I take it to dry my hair. As I pull it down, I came face to face with my reflection and stop.

Even through all the bruises and cuts, I could see my right side covered in black markings. Even the side of my face. I turn my head slightly while leaning in. It cut down my face, across my cheek and even down over my jaw. It travelled along my neck, shoulder and finally to that demonic arm below. I look down at my own hands, instead of my reflection's. The contrast of the flesh on my left and right arms was lost on me. My right arm...

Bile rose to my tongue. It was befitting, a demon's claw. I curl it into a fist. As it did, it convinced me more and more that it was real.

It killed someone. This...was the hand that killed the boy. Everything else paled to that vivid memory. That boy was a weapon. His body was stolen from him and used against his will and I killed him. Instead of finding some way to help him. Cody's words jarred my thoughts 'You're useless'. He was right. I have never been of any help to anyone. I had to rely on Cody, Anne and even Markus. I was never of any help. I was never strong enough to protect my family. At most I could only chase after them. And that wasn't good enough. Not now. Not ever.

I look back up at the me -the pathetic, useless me that stares back with dark brown eyes reflecting my inward emptiness. Bitter anger build up and I didn't stop myself from punching the mirror with as much force as I could muster. The fragmentation cracks across the surface in a spider's web. But I still saw the distorted reflection. I hated myself so much. I could feel the burning tears building up.

I bite my lip, suppressing the sob cracking in my throat. I can't do this now. I'm losing time feeling sorry for myself.

I quickly dry and dress myself while beating down my rage, trying to paint the mask of calmness back on my face before I go back out. I can't crumble now. I can't show it. I forcefully pull the hoodie's long sleeve to hide the right arm and the hood over my head.

As I open the door out to the hallway, I jump as a body was standing in front of me. Looking up, I see X staring directly at me. I couldn't say anything as words died before they could reach my throat. I couldn't stop myself from looking away from him. It was uncomfortable, stifling even. Feeling like we were in a standstill, I couldn't handle the silence much longer so I summon the courage to look up at him and say quietly, "Is something wrong?"

All he did was blink. I wonder if I could get around him, looking to see if there was any room and knew that I was stuck here. I look back up at him. He was silent, looking slightly to the side, as if he was hearing something else before his eyes dart back to me, a strange mix of emotion flicker through his eyes as they fall down to my side.

I was slightly confused as he reaches forward. I flinch back but he didn't hesitate to take my right hand and pull it forward between us. I notice the small drops of red staining my sleeve as he pulls on it, revealing the hateful hand. It took me a moment to see the cuts on the back of my hand, wet with dark red blood. I didn't even realise I had cut my hand or even felt the pain until it was in front of me. My knuckles were spilt and oozing blood. It stings like fire with an ebbed pulse. But the contact of his slender fingers burned so much more, numbing my brain.

I wasn't sure what he was going to do or say until I feel the sting of his thumb gliding over an open wound on the back of my hand. I pull back and he let me go as I cradle it to myself, "That hurts!" I protest at him.

And with his usual response, that being nothing, he stares at his hand that was now painted in the dark red of my blood before he reaches for me again. And for some reason, I let him. Not sure what he was doing, he brought my knuckles to his lips. I freeze in place as his soft wet warm tongue glides over my knuckle, burning me as he tastes the blood and I winced at the pressure and pain mixes. But those aren't the only things I'm feeling and it confused me even more. Liquid heat fizzed down my spine, leaving a tingling sensation right through to my toes. A soft intake of breath left me in my surprise.

Perplexed with myself and what he's doing, he on the other hand went from my next knuckle, lapping at it in just the same way. I-why aren't I stopping him? I continue to stare as he goes for the long cut that split the top of the back of my right hand. I could feel an electrical undercurrent but I was fighting myself from being submerged. I couldn't understand where this feeling was coming from and why it wouldn't stop. I was fighting myself from wanting to be consumed. What was this feeling? I wanted to let go. Mentally wrestling with my conflicting and confusing emotions, I could only continue to watch. It almost felt like I couldn't disturb him.

Hearing footsteps brought me back to reality. What is he doing? I pull away, stepping back and he let me go. -What was I doing!?

"There you are!" I recognise the girl's voice as she quickly approaches us. Her bright pale bottle-green eyes took us in rapidly. X, who looked like nothing happened and me; blushing from top to toe. "...Um...Hanna..."she seems a little nervous as she addresses me. Well I did flash her...it was a lasting first impression. It made my blushing turn a shade darker as I remember. "She says that Lady is getting kinda upset and that I should look for you."

"...Lady...?"

"Um you're tiger-friend."

Doc's gone and named the tiger.

I guess it suited her. I want to get away from the unsettling feeling I get whenever I'm near X while he looks calm like nothing ever happened. I was about to tell Mist that I'll go back-

"Mist! Don't get so close." The boy charges soon after her, pulling her back behind him as he glares at me like I was about to eat her, his arm outstretched in front of his twin protectively. "Get back to your cell. Now."

I blink at the harshness of his actions and words, it wasn't like my jaw was wide open ready to swallow her whole, here, "I'm not going to hurt anyone."

"How can I trust what you say?"

I guess he has a point. But the way he and Fenir glare at me still hurt.

It was amazing how the contrast of their same coloured eyes looked. Mist, who was a little mortified and nervous and Rain's were dripping in hostility and threat.

I couldn't stop the grim smile. "You're right. You don't need to trust me. I'm going back." I shift my eyes to Mist, "Thank you for telling me." I felt the sting. Not from Rain probably hating my guts but because they still had each other. That Rain could still protect his sister. That Mist still had her overprotective brother.

Going back to my little prison, I see Lady pacing it.

She stops and looks at me through the glass. I guess when I told her that I was coming back, I took too long by her standards as a mixture of bright colours of relief and impatience flood my mind.

Dreamer! She leaps onto the glass, her big paws and face pressing against it. I let a small sigh escape and smile a little. At least someone's happy to see me. I willingly go back into the prison with my big, bouncy cellmate and await my fate.