As I lay there trying to piece together the scene that was unfolding before me, the only thing I could think of was how odd it was that the person standing between me and that Hulk was Benjamin. I mean don’t get me wrong, he’s a great guy and all—we had an awkward coffee together couple weeks ago—okay, it was a date but it was completely underwhelming and totally a story for a different day. But I don’t think now is the appropriate time for him to play hero. I mean if he was there to call the cops or something that’d be great, but as it stood, he was target number one for the hulking monstrosity.
I wanted to yell out to Ben—to tell him to run; to get out of there and get help—but I couldn’t find my voice in time. The homeless guy—or beast—was already charging; those large, boulder-like fists raised and ready to strike as Benjamin just stood his ground. Then I saw something that made me just blink and stare in a stupor. In a blur of liquid motion, Benjamin managed to dodge the beast’s strike and coiled his own arm around his attacker’s arm halting his momentum.
Rotating his body to the right Benjamin pulled on the arm he had locked in his grasp. I heard two loud, juicy pops that sounded like cranberry sauce coming out of a can and a pained gasp come from the beast. Using the torque of his body, Benjamin swung his right foot back to catch the right foot of the Beast and slide it out to throw him off balance. With several deft movements, Benjamin changed his grip on the now limp arm he was holding, yanked and flung his own body forward to increase the momentum of the beast who could do nothing but allow himself to be flung into the air.
I could feel the impact radiating through the ground as that beast-of-a-man went flying into the wall of a building across the alley. Again with movements as graceful and savage as a feline pouncing on unsuspecting prey, Benjamin was on top of the Beast, his knee bearing down on its throat. I heard a fatal-sounding grunt, a cracking noise, and a final strained gasp escape the beast before he went limp and still. Slowly Benjamin got to his feet and started to walk towards the spot where I was still lying crumpled on the wet ground.
Everything was over so abruptly that I scarcely had time to get a handle on what was truly happening. The only thing I could do was try to focus on the things that were real–concrete. I could feel the wetness of the ground seeping through my clothing–the dirt, the water, and the piss all mingling together clinging to me. I was confused and disgusted–disgusted with what I just witnessed–and confused as to why I was still lying in a pissy alleyway.
All I could do was lay there, whimpering, thinking about how my day started. I honestly can say with all certainty that this was not how I saw my day ending, that is for sure. I racked my brain for some clue, some omen that by the end of the night I’d be lying face down in an alley, but there was none.
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