Woah that's actually really cool, at first, you might think the "i deserve this" that are constantly being repeated may be because of the hard work you did, and the person is expecting good things. But each "i deserve this" is for a different cause, some are encouraging, and some are sobering. (Pun intended *Ba dum tssss*)
Art is, at best, an imperfect science. Know what I mean?
Like Science, Art is concerned with thinking up new things, trying them out, and seeing how you did.
This last bit is very important, for the artist who does not measure results is an unrepentant idealist.
Consequently, the artist who plans out every last detail may not be an artist at all; they may be a designer!
Somewhere between these extremes is "the middle ground" - a space populated by shades of grey. Or is it gray? I forget...
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