A WORD FROM THE AUTHOR: This poem does not, in some ways, reflect the personal life of the author. Most of these events are inspired by imagination, and some by true events. You pick which ones are the false ones.
Thanks!
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when I was 4 years old
i learned to follow my mother
especially when she screams
and grabs
and shouts.
------
when I was 6 years old
I learned to stay quiet
when my mother is busy
because she hits me
when I'm noisy.
------
when I was 7 years old
I learned to play hide and seek
because
I don't want to get hurt
when she starts throwing things.
------
when I was 8 years old
I learned to study hard
because she hits me
every time
I get a lower grade
than what she wants.
------
when I was 9 years old
I learned to make friends
with no one
because
they all want to use me.
------
when I was 10 years old
I learned to keep secrets
especially
those things
she doesn't want me to show
to anyone else.
------
when I was 11 years old
I learned to take care
of everything
I held dear
because
she has a way
of finding things
I don't want her
to see.
------
when I was 12 years old
I learned
to play the guitar
so it won't be
as lonely
on empty nights.
------
when I was 13 years old
I learned to smile
even when
everything wasn't going very well.
i also learned to keep my hair short
so when she grabs me
it wouldn't hurt as much.
------
when I was 14
I met Eri
and she changed everything
for me
hopefully
for the better.
------
when I was 15
I learned to be happy
with simple things
because
most of the time
I don't have anything
except those
that mattered the most.
------
when I was 16
I learned to make stories
so Eri wouldn't be worried
why I come to school everyday
more hurt than the last.
------
when I was 17
I learned to balance my schedule
with all the parties
my mother
forces me to go to
and Emi
who still loves me
more than anyone else
my mother
introduces me to.
------
when I was 18
I learned to follow my dreams
which were cherry-picked
for me
by my
beloved
mother.
------
when I was 19
I learned to persevere
even in the face
of all the hardships
of doing everything
I never wanted
in the first place.
------
when I was 20
I learned to love
my mother
by giving her
half of my money
every payday
so she wouldn't
call me
names.
------
when I was 21
I learned to walk forward
without looking for
anything
in return
from anyone.
------
when I was 22
I learned
to accept everything
even
the most
heartbreaking
news
with a
smile.
eri...
------
when I was 23
I learned
to enjoy time
away
from anything.
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when I was 25
I learned to
cover up
my mistakes
so
no one
could find them
and blame me
for them.
if only i could
cover
myself
------
when I was 26
I learned to
believe hard truths
because
they were better
than lies
like love
------
when I was 27
I learned how
to take
life's
greatest
gift
back
to the
sender.
------
when I was 28
I learned
that I was
nothing but
a pawn
a machine
of money
for my mother
for everyone
i wanted
to love
------
and
finally
on my
deathbed
I learned
that I forgot
the most important
thing
to learn.
i'm sorry.
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