* * * * *

“So let me get this straight,” Julie said. She was sitting on the living room couch, wearing a pair of sunglasses despite the curtains being pulled shut against the morning. A greasy paper bag sat on the coffee table, now devoid of the french fries she had sent Evan out for. “You meet the guy of your dreams, the one who’s supposed to be totally out of your reach. You finally meet him, and he hits on you, and your response is to run away?”

Evan considered this. “Yup. That’s the gist of it.”

Julie nodded, then winced and rubbed her temples. “God, I wish I had done the same!”

Evan didn’t hide his puzzlement. “The guy you went home with was hot, right?”

“He was! But there are things I haven’t told you yet.”

“Like?”

“He has a fetish. A kink.”

Evan smiled. “Leather?”

“Worse.”

“Diapers? Did he call you mommy?”

Julie sighed. “No. He’s a furry.”

“Wait, you mean the guy had a hairy back or—”

“A furry. The people who like dressing up in animal costumes. Don’t laugh!”

“I can’t help it. So what was he? A skunk? A horse? Or maybe a little piggy?”

Julie threw a crumpled up napkin at him. “A panther, and it wasn’t so weird at the bar. I mean, it was Halloween, so I figured he just had a really amazing costume. He took the head off while we were drinking, so I knew he was handsome. I could tell he had a nice body too. But when we got home, the costume wasn’t coming off.”

“Then how did you…”

“A little flap in the front.”

Evan rolled over laughing and clutching at his stomach. “Oh my god. That’s too good!”

Julie shook her head. “You don’t know the half of it.”

“There’s more?”

“Well, he owns a lot of costumes, not all of them for men…”

Evan’s jaw dropped. “You dressed up too?”

Julie nodded.

Evan put on a sober expression. “Don’t make me guess.”

“I was a squirrel.”

He tried not to laugh again, he really did, but a snort escaped before he got himself under control. “A panther having sex with a squirrel. Is that even possible?”

“We managed,” Julie said. “And from what I remember, it was pretty damn hot.”

“Wow.”

“Yup.”

“Are you going to call him again?”

Julie peered at him from over her sunglasses. “Are you turning straight any time soon?”

“Nope.”

She sighed. “Yeah. I might call him. He was really nice, and if costumes don’t have to be involved every single time… I don’t know. Am I crazy?”

Evan shook his head. “We’re all freaks in our own way.”

“He has a really great sense of humor.”

“I imagine he’d have to,” Evan said, fighting down a grin. “Listen, finding a nice guy is even harder than finding a normal one. I say go for it.”

Julie nodded and stood. “I’m going to sleep this one off. What about you?”

“I’m up for the day. I’ll try not to be loud.”

This involved returning to his room, sitting in front of the computer, and putting on his headphones. The site he chose to browse was the most obvious. Meeting Tony only made his videos more appealing. As Evan watched them, he compared what he’d learned in real life to what he saw onscreen. Now he could imagine what Tony smelled like, or picture the parts of his body the camera didn’t capture. What he really wanted was to rewatch the video about commitment, but he was having trouble finding it.

Evan was clicking through menus, checking if he’d added the video to a playlist, when he noticed a message in his inbox. That was unusual. He literally gasped when he saw who it was from, making him very glad no witnesses were around. His hand was barely steady enough to double click the subject, which simply read Hey. The opening line began that way too:

Hey Boy Wonder,

I feel bad about last night. I’d had a few too many and feel like you might have gotten the wrong impression. I’d like to make it up to you. Lunch today at 1pm? Meet me at my place. The address is below.

xx,

Tony

Evan glanced at the clock. It was nearly noon now. Talk about short notice! Without thinking, he rattled off a simple reply that said he’d be there. Once in the shower, he grinned. Tony was tipsy or drunk last night. Who wasn’t a horndog after a few beers? Intoxication also made it easier to admit when you were attracted to someone. This changed everything. Tony was into him, and it was obvious his relationship with Orlando was on the rocks. Now they would have a much more civil lunch, where Tony would no doubt pour out his heart to Evan. After that, anything was possible!

* * * * *

The address scrawled on the piece of paper in his pocket made Evan feel special, like he had access to a celebrity. That’s what Tony was, really. Half a million people subscribed to his channel. Not everyone had an account to log in with, so no doubt others were tuning in too, or had at least seen some of Tony’s videos. His fan base must be huge. How many of those viewers wished they were in Evan’s shoes right now? If only they knew!

He didn’t know what to expect when driving into Kansas City: a sprawling rooftop condo, or maybe a million-dollar house. Evan was surprised then, when his journey ended in front of a rather drab apartment building. The architecture was decades older than anything in the suburbs, lending it a sort of charm, but somehow he had expected more.

Evan walked to the front door, which wouldn’t open for him. Then he noticed the metal placard to the left full of names and buttons. He was still searching for “Taylor” when the front door swung open, revealing a naked matador. That wasn’t quite right. Orlando was dressed, but the matador costume was gone. His blue eyes were just as striking without the mask, except now his eyebrows weren’t obscured, allowing a greater range of motion. Orlando didn’t use the brows to scowl, nor did he raise one in puzzlement. Instead they crinkled up in the middle like he was pained.

“Oh,” he said. “I should have known.”

“Tony invited me over for—” Evan began.

“I know exactly what you’re here for,” Orlando said, stepping aside and holding the door open for him.

“It’s not like that,” Evan protested.

“I honestly don’t care anymore. Are you coming in or not?”

Not knowing what else to do, Evan stepped inside. Orlando’s face grew tighter, his jaw clenching as his head gave a barely perceptible shake.

“Are you okay?” Evan asked.

“I’m fine. I have a class to get to. Have fun!”

With that, Orlando walked outside, the door swinging shut behind him. Evan had the strange urge to chase after him, to explain or maybe apologize, but he really didn’t know what he would say. Instead he turned his attention to the interior, checking each door before proceeding up another flight of stairs. On the third floor, he found the familiar last name of Taylor. He pushed the doorbell, then knocked for good measure.

“It’s open!” a voice shouted from inside.

This was crazy. Not only did Evan have the address of an Internet celebrity, but now he was being invited to stroll on in! He put his hand on the doorknob and did just that.

His first impression was of a completely normal home. He stood in a hallway with a kitchen to his left and a small closet to his right. From ahead came the sounds of a ball game, so he walked toward this, passing a bathroom on his way. A doorway at the end of the hall revealed the edge of an unmade bed, but he ignored it to focus on the living room to the left. The space was average in size and not completely unfamiliar. The computer in one corner was new to Evan, but everything it faced was in the background of most videos Tony made. This included a glass coffee table, two side tables with tasteful lamps, and a long couch covered in brown suede.

Sitting on this couch, game controller in hand and facing a big screen television, was Tony. Similar to most of his videos, Tony was shirtless. Less typical were the Pokémon-themed pajama bottoms he wore, and the way his hair stuck up like he’d just crawled out of bed.

“Hey!” Tony said, sparing him a glance before returning his attention to the TV. “You got my message! I wasn’t sure if you would.”

“Yeah. I guess I’m a little early.”

“Nah, I’m running late. Slept in. Want to play?”

Evan glanced at the screen where a virtual baseball game was taking place. “I’m not really a sports guy.”

“Too bad. Have a seat.”

He did so. The couch was long enough that Evan didn’t have to sit directly next to Tony. He preferred this, since it made it easier to sneak peeks at him. Tony didn’t have much to say. He focused on his game, tongue sticking out the corner of his mouth. In fact, he didn’t seem to care much that he had a guest. Evan tried making conversation a few times, his efforts met only with grunts. He even considered leaving at one point but was too curious to see what would happen. Something had to happen. Right?

“I’m getting hungry,” he said.

Tony glanced over at him, looked him up and down. “Of course! Sorry. Let me grab a quick shower, and we’ll be on our way.”

Evan was handed the game controller. He pushed a few buttons until Tony had left the room. Then he paused it and sighed. He listened to the shower hiss, the sloshing sound of water hitting the tiles. Tony began to whistle. The shower went on and on, Evan growing more bored and horny by the minute. He stood—just to stretch his legs of course—and casually wandered toward the hallway. The bathroom door was open.

An invitation? Or just luck? Evan debated internally, lecturing himself for even thinking such a horrible thought. Once he felt thoroughly chastised, he crept down the hall. The bathroom door was wide open. As he peeked around it, he saw the shower curtain was too, having not been pulled shut fully. The floor was getting wet, but he barely noticed this because the view was so damn fine.

Water coursed over Tony’s strong shoulders, running down the valley of his back muscles and between his firm ass cheeks. He was rinsing his hair, face raised to the showerhead as he drank and spit. Then he spun around, giving Evan an impression of a cock that had to be half-hard because it was too long to be soft. He caught Tony’s eye before ducking back down the hall. Then he hurried back to the living room, face burning.