It doesn't have to end this way, they spit it out the same. I hear them, the voices swear in my ears as I lay awake in the darkness, waiting for something. Someone, something, just kill me. My soul is already sold to Hell, tell me what I've got to live for! My mind is on the boarder line, what is real and what isn't. Your words could cut right through, I don't forget the words that you shoved at me. The words that sting the most, stabbing into my skin as punishment for being one of the living. I already choke in my own misery, breathing in this sea of depression. Cause' you can already see the pain in my eyes, the lifeless I give off to the world, waiting for the force to take me down into a pile of ash. Set me free, let me find the happiness that I can only find with a blade. I can only go so deep, before the demon takes over me.
They rip at me from the inside, in my mind and in my ears. The wasted nights of sitting in front of a mirror. These eyes are no longer mine, I can't smile anymore. I'm so far gone, I'm in a never ending sleep. I stare at the bottle of pills I keep beside my bed, thinking of when to swallow all of them, so I can fall to the ground. And I can't sleep, the nightmares creep in of the past I never had. All my emotions are gone, you throw punches at me, I never cared. This world isn't that beautiful, I'm making a death wish.
I could find peace with my mind before they destroy it. Would you realize how much I suffer? I can only take so much, before I give up. My heart no longer beats for the thrill I loved, they took it from me, now I only see in black and white. I bleed from the inside, the things you can't see, what I won't admit. I'll stare at the blade in my hand, focusing on the shiny metal. I always go too deep. "You're fucked up A, go kill yourself before you spread." The words that you throw down my throat, the words that lead me to the actions I do. The drugs I take to make me less of a screw up, they take away all my feelings. I can't feel happy. You'd only care if I was gone, is that what it takes? Hear my words, listen well, I look up to the sky and wonder how different it would've been. I'm not strong enough to keep alive, and I'm already dead.
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