The sickness is eating me, tearing me from the inside and nesting in my bones. Just look at my face. Pale like porcelain with dark rings under my eyes and red lines around the irises. My hair looks dull and I have no smile. I walk too slow and it's hard to breathe. Everything I look at the words 'Cancer' scream into my ears. I'd sit in front of a screen in the dark with lack of sleep thinking of how I'd end my life. You could watch me twitch and stand still as I'm already dead in the inside. I could regret all of it. It's a shame that beating it costs so much. You can only take so much pain for so long. There's no enough green out there to heal what I have lost. The hours of sleep I don't get. I sometimes question my mental state. The comments of how I'd be laying in a hospital bed waiting for death to take me with his cousin. Well, look at me now. I wouldn't mind to join you where you are mom and I'd wear dad's helmet holding your hand with Zane. There's much to a story that hasn't end and the book is only have finished. Though you'd know that I won't remember how it ends. I lack strength and I lack the heart to give. It's the same words written down on paper, same ink, and same skin. One chance is all I'd give. The chance that I no longer carry with me. Though I believe that I have more lives waiting for me. So I won't wait for the roads untraveled but I'll look for them.