After the day, I had I wanted to go straight to bed but that couldn't happen when Mr. Davis and our Captain step into view. I closed my eyes wishing I didn't see them, wish them away but when I open my eyes they were still standing there with smiles on their face. I wish this day would end but apparently it won't. "how can I help you fine gentleman?" I ask them. "well as you know June in a weeks' time we will be in space traveling to our new home," said my captain. "I know that sir, I'm second in command and I just gone over the final review for everything today," I told him. "good job kid now all I have to do is review that and then on last drills and simulations are tomorrow and we were already to set sail," he said.

I didn't want to think about the final drills. After the final drills would be a day we would spend with our families and then after that, the whole world would come together for a day when we leave our home for another one. I didn't want to think about that yet. I wanted a day or two more just to not think but that wasn't going to happen. After talking for a few more minutes with my Captain and Mr. Davis I made my way into my room. I lock my door and drop to the floor. My heart was pounding against my ribs. My head was spinning. I couldn't breathe. It felt like my throat was closing but I knew it wasn't. I was having another attack. I wrap my arms around myself and close my eyes. I try to think of all the good that will happen and all that will come after. I try to think of good things. I try. My body feels heavy and numb. I open my eyes to see stars in my vision. I close my eyes again and try to calm down. My body is shaking hard. I need to breathe! I unwrap my arms from myself and make fists. I raise my hands above my head and slam them down on the floor. I do it again and again until I can breathe. I open my eyes and look down towards my hands and unclench my fist. My hands hurt and are turning into a different color.

Damn. This isn't supposed to happen. This isn't supposed to happen at all. I am supposed to be calm in the face of this mission. I need to be calm! I need to be all kinds of things when I really want to be me. Some kid trying to get into her choice of school for her master degree and having fun, not someone who was thrown into a space mission for colonizing hundreds of thousands of miles away from home. But here I am training for this mission getting everything done and learning my trade and skills here. I have my own team under me while Captain Miles doesn't. It's like I am his only back up in case anything happens to him. I don't like the thought of that what so ever. I need to calm down.

I got up from the floor and walk up to the window looking out over the beach onto the sea. I'm going to miss this view. All I'm going to get now is red dirt and a sky full of stars. Well, I could live with the stars but I'll miss the beach. I'll miss my family and the people I know here but this is also something good. Apart of me feels it in my gut but another part feels that it must go wrong in order for the good to happen. I don't dwell too long on the negative, scare that it will give me another anxiety attack. I shake the thoughts for my mind and continue to look outside until my phone rings. I put up the phone and press the video icon so that whoever is calling me can see me. I didn't feel like being on the phone but it would be rude of me not to at least pickup and see who is calling me.

When I looked up I saw Ava's face I look away from her but I didn't hang up on her. "hey, boss you good?" she asks me. "As good as I can be Ava," I answer her. I didn't mean to sound rude but I was tired and I didn't feel like having the doctor worry about me. I know it her job but it's my job to worry about her. "I know you don't want me to worry about you but it's not just my job, I also just worried about my friend," she said. I looked up at the screen and saw her worry for me. I sigh and told her about the pressure and the feelings I had. I didn't tell her I had another attack after talking to Miles and the guy funding this project. I didn't want to relive that feeling. As we talk I started to feel some of the weight melt off. I felt like I could breathe again. I guess talking to someone who thought of me as a friend helped me more then I realize. Maybe I should do it more often.

It was getting close to midnight, the call with Ave ended hours ago and yet I couldn't help feeling better. At the same time, I wasn't tried but I knew I needed sleep. I walked away from the window and lay down on my back. I was still dressed in my uniform and I didn't feel like changing. Soon my body relaxes and my eyes felt heavy. I tried my best to keep my eyes open but sleeps overcome me.

I toss and turn all night long in a fitful sleep. My dreams were consumed with nothingness and when I woke up I groan. I got up change out of my clothes and took shower and got ready for the day. I ate something and went to the meeting room for our final drill reports and mission summaries. Then after the drills, it would be our final simulations than the day after that family day, then world day or whatever they want to call it then we leave earth three days after that. I didn't want to think about any of this but I had to. It was too much but then again it has been a crazy ride from start to finish and we're almost finished.

The first thing that needed to be done today was our final simulations or flying and anything stations that could possibly kill us all. Everyone who signs up for this mission had to go through it. But the captain and I had to go through special training, not only for handling the vessel that our captain has decided to call The Leviathan. Not only handling the vessel but for the unlikely event we encounter anything, we had to do battle simulations for any reason. We also had to do basic maneuvers for any metors and other spaces rocks out there.

I took a deep breath and steady myself for my three-hour test. I wasn't the best at taking test but this was easy. I just needed to stay calm. I've done things that were harder than this I told myself. And that's exactly what I did. I kept my cool and thought about things that I thought I'd never do. I thought about how I came out to my family and how scared I was. I thought about asking out my first girlfriend and the rejection and how I moved on. or when I said, "I love you" to the girl who was my world but was taken from me months later by cancer that wanted to add another soul to their collection. How I couldn't get over her but I knew she wanted me to move on. but I don't think she meant to another planet but I know where ever I go shell always be in my heart. It only felt like minutes went by but I knew I was halfway done with this last simulator. I was in control. Nothing was stopping me then blaring red light started going off with an alarm. I knew this was part of the simulation and I knew what to do. "all hands prepare for combat situations we encounter something on our final descent to the red planet" I spoke in the headset and began the battle. A team of graphic designers and artist try to create the most realistic battle situation for anything that could happen and I just so happen to be on the hardest set level.

This simulation was killing me. I mean I was doing great, I lost no crew member, my flying was the best it's ever been and I am almost done. All I had to do now was land on Mars and I'll be done. Then something happens that I wasn't expecting. The controls lock in a downward motion and I had only seconds before we crash. I quickly let go of the controls and flip open the control panel next to them. I try to restart the controls to get them moving again but it didn't work. It just short curated and shock my hands. I shook my hands and control to look for a way to fix my problem. Then it came to me. I went to the panel again but instead of restarting the controls I bypass it all together by rerouted the power a second set and the controls were working again. I wanted to yell but I didn't I had five seconds before we all died. I quickly fix the settings and brought the ship in for a fast but well put landing. I let go of the controls when I knew I was done. The screen went black and I saw my final score. My body shook with excitement as I saw my score. I scored a perfect score of one hundred.

I was stunned that this happen. I was stunned at myself. I've never seen any of my scores before this test but seeing this one score now rock me. I didn't think this was possible for me. I've never felt prouder. I jump up and bounce with joy. I walked out of the simulator with a smile on my face. And in the moment, it was replaced when I saw Maxwell Davis make his way to me. "June! Look at that score! that's why you are second in command of this mission and yes I saw the play by play, your reaction and quick thinking save not only yourself but the lives of your crew!" he said. I just stood there nodding my head. He kept on talking for about ten minutes before we had to take our physical fitness test. It was really a combination of the arm force test but changed in some ways. We would have to do two minutes of push-ups and sit-ups and pull-up while running two and a half miles and then an obstacle course in under two hours. After changing into some shorts and a tee-shirt with my running shoes I went to the gym where the test was benign held.

Some light warms up and I was on my way running around the indoor tracking keeping time on how many laps I was running. I needed run ten laps around the track. After fourteen minutes, I was done running and reported it to the trainer. Then I was set up to do some of the other things after a quick run to the bathroom. I did the push-ups first when the timer started I began. After the two minutes were up I counted eighty-six push up were done. Next, I did was the sit-ups. Once again, the two minutes flew by and I was able to do ninety. Finally, were the pull-ups. The last time I did pull-ups and time myself was three days ago, I was able to do twenty-five which was beyond passing but I wanted to do more than that. I step up to the bar I waited until the trainer told me to begin.

I pulled myself up and drop and pulled up again with my chin over the bar. I kept repeating that in my head. I kept it going until the burning in my arms screaming at me to stop but I didn't. I pulled myself up pushing past my limits. I wasn't going to stop until he told me to stop. it felt like minutes past before he told me to stop, I didn't keep count on how many pull-ups I did until he told me my final score. it was frothy. I look at him in surprise and smile. My arms were on fire but that didn't stop me from throwing my fist into the air. I was happy. And then the trainer told me my overall score was a ninety-nine out of hundred. No one has ever gotten higher than a ninety-five but I did. Next up was the course we had to run but we were given a break to drink some water and eat a protein bar. I did another light warm up to keep my body from cooling off and went to the starting line. The course was long but that didn't bother me. When the sound off happens, I didn't sprint off like the five others I was with. I knew that this was going to tried me out so I took my time.

I was halfway done with the course when I saw the five others struggling to run and climb these walls or climb the ropes and ladders. I didn't pay them any mind. I was breathing hard but not as hard as the others. I push myself but also kept in pace. And in no time, I was climbing over eight-foot walls and doing low crawls and rope climbing. An hour later I was the first one to finish the course while the others struggle to finishes it. I should remind them all that rushing isn't the best thing to do. But then I take notice that Stevenson is one of the people I ran this course with. he was struggling hard and was coming in last place. I shook my head at the thought of him being in control and it scared me. My run time was of the best they seen so far and I was in first place for this physical test then after then was our final drill which meant we would dress up in our best uniforms that represent each country, also known as our dress blues, and present ourselves to the world and started family day. It was more of a two-day event and the final engine check then two days later we would leave.

I left the gym and made my way to my room to shower and get dress. My dress blue uniform was made up of a silver dress shirt and blue dress pants with black shoes a black tie and a medal with my rank on the shoulder and a collar device with the head cover being the final piece I put it all on. I step out of my room with the head cover in my hands and walked to the mean area where we will kick off family day. I stood behind a closed door waiting for the others that made up our crew to be ready. I was one of the first ones there but soon after I was greeted by my sub-leaders with their dress blues on as well. After an hour, more than half of us were there. I was greeted with all the worlds dress blues that made of our crew and it was a beautiful sight. Soon we were all ready and I heard Maxwell speak.