“You’re a cheater.” Hissed Aoi repeatedly smashing buttons on the PX controller “this is why I like Hypnos better! At least he knows how to let a lady win!”

Kinky smirked his trademark ‘I’m going to crush you into little bits’ smirk and tapped the back buttons. The screen before the two of them flashed bright colors, turned to a deep crimson with a pale blue line in the middle with thick white words on each side. “I win, again.” Kinky pointed to the words on the screen a leaned back in the chair “semi-flawless victory.”

“****ing cheater!” Aoi screamed tossing the control “you’re a gay cheater!”

“How insensitive.” He gasped “I’m starting to feel very attacked.” His face flushed and he moaned slightly rubbing his exposed torso “yell some more.”

“Kinky!” Hypnos walked out of the kitchen holding a pile of laundry “what happened to your shirt?”

Without missing a beat, Kinky stood posing his abnormally perfect body “I repelled shirts. It’s like I’m staring in a personal fan service for young women all over the world.” Another smirk “I should really have my own spin-off, series.”

“Stop being stupid.” I hissed tossing a shirt at the chiseled perfection I detested “your abnormal body standards are making me feel attacked.”

“Stop being special snowflakes,” Hypnos said walking the pile of laundry into my bedroom.

“Hey! I told you not to keep putting your stuff in my room!”

“Hey.” Kinky began to turn his head slowly towards me “who said you could talk to my wife like that?”

“Here we go again.” I looked back at my computer “can’t you two stop assigning gender roles to each other. Quit putting your stuff in my room, quit sleeping in my closet. And get your own damn house!”

“Can’t.” Hypnos walked back into the room “Tokyo, is expensive.”

“Really?” I was struggling not to roll my eyes but I could feel Kinky’s stare on me “maybe one of you should get a real job instead of working at Starbuxx. Just saying.”

“You-you cheated!” Roared Aoi standing up her hair turning a deep fiery red.

“Oh, look.” Kinky’s attention shifted to Aoi “I pissed off the succubus.”

“Again?” Hypnos sighed.

“I told you to stop playing that game with her.” I wasn’t going to pay this fight any more attention. “Just please, don’t break another controller.”

Black, leathery wings erupted from the back of Aoi’s nightgown “no sewing that up” Hypnos said taking a seat beside me, as a long pointed tail with a bright pink heart shot out of her sleep pants “nor that.”

Kinky stood up. Shirtless, again. Magically. He ran his hand through his thick pink hair and smirked at her “I may not have my powers.”

“I’ll never know where he pulls that from.” Kinky cracked the whip on the ground sending sparks into the air.

“His ass,” Hypnos said.

“Wouldn’t surprise me.”
 “Don’t need magic to defeat a low-level bitch like you.”

Aoi leaped into the air flying with her hands open “I’ll show you what a fatality looks like in real life.” She flew forward at lightning speed.

“Still too slow.” Kinky’s whip wrapped around Aoi’s body in a weird, hentai-like fashion and her body fell to the floor “damn. You’ll never get a man like that.”

Aoi hissed beginning to kick and thrash about on the floor.

Thirteen months. Five days and six hours. That’s how long I’ve been living like this. In a house with a succubus who has a penis, two gay guys who live my closet – oh! The irony. I just got that! Let’s just say, my life has changed. In some ways. Aoi is still working to win my virginity but now competes with a sex-craved psychopath, Kinky. And we live here. We, all live here. In a small Tokyo apartment.

I lifted my legs as Kinky’s body slid across the floor “looks like your horns shrinking!”

Aoi roared.

Things are weird. Well, maybe for you. For me, this is an everyday occurrence. You would wonder how one gets used to something as insane as this. How did I do it? I’m clearly living in an anime and I’ll just have to wait for the season to end. Which should be in a few more episodes. We’re on what, episode seven or something. So soon. And we’ll return to normal.

A knock came at the door. And cue the next anime stereotype, just introduced in this season. Aoi looked at the door through the whip she was coiled in and growled like a wild animal. “That’ll be for me,” I said getting up.

“Tell Mari, I said hi.” Hypnos said “and I’ll make sure Aoi stays put this time. Kinky.”
 “Oh, Daddy.”
 “This is why I don’t have friends, never invite friends over and have no social life.” I said walking over to the door and lifting up my backpack “and please be gone when I get home.” I opened the door ignoring the begging of a tied up Aoi.

“Good morning!” I said softly to a waterfall of black hair.

“Yu-kun!” She whipped her head around with a huge smile on her face.

Welcome to the show. The beautiful, talented, Goddess-like creature that is Mari. Aoi’s sworn enemy and rival and my secret love interest that everyone but her knows. “Good morning,” I said casually closing the door.

“Yuuuuuuuuuuu!” Aoi howled in agony “nooooooooooo!”