Clifford

"Aw, what the fuck!" I shout into the mic as my character onscreen gets killed by a human. Thatsnotmywallet killed you!  I've been playing Halo 4 Flood online for the past two hours, earning myself a bunch of gamer score from the achievements I've gotten. Whoever just shot me not only killed my player, but my kill streak also.

"Boo yah!" A feminine voice screams in my ears through my headpiece. Geez, this kid is asking for it- gloating for killing me. He's probably ten, not even hitting puberty yet.

After a moment, my character respawns as a flood again and I chase off in search of the player who killed me. Time to pay my dues and infect him.

As I'm running around converting people to the zombie-like being I'm playing as, I can't seem to find the person who shot me.

You have killed lightningstrikes82!

You slaughtered jasonsbutt15!

You have struck down Flapagos19!

"God dammit, where are you Thatsnotmywallet?" I ask, a frustrated edge to my voice. After pressing my right bumper on the controller, my person boosts forward super fast.

"Right here!" That same girly voice says from the other end of the line. From behind, my person is sniped and killed. As my body falls to the ground I look at the next notifications in awe.

Thatsnotmywallet got a headsgot!

Thatsnotmywallet is on a killing spree!

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!" My jaw locks after shouting, the blood boiling in my fists.

How the hell did that person manage to shoot me while I was boosting?

"Sorry doll, but I don't joke around when it comes to Halo."

"AGH!" It took all I had not to tear out my hair at the sound of Thatsnotmywallet's voice. Wait, did the person just call me doll?

"Did you just call me doll?" I echo my thoughts into the mic. Respawning in 5... 4..... 3... 2... 1...

"Yup. Basically." Their nonchalant tone makes me roll my eyez.

Who the fuck is this person? And why are they making me so mad?

On screen, I choose to change my spartan loadout to thermal vision. It takes a few seconds, but once it loads I take off sprinting near where I died.

Time Remaining: 10 seconds.

9 seconds.

"Ah shit." I mutter, knowing exactly who is going to win.

"I'm going to wiiiinnn and you're going to looooseeee!"

My hands tighten on the controller as I race towards my opponent.

3 seconds.

"Come on!" I sprint forwards, activating my thermal vision. "Where are you?"

Game over! The survivors win!

"Told ya! I win!"

"Whatever."

The person giggles on the other end, and my eyebrows knit together. Dudes don't giggle. Giggling is for-

Oh. The mysterious player is a girl. Duh. A totally annoying, totally awesome at Halo, totally frustrating... girl.

Without even thinking it through, I send a friend request to the girl on Xbox Live.

Friend request sent.

After around 3 minutes, I get another notification.

Thatsnotmywallet accepted your friend request.

I don't even try to hide my grin.