11:45AM — While Brandy was helping me prepare for lunch, I asked her to pass me the eggplant. It took her quite a while before she took the tomato and passed it on me. She doesn’t know which vegetable is which.
2:30PM — Brandy asked me thrice the name of the triplets on different occasions.
5:00PM — Brandy tried and tasted the Lake Garda olive oil. After she turned her back from the personnel, she again asked me if she could try to taste the oil. She didn’t remember she tasted it already.
6:30PM — We went to the wine festival in Bardolino where we enjoyed wine tasting. Brandy had at least four wines tasted in a row. She was all smiles and happy then she turned to look at me and asked what we were doing at that place.
The room started to spin around me as I fell to the ground, the notebook falling on my chest. I took a deep breath and forced myself to get up off the ground. I pulled my hand across my eyes trying to wipe away the quiet emotions inscribed in my mind.
Did it really happen? Why can’t I remember any of this?
I tried to settle the emotions inside me, but they were fighting their way out, fluttering in my stomach and came hand in hand with the realization I was being used for some sort of research and how pathetic that made me feel.
I stormed outside, and Ivo looked at me, a question in his eyes as if to ask me what is wrong.
“I’m not a case that you need to solve, Ivo! Damn you!” I felt the tears start to roll down my cheeks leaving a warm trail underneath my icy glare.
Ivo stepped closer to me, scaring me even more. He attempted to talk but shut his mouth and the shocked expression on his face morphed into one of concern. He pulled me in and tried to wrap me in his arms. I was having none of it, and I pushed him away. My feet stepped onto the slick sidewalk, and I left with no particular destination in mind.
The rain started to pour. Hard. The winds were so strong that the rain fell nearly horizontally. The howling winds deafened my thoughts.
“Brandy, stop!” Ivo ran after me and pulled me into a tight embrace as the rain soaked our clothes.
Even his warmth couldn’t stop the shivers. The cold has seeped too deeply into my bones.
His fingers gripped my arms and shook me gently to make me open my eyes. “Let’s talk, don’t just go. Let me get you a towel. You need to get out of those clothes.”
He moved away, but I grasped the back of his shirt, he spun around and at that moment everything turned pitch black.
***
Tired, sick and not feeling well. I took in a deep breath. Maybe, I was just over-thinking it when I woke up the next morning.
I checked my phone and saw several missed calls from Ken. I called him back and as usual, he nagged me about how dead worried he was when I was not answering his call.
“Tonight is our flight back to Boston, Brandy. I need you to be here at the hotel now.”
“Okay, I’ll be right there.”
Just when I was about to move and go pack my things Agata appeared in front of the door and gave me a sad, sympathetic smile.
“I-I came to check if you’re already awake. Maybe you could have breakfast with us before you leave?” she asked, stammering a little bit. “Brandy, I know you’re upset.” Agata walked into the room and sat at the edge of the bed. “Ivo went to Rome to consult his psychiatrist friend and seek help regarding your situation,” she started.
“My situation?” I asked, giving my best not to let my voice drip with sarcasm.
“Brandy, my brother, told me about his plan when you arrived here, and I agreed to help. He said he read from your journal some information about your family’s disease and your fear that you might… acquire it,” her voice cracked, and she stammered noticeably as she spoke. “I’m so sorry we didn’t tell you. Ivo asked me to jot down everything on that notebook if I notice something different about you, especially the things that you forget, and I noticed it on several occasions,” she said, her eyes full of sorrow once more.
I stayed silent and just listened to what she had to say. “I showed him the notes when he got back from Rome. I forgot that I placed it on top of the refrigerator. But, well, maybe it was bound to happen for you to find out what he’s been up to,” she continued.
“Tell your brother to look for another patient ’cause I don’t need his services,” my voice was quivering. I grabbed my bag and started packing my things. I’d miss her and the triplets, but I couldn’t think of any reason to stay. For sure, I’d miss everyone, not only Agata and the kids but Ivo as well.
“Brandy, you’re still weak. I think you need to eat.” Agata offered but honestly, the last thing I could do was eat.
“I can’t stomach eating now, Agata. I’ll just rest in Valpolicella, and I will eat something later. Please, I have to leave now. Don’t make it harder for me.”
She nodded. “Sorry, Brandy. We didn’t mean to hurt you. My brother just wanted to help, his inten—”
“I’m fine! I don’t need your help.” My voice raised a bit.
I left the room, almost flying down the stairs. I wanted to leave without another word.
“Dove stai andando? Per favore Alondra non lasciarmi.”
A voice echoed around the room, and suddenly everything fell silent. I could hear my own heartbeat pounding in my chest.
I was at the door, and all I had to do was turn the knob then I would be out of there. But I was stuck. The pleading voice of Ivo’s dad—though I could not understand what he just said—made me turn my back to the door. I saw Ivo’s dad barely standing on his chair.
“Papa said, please don’t leave,” said Assunta.
“She’s not Alondra,” Tina said. “She’s not Papa’s former wife. He’s just hallucinating Assu—”
“Zitto Tina!” Agata interrupted and again there was silence.
Ivo remained silent as well. He looked at me with begging eyes, but I looked away and walked toward his dad.
I supported him to sit back in his chair. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I took him out to their porch for a breath of fresh air. We just sat there, looking at the scenic view and inhaling the cool air. He was holding my hand and not letting go of it.
“Ti amo mi amore, farò sempre,” Ivo’s dad said and very soon after, he fell asleep.
I slipped my hand off his grip and went back inside the house to look for my things. As soon as I opened the door, Ivo walked out of it already had my bag slung over his shoulder.
“I’ll drive you to Valpolicella, let’s go.”
“No need,” I said defiantly.
Ivo didn’t even look at me. He went straight to his car and started the engine.
I reluctantly slid into the passenger seat and gave him a deadly glare.
The drive to Valpolicella was smooth and quiet. I knew the words he would say, but I always looked away before they tumbled out from his lips.
I swallowed against the lump lodged in my throat. In rapid succession, the events from the night before flashed through my mind. Once again, it reminded me of everything that made me feel so pathetic.
I shook my head and pushed away all the ghosts haunting me, and took a deep breath.
Ivo suddenly pulled over. “Brandy, can you just quit ignoring me.”
“Why should I do that, Dr. X?” I snapped. He flinched.
“I prefer having you scream at me than ignoring me,” he persisted.
I stayed quiet.
“I just want you to talk to me,” he sighed and held my hand. “Please.”
I slid out of the car and started walking. He ran after me and grabbed my hand to stop me.
Closing my eyes, I shook my head. “You gawked at me like I was a circus freak.” I cried.
“No, that’s not true. Listen, I wanted to help you. We will get through this.”
“We? Ivo there will never be a ‘we’!’” I ripped my hands from his grip, wiping away my tears. “Are you crazy? How can you possibly care so much for someone you just met? What? Are you practicing on me? You pity me? Well, newsflash; I don’t want any of it! I don’t need your sympathy. I don’t need your pity. I don’t need you!”
He listened as I ranted and raged, screamed, and cried.
“Why are you so stubborn, Brandy? Goddammit, give it up.” Ivo held me in his arms. He held me until I fell silent once again, placing a gentle kiss on my forehead.
“You should be the one to give up, Ivo and try to stop being clingy.” I broke down, falling to my knees crying. It was just unbearable, and I took out my frustration out on him. Everything was just too much.
“Brandy, just let me in,” he spoke quietly as he brushed some hair strands covering my face. I shoved his hands away. “I just want you to be okay.” He spoke as he knelt down, pulling me back into a hug.
“I will never be okay.” I dropped my hands, sobbing quietly while saying it repeatedly. He wrapped my legs around his waist just like a child and carried me back to the car as he nuzzled his head into my hair and kissed my forehead.
I sobbed into his shoulder, my tears soaking into the fabric of his shirt. “I don’t deserve any of this, Ivo. I don’t deserve you. Just leave me alone.”
“Shhh… you deserve all the love in the world.”
***
We arrived at the hotel where my brothers checked in after the wedding. The receptionist gave me my room key, and we rode the elevator up to where the room was. As soon as we reached the hotel room door, I asked Ivo to leave.
“You don’t need to push me away, Brandy.”
“But I have to. Leave now, Ivo or you will be stuck with me.
“I’d rather choose the latter.”
“Don’t be so ridiculous.”
A part of me knew I was being unreasonable and unnecessarily cruel, but I was too mad to care. I just wanted to stop thinking, stop being, even if it’s for a few seconds.
“I’m not gonna let you push me away,” he replied and moved closer to me.
“I know I’ll screw up.”
“I can handle you at your best. I’m sure I can handle you at your worst.”
“No. You can’t waste your time with someone like me, someone who will eventually forget everything,” I said in a low voice.
I could see his eyes shimmering in the light as he smiled painfully at me. I stared at his hazel brown eyes. How I wished I can remember not to forget him. I moved my finger over his face, tracing the contour of his nose and the shape of his thin lips. I wanted to remember every detail. I don’t want to wake up one day and not remember anything about him.
He hugged me tight and I buried my face in his chest. “Don’t pity me, Ivo. That’s the very least thing you could do for me.”
“I don’t pity you, Brandy. You’re blinded by your fear. Listen to the beating of my heart. It doesn’t resonate pity.”
I jerked my head up to face him. “It resonates what?”
Before Ivo answered, I heard Gin’s voice from behind. “Are you ready, Brandy?” He was carrying our luggage.
Ivo’s brows creased. “You’re leaving for Boston tonight?”
I nodded.
“Goodbye, Ivo. It was nice meeting you.”
With one last look, I walked out of the hotel and left.
Comments (0)
See all