AT A WAR IN MY MIND

There is a war going on. But instead of guns and bombs the weapons are much stronger than anything in the world they are words and thoughts that hit against the wall which is trying to protect its soldiers hiding behind it. The war is harsh but instead of two sides fighting against each other there is one side fighting against its own. The weapons are bouncing against my skull constantly there fighting inside my mind. The war has been going on for 14 years and it will continue. There have been treaties given and burned there had been surrenders which were long gone and forgotten. The year 15 is coming closer and the soldiers are tired and miss their family and mourn their friends and fellow soldiers. The thoughts of death often enter the war new problems and soldiers arrive every second the surroundings that once was so beautiful and fruitful now are ugly and barren. What once was such a colorful and happy place is now grey and bleak. When will this war end? When will my people be safe once more? When will my land grow to be happy colorful and fruitful? The answer is not there and the god we pray to is not there and if he is he has not heeded our call. My people lose faith and now shun the so called god that would try and save them for he does not exist. “If he loves us so and is there why put us through this hardship and sorrow?” is what my people and land wonder. If he shall be there and love us and care why does he make us so barren and bleak. Will death override the need to live? Only time shall tell but the future's looking even more bleak than the present. For we are at war in my mind.