Hello there reader;
I felt the need to write this section because I wanted to shed light on some of the backstory of how this story came to be. It’s something important to me on a moral and, I guess, emotional level. If you’d be so kind, please read to the very end. Okay, here I go…
If you read the description or credits section of the book (or comic), you noticed that there’s a credit for someone named J. S. (you probably also saw his name pop up if you read the ‘Acknowledgements’ page of Crossroads – he will also be referred to as “Jay” for the rest of this written piece). I wouldn’t be surprised if you didn’t think much of it, but I feel I need to further elaborate on that "Initial Concept" credit that I gave him. First and foremost, I need to say that the very first idea for Insight was not mine. What it has become today was Aaron Bos’ and my doing but, when this story didn’t even have a title yet, the first idea spawned from Jay’s mind. I was there when it happened actually. You see, back in College (the last few months of 2014), during one of my first encounters with Jay, we were talking about something or other (probably about writing) while amidst some other friends, when all of a sudden he had an idea. This initial idea was to have a group of college friends gain the powers of their alternate-reality selves due to having written a story that was identical to what was happening in that alternate reality. Both worlds would be connected and stuff would happen. As you have read and/or deduced, I kept that core concept, but a lot of things are different. Anyway, when he told me that idea, I thought it was cool, but what I didn’t expect was for him to turn to me and say (and this is paraphrased): “I want you to write it!” Now, I didn’t feel right about that. I mean, it was his idea, not mine. What right did I have to write this story? I agreed, nonetheless, but I proposed that we worked on it together. And so, we began working on the pre-planning, before a chapter was even written. Choosing which friends we knew would inspire the characters; what their powers would be; vague ideas of what could happen in the story; what kind of story it would be. At one point, Aaron joined the fray to add his own ideas, and I promised that I’d write and finish the story, no matter how long it took. Whether that was a promise I made aloud, or a promise to myself in regards to Jay, I can’t remember, but it’s one that I intend to keep, regardless.
Moving on, Jay ended up leaving the college, because of personal/medical reasons, at the end of the Fall 2014 semester, so it was just Aaron and I. I began actually writing the soon-to-be-called-Insight in the Winter 2015 semester, having Aaron as my unofficial editor (and mentor, now that I think about it). And although Jay was far away, I would send him chapter drafts and try to keep him in the loop with what Aaron and I had story and conceptually developed. Jay would give me some feedback on what he thought, and encouraging words (considering this was my first time seriously trying to write a book). However, as more months passed, even after I graduated, the less feedback I was given from him and the more it turned into very minimal dialogue about the story, such as just: “It’s good.” I distinctly remember us video-chatting via Skype once, after I sent him a new draft(s), and the words that stuck in my mind after asking him what he thought was more or less along the lines of “It isn’t how I would have written it, but it’s your story […]” Those words took me back, almost as if he were saying that he didn’t like where it was going without saying that. Knowing me, I brushed them off like they didn’t bother me, but they did. It didn’t help that around that time I was also being bombarded by various ideas from Jay and Aaron on what should happen in the story, what characters should do, or what direction it should take. Including my own ideas for Insight, my brain was starting to overload. I wanted to accommodate everyone (myself as well) while at the same time trying to compose a coherent storyline. It was like I was a seamstress being given different fabrics and patterns, and my job was to sew something together that made sense and worked. It was a lot harder than it sounds, especially since I was new to this.
Finally, after a little longer, I stopped writing Insight in January 2016, for about a year. I didn’t touch nor did I look at it (I did think about it a lot, though). Why? Well, at the time, I didn’t know why. I thought it was just because I had hit writer’s block. However, I realised that it was actually because, despite loving the story, I wasn’t writing it for me. I had been writing it for Jay. So, when it felt like my efforts were falling on deaf ears; not knowing if what I was writing was to his liking or not, I lost my motivation and inspiration to continue. It didn’t help that I was going through some personal problems with someone else in my social circle (who was the inspiration for one of the main characters). I didn’t want to carry over those negative emotions to the story and write something out of spite or whatever. Therefore, I needed to stay away from Insight until I gathered myself back to a point that I could write with more freedom and ease; with confidence.
Fast-forward to 2017, when I had a renewed sense of energy for Insight. My goal: to write it for me because I want to; because I love this story. To showcase it to others, despite it not being a completed story yet (this also lit a fire under me to write more), which is why I posted it online. I re-read the chapters I had finished, polished and/or revamped them. I even got a cover designed, and re-wrote solid character descriptions. I got some friends to do voice-overs for the audio-book I had tried doing, and now it’s going to be (or it already is – depending on when you’re reading this) a web-comic. If it wasn’t clear before, I love Insight to bits! The characters now stand on their own and not in the shadow of who they were supposed to represent. The world is developing, growing, flourishing; becoming something unique, something I’m proud of. I’m also deeply grateful to Aaron for being there every step of the way. If it wasn’t for his nitty-gritty editing skills, my writing would still be at a base level (for all of my stories). He knows Insight like it was the back of his hand, as much as I do. So he knows when a character does something out-of-character and it slipped past me. I’m also grateful to Jay for leading me onto this creative path. I had already wanted to become a writer, but more in the vain of TV, film, and comics (a scriptwriter, essentially). I had never really thought of writing a serious book, but thanks to Jay, I did. Ever since then, I’ve been writing more short stories and short novels. And I love each and every one of them.
Anyway, I feel like I went off topic… The point of writing this was to reveal to you the history behind Insight, the players who had a hand in bringing it to life, and why the credits are the way they are. If you read to this part, then I immensely appreciate it. Thank you for taking that time. Now, go on and enjoy the rest of this story and/or your day, I rather not keep you any longer. Take care and have fun!
Sincerely,
Amira K. Wolf
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