What did I do last month?

Why didn't I even notice?

Why have I not been so sensitive?

Why do I not know the word priority?

If only I knew. If only I wasn’t too selfish.

I just hope that ....

I could see you again

I could still take care of you

We could be able to bond at least every weekend

I can tell you what am I doing at school

I did not disobey you

I listened to you when you had a lot of stories

I accompany you on your walks

and above all....

To told you how much I love you, I miss you so much, dad. 

I didn't even tell you that before you left us.

I think more of myself.

I'm so selfish. 

I wish ... I could bring back the time. 

I left the hospital, without wearing any footwear. I just only knew it now because of what just happened a while ago.

Just thinking of it makes my whole body weak. I hold tightly on rails, deepen my breath. 

I saw how he died. I could see in his face that he was having difficulty in breathing.

I was able to call help from my sister and went immediately using her husband's car. 

We thought dad would recover if we took him to the hospital. But not. 

I looked at the dark sky filled with stars. They glow so bright. What a beautiful sight in this painful night.

I feel a lot of pain in my heart. 

My tears flowed even more when I found out earlier from the doctor that he had been suffering from the disease for a long time. Dad also checked up at this hospital for a long time. WHY DID I JUST KNOW THIS NOW?

DAMN IT. 

A woman stopped and stand in front of me while I was crying on the side of the road.

She suddenly asked me, "Do you have a wish? I will give you, but only one. I will only fulfill it if that is what your heart desires."

"Really? Any wish?" Silly me, I know she doesn't have super powers. She looks like she's just wandering around on the road. But I want to give it a try. 

"uhuh. Anything my dear. I guarantee." 

"I hope he comes back again. I miss my dad so much." that's all I want.

She smiled and said, "31 days. Do what you have to do. Do not waste time. Remember that."

I was stunned for a moment and for a few seconds the woman disappeared. Will I believe her?

I wiped away my tears and then went back to the hospital.

Its surrounding is a bit different compared to before. I returned to our seats. But my sister is gone. I asked the nurse on duty at the station if she had seen my sister, and then I was terrified. "Miss, no one has sat there before."

"For real??! She's tall. She also have long hair. The truth is, we are waiting for our dad's corpse to be formally taken to the funeral."

"What is your family name?"

"Santos."

"We don't have a record mam."

"We just filled out a form!"

"What time please?"

"About 6:30 pm."

"Miss, I'm sorry. Nothing. And I also don't remember you coming in here earlier. My duty here starts at 4pm, and I don't remember you coming in here, or your sister."

"Are you kidding?"

"Miss sorry, no."

I left the Station. I went back to the ward and saw a lot of people lying in the room. I asked them one by one. "How long have you been here?"

"just yesterday."

"ten o'clock earlier."

and I was nervous when they answered, "We've been here a month."

W-what's this???

I have no choice but to go home. Fortunately, I have coins in my pocket to ride a public vehicle on my way home. I was able to put money on my pocket but no footwear?

When I got home, the house was closed but there's someone inside. I can smell what is being cooked. But I only know one person who cooks like this.

I knocked and was surprised of what I saw.

He opened the door for me. I stared at him, I really can't believe it. "Aren't you going in? It's like you saw a ghost--"

I hugged him tightly. This is not a dream.

I hugged him. He's hot. He is not a corpse.

He hugged me too. "Dinner is almost finished. Come on in."

I closed the door and he went back to the kitchen.

The TV is turned on. He has a habit that even when doing laundry or cooking, the TV needs to be turned on, he needs to hear the news, any noise or music. 

And one more thing, I also can't believe what I saw. The commercial ....

The drama we watch most often, it's been a long time coming !!!!

It's all just Alyana's dream !!!

I also looked at the calendar, October 3, 20 **

I peeked at dad. I'm really nervous. He is already putting the dish on the table. He is really human. Why is that? He had just been lying in the hospital, how did this happen?

"Where have you been? You came with any slippers or shoes."  he asked. 

"Dad? What is the date today?"

"Please check the calendar sweetie. I think its October 3."

"October ??? Isn't it November?"

"It's only October. Sembreak is in three weeks."

Why is that?

"Let's eat. How is your school? When was the release of your report card? The last time I took it, your teacher told me asdfghjsjsjshskaoowwoakaksnzbzbshsjaj."

I no longer understand what he is saying. I just say yes.

He was always telling stories. The stories he tells over and over again, it's so boring. But I will let my ears hear him for the last time.

He stood for a moment "wait, I'll just turn off the tv. where is the remote?"

After that, it's time for bed. I am still thinking maybe everything is just a dream. Thank you for the beautiful dream.