BANG! The sound of the gun firing echos inside of me. It felt like a large boulder had just been dropped inside of me. Lowering the gun, I tried to shake off the guilty feeling. They were enemies of the people who had tried to escape, but the stench of the overcrowded cattle cars would make anyone run away. Thunk, The dead body of a young girl fell at my feet. She was in baggy clothes that at one point had probably fit quite nicely and still would if she hadn’t lost most of her body weight. Stepping over her, I headed to the car in the front for the soldiers. The car that wasn’t full of criminals.
The next morning, I felt better. The sound of the train on the tracks made me smile. When I was a little boy, I wanted to be an engineer or conductor so I could work with trains. But by the time I grew up the war had started so I became a soldier instead. The smile faded from my face standing up I pulled on my jacket and boots I retrieve my breakfast poorly made eggs and stale bread the food was gross but it beat what the criminals were eating the foul grain cooked with the dirty water we never bothered to clean it first. The whole cattle car ate from one bucket. I scrunch my nose at the thought of eating with my hands as there did. Putting away my dishes, I waited for the train to make its stops we were loading up more people today before our final destination the guilt came back when I remembered what was in those disgusting cars thinking of them only as wrongdoers criminals was so much easier on the conscious. The train pulled to a stop hopping out I could see the large group of criminals their eyes big and round with fear like a cornered animal the cattle cars were opened a few people poke their heads out they were immediately ordered at gunpoint to go back in which I didn’t think was entirely fair, after all, they didn’t know what was happening. Then the task began as we force more criminals on to the cars I was positioned at the door my task was simple enough but I hated it the most I had to help the criminals on to the car I lifted several little girls and boys help women and elderly men on to the cattle car I knew most soldiers were quite rough when they did this but I wasn’t I was nice about it after all they’ll suffer enough later.
I was passing a car when I heard crying the pit of my stomach dropped. Crying I hated crying when I heard to I wanted to rip my ears off so I didn’t have to hear it anymore. The boulder felt like in was expanding making my ribs ache. I bottled the scream I could feel coming out it was my fault they were crying because of what we were doing to them. What had they even done wrong I sure didn’t know I don’t think anyone knew but Stalin? Stalin, I hated him I swallowed hard my throat felt like it was filled with cotton. No Stalin was good he was a lover of children that's what all the posters say I shut my eyes taking a deep breath. Stalin he had to have a reason a good solid justifiable reason I couldn't question it or I would be executed but I'm sure he did have a reason a good reason. He had to right, otherwise what does that make me?