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Full of disappointment, I stare at the ceiling, numbed. Of all the moments I knew I could have done better; if only I did my best all the time... sure, my "best" might differ depending on the circumstances and 'inevitables' at the moment. But every single time I get back up, it turned out to be a back out. And, instead of crying, tears ran dry, and I just can't help but stare at this ceiling blankly.

I had a glimpse when I can say I did well, but then, not trying to be rude to myself by pushing into impossible heights, what I am regretting right now is the fact that I was rude to myself the other way around actually...

Regret from past mistakes

Regret from procrastination

Regret from mediocrity

Repeat it all,

over & over again, 

until it's too late.

Today's the first day of school vacation. Zooming out, I must admit, I'm improving amidst my past as I've learned from it slowly but surely. What should I gear anew within me? What should I readjust ??? What if I try again after a million times failing? Although it's easier said than done, full of twists and turns, all of these recurring what-ifs regarding me pushing further, working harder, and doing better aren't going away, they're here to stay to give me hope to get back up and to not give up; one more try, I guess.

Regear to good.

Regear to greatness.

Regear to God.

Return to Him,

over & over again,

before it's too late.  

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