Chapter One

Everything was pitch black.

At first, I couldn’t feel anything. I could only hear a steady beep that faded in and out as time passed, faint voices, the tick of a clock. It seemed like years had gone by before there was something more within my homely abyss. It started off small, like a light tap on my body. I hardly even noticed it; however, it grew into something much more painful as time progressed- a sharp pain against the side of my head, or a heavy pressure near my stomach.

I remember trying to speak, to say something- anything, but nothing would come out. Time seemed to move very slowly in my trance-like state. Eventually, I started to hear voices more clearly, but it was still too hard for me to make out any words.

Nevertheless, even more time passed. The more time I spent in this cold, emotionless place, the more conscious I felt. I felt a cold surface underneath me, hands on my skin, a needle in my arm. I still couldn’t open my eyes, but I got used to the voices around me. Whenever they came, I felt safe. They would read me stories and tell me jokes, and I imagined myself laughing at them, but I couldn’t actually do it.

The voices weren’t always happy, though. It seemed like they steadily grew more depressed and oftentimes I could feel tears fall against my skin. Maybe the tears were my own.

I quickly developed a hatred for this colorless place. I could feel things, hear things, smell things, but I couldn’t see. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t comfort the ones who were trying so desperately to comfort me. Little by little, I tried to pull myself away from this place. I focused all of my energy on one task until I was able to complete it and then I moved on to the next.

It seemed to take ages, but the first time I was able to move my body, it was a huge accomplishment for me. Even though it took every ounce of energy that I had and an immense amount of focus, I was able to move. It was very small, but it was enough for them to know that I was still here. I lifted my finger slowly, but it was noticeable. After that, there wasn’t as much crying. The voices seemed to come more often and in greater numbers.

I kept trying to move, to speak, and the voices encouraged me greatly. I could almost lift my entire hand and they cheered me on every step of the way.

However... I still couldn’t see. I didn’t even know who these voices belonged to.

I stopped trying to move my body which seemed to bring everyone down, but I had a new task that was much more important to me. The first time I opened my eyes, I quickly shut them again. After spending so much time in the dark, you forget how blinding the light can be. I still didn’t know where I was, or even who I was for that matter, but I would find out as soon as I could stand looking at the light. That was enough for me to keep moving forward.

      ☆☆☆

I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. My mind was completely blank. I opened my eyes and shielded them from the light above me. My body was sore and the pain in my head was excruciating, but that was nothing new. I blinked a few times to get used to the bright light before laying my hand back down against my stomach. As the door opened, I turned my head slowly to look.

The man walking in was definitely a doctor, but he didn’t seem to notice that I was awake. In fact, he didn’t seem to notice anything beyond whatever was written on the clipboard he was staring at. I tried to make a sound, but my throat was too swollen to speak and I ended up coughing instead. The pain was absolutely horrible. Regardless, the noise caught his attention and he finally looked up from his clipboard.

His eyes grew wide and the board fell to the floor in front of him. “Nyxandria?” I stared at him blankly, unsure of what to do from here.

“You scared me! I didn’t expect you to be awake!” He came towards me and I read the name on his jacket- Dr. Dylan Shaw. My bed began to rise as he helped me sit up. I felt nauseous and utterly confused, but I couldn't tell Dr. Shaw that. I couldn’t even speak. He listened to my heart and checked my vitals, but ultimately, everything was alright. I opened my mouth once more and tried to speak, but what came out hardly sounded human.

Dr. Shaw furrowed his eyebrows, quickly bringing me some paper and something to write with. My fingers were weak and I couldn’t hold the pencil tight enough to write anything down. I gave him a sympathetic smile, one that said, “Thank you for trying,” but Dr. Shaw was committed. He dug around in the desk beside my bed until he found what he was looking for.

The paper he handed me was filled with letters from A-Z as well as numbers from 0-9. He held a notepad in his hands, ready to write down the letters I gave him.

I smiled and began by pointing to H, continuing on with E, A, and D. I nodded toward him before moving on to the next word. “Head pain?” He inquired, meeting my gaze. I nodded once more and he sprung into action. “Of course! I’m so sorry! Let me get you some medicine!” Dr. Shaw ran around my bed, frantically searching for something to ease my pain, and I let out a small laugh followed by a fit of coughs.

He eventually came back dragging a stool behind him and sat down beside me. “All I can find on hand without a prescription is a pill. Is that alright with you?”

I thought about the pounding headache I had and nodded quickly. I’d do anything for some relief right now. “I will warn you that this is probably going to hurt, but, after everything you’ve been through, I’m sure you’ll handle it just fine.” I smiled and opened my mouth, cracking my dry lips in several places as I did. “Ready?” I hummed in response as he flushed down the pill with water.

Dr. Shaw helped it go down smoother by sliding his hands down the sides of my neck. I took the glass of water with shaky hands and tilted my head back, swallowing the rest as a burning sensation followed. “Other than your head pain, how are you feeling? You seem to be doing much better today. I can even see some color in your cheeks!”

I looked down and thought for a minute before holding up four fingers. “Four? That’s wonderful! I still can’t believe that you’re awake, Nyx.” He put his hand on mine and gave me a sad smile. “We’re making progress, Nyxandria,” he said, clearing his throat and moving away. “After some Physical Therapy and Voice Therapy, you should be able to finally go home. Not that I don’t like having you here, of course.” My smile faded as he mentioned my home. It reminded me that I didn’t know who I was, or where I was, or why I was even here to begin with. I’ve heard many voices throughout my days here and I do know, however, that I have a brother.

My brother came to see me often and I assumed he was one of the many voices I heard, but I couldn’t pick out which one. I’ve also figured out that Doctor Shaw was someone I knew before the accident, though I don’t know how or why.

“Nyx… You are going to have to meet him again at some point. You know that right? You can’t stay in this hospital room forever.” I turned my head and watched as the hospital’s helicopter sped away. What’s the worst that could happen? I mean, he is my brother after all.

I turned back to Dr. Shaw and opened my mouth. Furrowing my eyebrows, I pulled him closer and forced my voice to come to me, as well as the pain. “To--” I twisted my head and coughed, but I continued to try anyway. “To-Toda--y,” I breathed out heavily, proud of myself for getting the word out. For anyone else, it would’ve been a simple task. Dr. Shaw leaned back and smiled at me. “That’s the spirit, Nyx. Rest for now. I’m going to call him and see if he can come in after about an hour or so.”

He got up and turned towards the door, but I grabbed for his sleeve, pulling him back. “T--V?” I muttered, a grin spreading across my face. “Of course,” Dr. Shaw laughed, flipping on the TV and handing me the remote before heading out. I flicked through the shows until I found a comedy that caught my attention. I laughed at the jokes that were made, the sound coming from my mouth sounding more like a dying animal than one of joy. I didn’t care, though. Anything was better than eternal darkness.

Almost an hour had passed and I was slowly starting to fall back asleep until I heard a knock on my door. They didn’t wait for a response from me before they came in.

I smiled as Dr. Shaw came in, but my smile disappeared when I saw the man behind him. His eyes were wide as he stared at the place where my ear should have been. I turned my head slightly so that he couldn’t stare, but my heart was suddenly beating much faster than normal. The air felt thick and I realized that it was my fault. I took a deep breath and found the courage to face this situation head on.

I met my brother’s gaze and forced a smile on my face, pulling my short hair back so that he could see the damage that had been done. I still didn’t even know how it’d happened. “Nyx?”

“She is still having a hard time speaking, but she’s already doing better,” Dr. Shaw said, pulling up another chair at the side of my bed. He motioned for my brother to sit as he sat down in his chair from before. “I- I don’t know what to say. I’m so happy you’re awake Nyx! Dylan- I mean, Doctor Shaw said you might be able to go home in a few weeks.”

I looked at Dr. Shaw and he gave me a sad smile. “Hey, Elijah? You’re going to need to introduce yourself. She’s still blank-” Dr. Shaw tapped his temple and gave my brother the same sad smile he’d given me.

“Oh- uh, right. Elijah Moore. I’m your older brother.” He laughed awkwardly and turned away, no longer wanting to keep eye contact with me. “Ni-c-e... me--et yo-u,” I struggled to spit out. I tried my best to make things seem normal, whatever normal was, but he still seemed reluctant to believe that I was truly his sister. He talked to me for a while, telling me stories about my friends. Apparently I have many friends.

Elijah stayed until the sun began to set outside my window. Dr. Shaw let him know that he would have to leave soon to let me rest and he agreed to do so. Part of me was relieved this awkward reunion would be over soon.

“I’m glad you came back to us, Nyx. I don’t know what I would’ve done if-” He looked down and I could feel the sadness surrounding him. I was physically here, but deep down, he knows that his sister is gone. Gone, and not coming back. “El-ija-h?” I breathed out. “C--o-ome ba-ck.” He looked up and smiled. It seemed like it was the first real smile he’d given me all day. “I will.” He pulled me into a hug and then stood up as Dr. Shaw led him out.

My body felt overworked and weak, but I was proud of what I’d done. I couldn’t remember ever talking before today, but even so, I’d managed to force some words out anyway, and I finally gathered the courage to meet my brother, as silly as that sounds. Even though I knew I still had a long road of recovery ahead of me, I was prepared to push through. Today was only day one of who knows how many more. Just thinking about it makes me tired.