Chapter 1 Svið

Rahel sat in front of the dine table listening to her father complain about the same thing as last year. The words coming from his mouth were as sharp as steak knives cutting through the tender lamb. The angrier he got, the harder he chewed the food, until he looked like a big wolf ripping his prey apart. He grabbed two full hands of food and stuffed it into his mouth while looking at his wife, as if he were to eat her alive. Her mother remained silent, as always. The roasted rib fell off from her father’s oily hands. The splash of sauce on the wooden floor looked exactly like a blood stain. The shape of the splash was identical to the one coming from Rahel’s broken head in her suicide scene. The cold rib on the floor was just like Rahel: cold, numb and unwanted.

She took her plate away, leaving the dining room that looked like a murder scene and going back to her bedroom. She sat on the floor with her back against the door, looking at the Svið in her plate. A couple of minutes passed by, while she just started at the lamb skull and her leftovers. Then, another couple of minutes passed by, and the meat from the skull started to grow back. Rahel took the lamb head and hid in her wardrobe.

“Are you hurt, my child?” Asked the lamb head.

Rahel remained silent, just like her mother.

“Oh, I’m sorry for asking this silly question. I bet that too many people have hurt you, haven’t they?” Said the lamb head.

Rahel looked at it.

“I may comfort you, but I will not understand your pain. Because pain is not comparable.” Said the lamb head.

Rahel looked away.

“But, you can still talk to me, you know? It’s like a wound. It probably won’t heal and nothing can stop it from bleeding, however, at least we found it. We found what’s wrong. What’s not right. And this is the matter. Because, if the wound is not found, it will rot and cause the whole body to die. Even if it’s the tiniest wound. I know it sounds dramatic, but isn’t that how millions of people die?" Said the lamb head.

“They did see me, but they ignored me on purpose.” Said Rahel.

“I know, my child. Let’s listen to some music to temporarily forget about it.” Said the lamb head.

Rahel put on her headphones but played nothing.

“Is that music to you?” Said the lamb head.

“When I can’t hear them, it’s music to me.” Said Rahel

Soon, she fell asleep.