How can this be happening to me? I was out with friends like I normally was.
Why me? It hurts just to breathe and…I’m so cold. My heart feels like someone is taking hold of it and trying to pull it from my chest. Tonight’s events keep flashing before my eyes.
I was partying, remember? Focus on that, only that. Don’t look down at my dress. Pay no attention to blood spreading down my body.
Why was this night any different?
** ∞ * ∞ * ∞ **
Golden tinge, translucent liquid wets my mouth; its acidity assaulting my taste buds with every last drop. My lips pucker the moment it sits on my tongue, urging myself to swallow. 1…2…3…! It burns as it leaves my palate, blazing a trail in its wake down my throat.
“Ah~!” José always burns as it goes down me. Viva Mexico!
Looking around, this party is a bit dead. Dank, dark with a hypnotic tune blaring on the speakers yet only a small group is on the dance floor. Places like these clubs are where I habitually hang my proverbial hat. All the parties, the raves and being around people get me going. I feel alive in a crowd, one in a massive collective of bodies here for drinks, E, fun; an altogether good time.
One thing I can always count on is the beat, as there is always music. It’s an addiction that starts with a single tap in your fingers and toes, bob of your head, shimmy of your shoulders and roll of your hips. Music makes me want to move and once the rhythm gets me, there is no turning back to life, reality, anything outside of that beat.
I grab the nearest warm body to me and pull him towards the dance floor. He doesn’t have much rhythm, neither do most of these nameless faces in this crowd but we all have one thing in common; the need to get in sync with the eternal beat. Once you feel that rhythm deep within your bones, nothing else matters except that.
As I dance, the warmth from Cuervo that starts at my throat is now burning a path through my bloodstream, bursting from my limbs down to my very fingertips with an almost unbearable fire. My head starts to spin, and I feel trapped like this place around me is suddenly stagnant. I need to get out of here.
My limbs are a bit numb as I gingerly walk towards my clubbing posse, using the majority of my focus to walk straight and trying not to appear as tipsy as I feel. I let them know that I am heading to another party or club where I can really move because I’m feeling a bit antsy. Ann, my fellow club hopper, looks at me through glassy eyes full of skepticism and sizes me up with a once over. I know she is in a worse condition than me and if our roles had been reversed, she would be the one earning all of my concern, but I know I can trust her with our group of girls. Ann sees right through my façade, but I know she won’t say anything about my condition because of her own morals towards hypocrisy; she still worries.
“You okay to drive?” Ann asks me when she pulls me close, more to lean on me than the other way around.
She tries her best not to slur and would have been successful if it had not been for her slur on the ‘r’ sound in that last word. I flash her one of my best smiles in response and lightly nudge her just to see her sway a bit and shrug.
“Sure. You know me.”
** ∞ * ∞ * ∞ **
I am always so confident that I’ll be okay but this time is different. Why hadn’t I asked someone to drive for me or even grab a taxi? If I had, I wouldn’t be on this gurney feeling like my lungs are going to explode with each breath.
I didn’t even see the second trailer behind the first one until it started making its wide turn. I was so caught up with the techno rhythm, dancing behind the wheel, closing my eyes for only a second! When the beat revved up for the climax, even then, I didn’t even open my eyes or slow down. The driver of the semi must have seen that I wasn’t slowing down and blared his horn to get my attention; only then I open my eyes, but it was too late for me to stop.
I couldn’t! Suddenly there was a flash and then darkness.
** ∞ * ∞ * ∞ **
“We’re losing her!”
Loud beeping echoes within the small moving enclosure I am in but at this moment, I can’t help but feel a nothingness surround and slowly leech through my body with each rise and fall of my chest.
Blood is everywhere, and I don’t even know who is speaking or why these people are bustling around me. One thing's for sure, they seem to be in a big hurry for something but all I can see was red.
“Her heart rate is dropping dramatically! We need to get to the hospital sooner rather than later!”
I was so cold a moment ago but all of a sudden, I feel numb. Why can’t I feel anything? Everything is getting hazy and the black nothingness is coming closer. All I want to do now is close my eyes and rest…