“I’m gay.”

Elise is staring at me like I've just grown another head right before her eyes and I start to think that this might have been a mistake. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned it. Maybe I should've continued to keep this secret to my self. But it was eating me up inside and I trust Elise, she's my best friend. I start to feel a panic attack coming on when I hear her giggling in the background.

“That’s it?” is all she says after what seems like hours of silence. “What do you mean that’s it? That's very hard for me to say. I never say it out loud, wait  why aren’t you surprised?” I stop myself from rambling on.

“Because I already know that.” She shrugs as if its nothing new and goes back to doing her homework on my bed.

“What do you mean you already know,” she sighs as if she really doesn’t feel like explaining herself, but knows that its better if she does anyway.

“Eli, I love you but not once have you showed the slightest interest in anyone. Hell, when we go out I can get butt naked in front of you and you aren't phased in the slightest bit. At first I thought it was me, that maybe I’m not as attractive as I think I am,” She gets up and starts checking herself out in the mirror. “But I am damn fine,” she giggles. She pulls on the t-shirt that is trying to hide just how thick and beautiful Elise is. Her brown skin is glistening from the rays of light peeping through the window. She winks at me as she hops back onto the bed and starts looking at something on her phone.

I don’t know which is worse, the fact that I made my best friend feel like she’s unattractive or that I worked myself up thinking that this moment was going to go all to shit. Elise and I have been friends since kindergarten when her family moved to suburbs of Chicago. Ever since we were little we would play outside, she lived right next door and was the only friend I really had growing up. When we got older I realized just how lucky I was to have a friend like Elise. Anytime we would get in trouble momma would look into those beautiful brown eyes of hers and forget what she was yelling about. Momma always says she has a beautiful soul. I just hope Elise never forgets it.