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LOWE

Reminiscing: Mid March, Year 983 [17 years ago].

Somewhere in the slums of the Exos Empire.

Back then, I was just scared, living my days covered in dirt and with barely any food to eat,  innocent and happy, well, as any child should be.  Five years old, can barely believe it's been 17 years since that night happened, although it's been so long, the feeling is still vivid inside. Living in the slums of the Empire… I can’t remember how it felt, can’t remember my parents' faces or if I had any friends there. All I remember from my life before are the smell of the slums, that I was always hungry and that night.

That night… It happened in a day like any other, it was raining so heavily, the sound of the rain on the empty alcohol bottles the adults left around, the scent of mud, and the feeling of the cold drops falling on my skin as I held my twin brother's hand and we ran around laughing, carefree to the pains of the world, those are details I particularly remember, perhaps because I clinged to those memories a lot during the next years, the memory of being carefree and happy even in poverty.

Playing in the rain was reckless, we could get sick, and there is no medicine for those forgotten by the Empire. But as stupid young children we didn’t think about the heavy burden we were on our parents. After playing for a while I remember the tender voice of mother calling us in for dinner, by then I should’ve sensed something was wrong, if I did perhaps I could’ve grasped my brother's hand tightly and left before we were hurt for good.

We never had food for dinner, at least from what I barely remember, and the strong scent of meat was something as a five-year-old I had never smelled before. Why would we have meat for dinner when we barely could afford bread? Of course I didn't know that back then. Although the food was probably the best I had until then, I can’t recall the taste. I remember the face of Raphael, my twin brother, though, his small hands grabbing the plate happily and his sweet brown eyes shining with the small happiness we had. Oh, what would I give to go back and preserve that smile just for a while longer.

A brief moment of bliss that was followed by us falling asleep on our father's arms, a memory to save during the nightmare that followed. A nightmare the very source of our warmest memories put us in.

When I woke up, there was only the coldness, there was no sound besides my own beating heart, the limestones were slippery and freezing to the touch, and on my body there were clothes I had never seen before. A gray jumpsuit with a symbol that later on I would kill to never see again. For days I was separated from Raphael, I cried as any child would, thinking I would never see my brother and parents again, well, half of that was  right.

They came early in the morning to give me food and examine my body, then only late at night they would give me water and draw my blood. After a week of that routine I stopped crying, the amount of food they gave me increased, as if they were rewarding me for being a ‘good boy'. After another week passed, I was moved to a bigger place.

Tall walls, and the deafening sound of running water, were the first things I noticed about my new fancy prison cell. There were worn out shelves with thousands of books and twenty beds with thin sheets and mold smelling pillows. I wasn’t the only one that  moved, there were other children there, and amongst them, my brother was there as well. I recall the feeling of my heart clenching and a guilt I didn’t even know where it came from. 

Raphael was in a terrible shape, his eyes were red, his body thinner than what I remembered, in the moment my eyes landed on him, as I entered that room filled with children that were desperately crying, I understood.

My role there, what I had to do and my new goal. 

Undoubtedly now, 17 years later, I cannot say a five-year-old is smart enough to be in such a situation and be able to protect anyone, not even themselves. But I did, from all the children there, I was the only one that stopped crying early on. Perhaps that is the reason why most of them despised me as the years went by. Whatever it was the moving force that made me do what I did, I wouldn’t change a single thing.

Either because there was something wrong or right with me.

I’ve heard both.

The moment I saw my skin and bones brother I knew our parents weren't coming to get us, and if we wanted to be fed we had to act well, like ‘good boys’. So in response to our new environment I started protecting Raphael, hiding him when he cried, coaching him into being silent when adults were in the room and to be a brave boy and let them examine him quietly.

We were both five. How did we even survive through all we did?

To be completely honest, although nowadays I wouldn’t believe a child could go through what we did and remain sane, and most of them didn’t, I am glad differently from the other children, we were there together and had each other’s love to aid us through that hell.

Of course, we aren’t completely sane either.

A twisted sense of self and reality, I believe both me and Raphael will never be able to adapt into a regular society or live like normal people do.

Even if we deeply wish to.

Just later on we would find out the goal of the adults, but that barely mattered, because although our hell was lengthy and painful. We escaped it. We're alive and well.

And that's what matters.

The damp and moldy air of that room will never leave my mind, and the burning feeling of the leather whip on my skin will forever haunt my dreams.

However, I'm alive. My brother is alive.

March 16, Year 1000.

Exos Empire's Palace, Servants’ Wing.

There is safety in routine, and I am most grateful for the days that are just as safe as the ones before. Even before the early birds and the first rays of the sun, I open my eyes. The dark room is familiar and warm, courtesy of the Imperial family being kind to their servants, allowing them to have things as precious as mana stones regulating the temperature of their rooms. Not even a mere commoner could dream of such luxury, but inside the Imperial Palace, this is just common sense, every facility, every corner is engraved with mana stones, symbol of the riches of the Empire and tools that make the everyday easier for everyone.

What are mana stones? Well, they’re as the name suggests, stones with natural mana stored inside of them, such stones can be found all around the world in their unrefined form, however to use the mana inside them you must first refine them, and that’s where the Exos Empire became the powerhouse it is today. They have the monopoly of the refinement of mana stones, and sell them to other countries while buying their rough form cheaply. Due to such, the Empire also leads in terms of any kind of technology, such as carriages powered by mana stones, a state of the art train that moves silently, showers and baths that do not need to be brought from a well or heated in fire, of course the amount of inventions the Magicians of the Exos Empire created during the 1000 years they possess such monopoly are endless. 

Consequently the quality of life in the Empire only became better and better across the years and nowadays even commoners can enjoy a warm shower amidst winter and why the Imperial family is still the  one with the highest approval rate of their people between all the other nations across the world.

That doesn’t mean life is equally good for everyone, commoners still need horses to move around, and nobles still have access to the best of inventions that’ll take decades to reach the overall public, however compared to the only time I stepped in another nation, the Exos Empire is truly the best one to live in. Even with the thousand of problems it faces, including its slavery and power abuse ones. 

Just like any other nation, the Exos Empire also has a glaring problem with its slums, ignored by the commoners and nobles alike, the place where those forgotten lie. I may have forgotten mostly of what it was like, but even if I couldn’t be considered a child of the slums anymore, everyone surrounding me can tell, I am not aware how, but they can.

And that separates me from them, as if I am a plague they cannot get rid of.

After I ran away from the Northern Magicians Tower alongside Raphael, we scrapped by, and learned the hard way how to survive alone, a way we found was to become mercenaries, earn money by committing smaller crimes, well, that would be it if we were even allowed inside the guilds.

We were kicked out, even with being rare commoner magicians or being proficient with the small weapons we used to survive in our path from the North Dukedom towards the Capital, but they said we ‘stink like rats’, meaning we were from the slums. Luckily we were able to be recruited as ‘mules’ by a shady mercenary group which we followed for almost two years.

During that time we suffered, but we were allowed to eat, bathe and sleep, things we never were able to before allowing people to shove tubes inside our mouths or do any other kind of intrusive experiment. So even if we had to carry kilos and kilos of supplies while climbing mountains or be used as bait for monsters of all kinds, it was better than living inside that place. 

Until that day.

The day our ‘boss’ got a strange commission, to kidnap and imprison the Second Prince of the Empire for a few days and then just let the boy go. It was easy money as they said, the ones that did the dirty work were me and Raphael, of course, grabbing the boy from a local tailor was easy, there were no guards or people accompanying him, and later on, his kidnapping was never even reported, there were no news across the whole Empire about the disappearance of the Second Prince.

It was strange, but it was just a job. I never pitied nobles, especially not royalty.

But the hopeless expression of a 14 year-old that knew no one would come for him, was simply heartbreaking, his eyes devoid of expectancy, he was empty, just like the children I had to leave behind inside that Tower. So I opened my mouth, I told him he wasn’t going to die and that he’ll be back home in a few days, to that child I spoke with a kindness I only ever showed my brother.

At the end of his days of captivity I already found myself sad to see the Prince go.

And when we were about to return him to the Palace, he gave me and Raphael the dignity not even his father, the Emperor, would ever do to such kids from the dirty part of the Empire.

‘’Come work for me’’, he said. ‘’The servants of the Palace receive a good salary… And I do not have such a paid company’’, a mix of pity and hope made us accept it. And now, almost four years later, I can say with conviction that was the best choice we ever made, even with all the onus that came along.

Second Prince Nikias Gregor Chrysl is a light that was muffled by pain and neglect, his cage is fancier than mine and Raphael’s, but it's still a cage. He is a kind and forgiving Lord that is used and abused by those who use his loneliness against him, he is in constant pain and explodes as any would in such situations, yet his actions are twisted by those surrounding him and turned into evil acts.

A sigh leaves my lips as I toss the blanket away and get out of bed. The room I share with my twin brother, Raphael, isn’t just warm, but the furniture is well-made and resistant, the blankets don’t smell like mold and the space is enough to provide all the servants with dignity. I walk towards the mirror in front of one of the wardrobes, staring at myself.

During my mercenary days I had a lot of muscles, but now I’m just scrawny, and even have a few spots where fat accumulated such as my arms and belly, contrary to me, Raphael kept his muscles and even grew a few inches on me. But that’s where most of our differences stop, the same sharp shaped light brown eyes, the same well-trimmed eyebrows I do myself, and the messily cut straight short dark brown hair that I also am the one responsible for cutting, the shape of our low-bridged nose, small ears and even the shape of our fingers, everything is identical. Just being a few centimeters taller and a bit more muscular isn’t enough to make people easily distinguish us.

I brush underneath my lips with my fingers, another difference I easily spot between Raphael and me is that I have a few more beauty marks on my face than him, but those aren’t something most people would pay attention to, unfortunately. Especially when just the position and amount is what differs, and most of the spots in my face are covered by my mana.

Why do I hide part of my features with magic to look more like my twin brother? Because this way I could be punished in his stead if the case of such would arise. I do not cover everything, as I cannot manipulate my height or muscles, but just enough that people could easily mistake me for him.

Not that I need it nowadays, and as more and more people differentiate us, it becomes useless to keep this practice from when I was a child, however I still do it. Fearful of the moment this dream-like situation will end.