Read Coin Rush - Series 3 | Tapas Web Community

INT. HOTEL PIZZA - NIGHT

CHEESEBURGER: Cheesy...?

CHEESY: (turns around) Don't ''Cheesy'' me! I'm not happy! And do you wanna know why?

RITA: (leaning, reading a magazine) Lemme guess; You got hacked on twitter?

CHEESY: Wrong. Try again.

SIR DRUNKALOT: You were in a ship, and when it went on the wrong way you forgot to blame the coxswain?

CHEESY: (eye twitching) Try again.

TIFFANY: Um, Cheesy. You alright?

CHEESY: (eye twitches more) Try again.

FIRESLAYER: (jumps out of his seat) Guys. I'm hallucinating right now.

CHEESY: I'm mad because you didn't generate enough money for the Hotel! The whole weekend you were just playing, hanging out, drinking, and doing all sorts of stupid things! Instead of making pizzas and serving hospitality. This is what i hate about you. I hope one day, you become musicians with millions of streams on spotify and i'm not one of them.

I am special in my own way to not need some silly people working at my hotel!

MR. CORN FLAKES BOY: (acting like a businessman) May i disagree to that lash-out? (clears throat) It's not profitability acceptable.

CHEESY: (shouting) You're not profitability acceptable!

RITA: (sighs) Alright lash-baby. Then why don't you manage the hotel yourself!? I'm getting tired of working with a pathetic boss.

CHEESY: And I, Cheesy. Have found a.. Solution to this mess!

CHEESEBURGER: (angry) So you're gonna replace us?!

CHEESY: (patting Cheeseburger) Nope, Not at all my bun-brother.

CHEESEBURGER: (sighs) Thank god.

RITA: (squinting at Cheesy) You said you hated us.

CHEESY: I didn't say ''hate'.

TIFFANY: You said you can survive without us ''idiots''

RITA: You said you are special in your own way to not let ''silly people'' like us work in your ''mature, amazing, magnificent'' Hotel.

Don't say that was a way of coping with frustration because i know that's not true you goofy-looking ringmaster!(turns around) I would rather work at Pizza Inn than this greasly-measly place.

CHEESY: That was a way of coping with frustration.

RITA: (muttering) I knew it.

CHEESY: So, gang. The solution here is you are gonna work through weeks and weekends. No resting, just pizza-making, supplying and old-fashioned accomodiation.

EVERYONE: What?!

FIRESLAYER: (throwing his beer bottle) C'mon Cheesy, you can't be serious!

SIR DRUNKALOT: (banging his head on the floor) Ow, i hate this!

CHEESEBURGER: Cheesy!

TIFFANY: No, No, No, No, No.

CHEESY: I'm serious, alright! And I have no time for quarrels. I got a hotel to manage, salaries to pay, bedtime to sleep and...goodnighty!

CHEESEBURGER: Cheesy, you must be out of your mind. How can you overwork us the whole week and including weekends?! I am a family man, i gotta meet Jess, take care of her...Babysit Jimmy. And you're turning us to workaholics?

C'mon Cheesy,have some mercy.

CHEESY: (already snoring, pulls out napkin) Wait, What?

---

INT. HOTEL PIZZA GARAGE - NIGHT

ADAM DIAGONAL: (on phone) C'mon Donny. I don't have the money yet, I told you; it takes 5 chicks to peel out before earning their sweat!

DON BRUICE: (on phone) Adam, Don't play with me. I'm a mafia boss, you know that right?

ADAM DIAGONAL: Oh-hoho, I sure don't.

DON BRUICE: Then my boys will teach you a lesson.

ADAM DIAGONAL: (sighs) Thank god, I've always wanted to be smashed. Wait are they girls?

DON BRUICE: Nope, men.

ADAM DIAGONAL: (sighs, looking down) Sorry, banana dong.

---

INT. HOTEL PIZZA KITCHEN - NIGHT

TIFFANY: Hey, sis. The night shift thing sucks right?

RITA: (scoffs) Tell me about it. Cheesy just pisses me off sometimes.

TIFFANY: You're not the only one. I, too. But..at least we can have time to do other important night activities, right?

RITA: What night activities? You still do your cheerleading gig at 2 am?

TIFFANY: (light chuckle) Nope. I do Onlyfans and film myself doing it at night, it attracts the simps and i do earn lots of cash, i guess.

RITA: Good for you. I wanted to become a programmer and Computer scientist. But AI is ruining access to those jobs.

TIFFANY: (softer) Hey, don't let AI ruin your dream. Freelancing, that requires a lot of that. And most companies don't want Ai, except Microsoft I guess.

SATYA NADELLA: (walks in) proudly We laid off 15,000 employees this year.

TIFFANY: And Youtube.

NEAL MOHAN: (walks in) Well, the new Youtube AI verification has been added to protect teens under 18 years. So, we used AI for that. If it guesses your age wrong, then I don't know what happens to you, get a Spongebob or Mr. Bean license. Thank you.

(Beat.)

RITA: You contacted them just for this?!

NEAL MOHAN: (checking phone) Well You're 14 years old. You should watch Cocomelon.

RITA: I'm 21 years old, fix your crappy AI.

---

INT. BAR - NIGHT

ADAM DIAGONAL: A banana egg white please!

(sighs)Dammit. (muttering) I must get the cash fast before i get my ass kicked next time.

DON BRUICE: (deep voice) ''Next time''? More like now.

ADAM DIAGONAL: (jumps up, screaming) Ah! (chuckles nervously) Oh, Bruie. We're cool, right?

DON BRUICE: (laughs evilly) Cool, right?! I need my money, In fact i've changed.

I need my money by 6 am,right now it's 3 am. If i don't recieve my money by 3 hours...Then consider yourself dead.

ADAM DIAGONAL: Of course, Donny McTommy. No problemo.

DON BRUICE: I'm leaving, I'll be watching you, Adam. I'll be watching...

(He walks out. Adam drinks his banana egg white in one gulp and faints.)

---

INT. HOTEL PIZZA - NIGHT

FIRESLAYER: (sigh) Nothing beats a good, cold ol' beer after a stressful night.

MR. CORN FLAKES BOY: (running towards them) Well, i guess my business suit got burnt by the fire. So, I would not dress as anyone now.

SIR DRUNKALOT: If i were you, I would make sure i burn that person alive.

MR. CORN FLAKES BOY: Wha-Wha-Wha--?

FIRESLAYER: (chuckles nervously) Don't listen to Knighty-Drunky here. He has drank too much.

SIR DRUNKALOT: You know what?! (spills beer) Netflix has started milking Kpop Demon Hunters into a franchise! They want it to be their ''Frozen'' but they have forgotten it would decline!

MR. CORN FLAKES BOY: (checking nails) Well, Drunkalot. It's business nowadays, if customers are consuming are latest product then give 'em more!

SIR DRUNKALOT: That's how Angry Birds declined!

MR. CORN FLAKES BOY: That's how your nuts declined!

SIR DRUNKALOT: My nuts declined long ago!

MR. CORN FLAKES BOY: Yeah, 'cos their weiners.

(Silence.)

FIRESLAYER: Why didn't I get the joke all along?

SIR DRUNKALOT: I hate overstimulating Tiktok videos like Subway Surfers and Family Guy clips.

MR. CORN FLAKES BOY: They are called ''Sludge Content'' Like Desperate Housewives mixed with a Sonic Boom level.

(5 desperate housewives walk in, while Sonic speeds with them.)

MR. CORN FLAKES BOY: Dosen't make sense, Dosen't it?

---

INT. CHEESY AND CHEESEBURGER'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

CHEESEBURGER: Cheesy, I know this is a stupid question. But why didn't you make me work?

CHEESY: Oh, Cheeseburger. Because your the perfect pickle-bun-bun that i need for a special project.

CHEESEBURGER: (eyes grow) Really?

(Drum roll, lights flash on Cheesy.)

CHEESY: (proud) Saint Columbus!

SAINT COLUMBUS: (walks on stage) You shouldn't have assumed South Park Season 27 would have been bad. Because it's making large controversy and now episodes are forced to come out bi-weekly. America's sensitive.

(Silence. Beat.)

CHEESY: How did this thing turn into a stage?

CHEESEBURGER: You know what, Cheesy. Why did you create a cardboard just to show that i'm special?! Do i not mean...anything to you?

CHEESY: No, lo-i-K- (sigh) I'm sorry, i just lashed out my anger at the gang due to low profits and forced to live up my promise for a solution, but i'm driving them to dangerous insomnia. Rita's right, instead of replacing the cast, I should replace myself.

CHEESEBURGER: Look, Cheesy. Don't beat yourself up for it, you can apologize to them.

CHEESY: (scoffs) They can't accept! In the end, they will hunt me for breakfast. And oh boy, it's gonna hurt.

CHEESEBURGER: Well, I was once a dangerous leader. Strict, Serious, Stern.. But i saw that no one loved and just feared me at work, so I changed for the better. I'm not saying you must change. You can't change someone for who they are, but you can at least apologize to them.

CHEESY: (beaming with pride) That's the Solution! Wait, what did you say again?

---

INT. BAR - NIGHT

(The clock says 5 am.)

ADAM DIAGONAL: Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy! What the hell am i gonna do?!

(sees two ladies,smirks suggestively) If i just give 'em a service, then i'll generate 1 million coins by the end of the day. Who knows? Banana-peeling entertainment is a rich industry...

---

EXT. BAR - NIGHT

ADAM DIAGONAL: (on megaphone) Come one, Come all, To the most gut-busting, tonuge-twisting, banana-enjoying event yet! Line up, Line up and pay 1,000 coins each! Because what's an event without being a ''rip off''?

(Adam performs a chaotic stunt sequence, eventually crashing into the Bank of Cointropolis and getting a bag of 1 million coins. Police surround him.)

POLICE DONUT#1: (holding a gun) Should we shoot?

OFFICER DONUT: Calm down, doc. (spins gun, aims at Adam) We arrest him and-- (shoots a bullet at Adam's hair) Shoot him. Only me, chaps, Only me.

---

INT. HOTEL PIZZA - NIGHT

CHEESY: And...I know i screwed things up a bit, I'm not shy to make amends. I know what i did was unacceptable. I know i was...outright foolish and selfish for my actions. I know i made you work overtime and almost drove you to the brink of insomnia. And crunched you hard, I'm Sorry.

And i'll never do it again.Will you forgive me?

EVERYONE: We accept.

RITA: (red bull cans on the floor) Don't piss with me again, Cheese-ball.

CHEESY: Oh, Rita. You grumpy candy, I--don't know what to say.

FIRESLAYER: Thanks, finally i can go to the bar.

MR. CORN FLAKES BOY: Well played, Cheesy. Pair this with sludge content now.

CHEESY: Starting from now on, I'll update the working hours and management at Hotel Pizza. So let me read the manuscript.

CHEESEBURGER: Aren't manuscripts used for music?

CHEESY: Well, i'm not a songwriter. Wait...where are the rules? Oh, Saint Columbus ate them.

---

INT. COINTROPOLIS PRISON - NIGHT

ADAM DIAGONAL: Well, At least i did my best. Running away from problems, and it's 6 am. Hooray, I'm not getting any calls.