Dear Diary/Journal/Confidante/BFF

What’s left in the end but our bare bones? Not even our hearts will be able to mend from this tragedy that is our destiny. At least that’s what they say about vampires anyway, and honestly we don’t even leave bones behind when we die. Nothing is left in the end. Pure nothingness. A void left behind where we used to be. So what’s the point of it all? I ask myself that every single day… Because it’s all pretty pointless from my perspective. Wake up and repeat the day before, only to one day become nothingness. The world is a lonely place I suppose. 

Though my perspective is probably not the best one here, just ask anyone who knows me. They will say I’m a downer, I’m melancholy incarnate, Mr. Depresso. Which might not be entirely wrong, I’m not a cheerful guy by any means. I just wanna be left alone most of the time, to be free from all the hassle of being a Valentine. Can I fly with the crows? Soar high above the world below? I would do it in a heartbeat if I could. But there are circumstances which won’t let me. 

I feel like they’re all hiding something from me, something everyone else but me knows. I’ve tried asking a million times, and that has done nothing but get me in trouble. They keep me cooped up in the mansion all day and night. I’m not allowed to go anywhere unless it’s with Julian, and only at night. They don’t know that I occasionally sneak out, I mean Jiro knows, but he turns a blind eye. He’s not really family anyway, more like a family friend? I don’t know, he doesn’t seem to fit in anywhere in particular, but he is part of the mansion all the same. 

I can’t write much more tonight. I have places to be. That place happens to be Julian’s birthday and I really don’t want to be there. Wish me luck. Maybe I can hide out somewhere and read more of Dawnlight… I’m dying for Ned and Donna to finally get together.

Until next time. 

Crow. 

PS: I will not wear the ridiculous outfit he bought for me. Does he really think I would wear any kind of colour? Really? Fudge him. 

PS PS: I didn't get him a gift. Ugh, I lie. I actually wish I didn’t get him a gift. (I got him a really nice book online, which I know he won’t appreciate at all so why do I try?) 

PS PS PS: Fudge him.