DISARMED KNIGHT.

Maybe you'll forget me when night falls, maybe I'll forget you when dawn breaks, but if I were to remember you at dusk, I've realized that one shouldn't lie, I want to live off the promises of yesterday, I don't want to follow the present; not when you're not in the…

I'm crying knowing that it's risky for us to be together, maybe I should do something, ¿wouldn't it be better if you fell in love with a man? Only then would our love never have started, our love has no home: it walks the streets like a beggar… Please love me!!!

Although it's not that I miss your heart, but it's that by your side I learned the meaning of pain; You will never be able to forget the way I allowed your body to freeze to death, or to experience infernal heat, you will never be able to forget that I loved you like I never imagined, missing your skin centimeter by centimeter, discovering the curve of your waist, the firmness of your breasts and that expression you put on when you ask me for more, more and more…

Seeing how your hand fits with mine as if they were made to walk to the end,  ¿is what I am feeling meant to be? I know you have never loved the wrinkles in your eyes when you smile, but I want you to know that I love them infinitely, I do not want to apologize if the words that you do not want to hear come out of my mouth, but I do it because you are the one who adds all those white lies that hide behind that overwhelming, indomitable and lying personality, all those excuses are the secrets that I keep, although for me they do not make any sense, if they come from you I will believe them because I may not be the only one for you, but for me You will be my world, if you would just turn around you would notice that you are perfect for me, I would let you know and you would come running to my arms again and again until all the bad memories disappear from your memory and you let me love you with my heart on my sleeve, because keep in mind that I do not easily open my heart to anyone, but if it is you I am helpless, I must kneel and ask for mercy because my soul only recognizes you.

He will never love you half as much as I love you, and he will never treat you right darling, but if you want that kind of love, I will back off, let him through and accept my defeat like a loser, but I let you know that I am here for you, maybe you will decide to love me with the same intensity with which I love you.

¿Does he know that you live constantly in my mind and that I think about you all the time? ¿Does he know how hard it is for me to accept defeat while he sleeps in the same bed as you…?

Princess, I miss you, I never thought I would feel this way, it seems like I have humiliated myself so many times and yet you don't see me… ¿DO YOU THINK OF ME WHEN YOU SLEEP?

If you keep taking advantage of me continuously, you would be breaking my heart by staying away at night.

THEN ¿WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? 

You know how I feel, you know that you are the one I believe in, TELL ME A LIE AND I WILL BELIEVE IT!...

¿Don't you see that I need you to live? You know that it is true that every time I see your face the past hurts me, you are the only one and I want to tell you that you are driving me crazy, answer my calls ¡PLEASE!

I would do anything to help you understand that you don't know what you're doing to me by holding his hand, and every now and then I lose control and end up calling you drunk at 3 in the morning... I don't believe in religions, but here I am asking in a prayer that you come back to me, life is nothing on its own.

I want you by my side and you can't see it, you are a gift to me and every day that passes and I don't have you I lose control, it's not me, I don't want you to see me with my hands stained with blood when you still haven't been able to erase from your mind the pain I caused you, but maybe you should know that there is no one when I say your name, only the echo that resonates in the walls.

 The nights are colder without your warmth, without your angelic gaze and without your slow breathing, but if I could I would let you know that I'm sorry and that I need you here with me.

But you keep taking advantage of my heart and I don't know if I can fix it from all the damage we've done to each other, but when you cry I get weak and I have to disappear, because I don't want you to see my weakness, not like this, not that way, I'm there for you but you're not there for me and even though I thought everything was okay between us, every night your voice goes around in my head and I think about all the things I could have done and everything I haven't said, I promise I'll make it up to you!

Time has passed, but I realize how much I miss you, I want you back, I can't accept defeat, if there's a loser here it's surely him... because  YOU ARE MINE…