DANGEROUS ELYSIUM

INTRO

Deceit. Betrayal. Duplicity. Shameless dissimulation. All equally painful. All bare judgement. In the eyes of some they are merely just words. But in the heart of one...they are hell. They are hurtful. Cruel. Ruthless. Truculent. Unmerciful and brutal. How could anyone who has been any of that love? Does love change a person? Or maybe the right question is. Can that person ever be changed by love?

The intentions at first were cruel. Blinding even, but the fact remains Love really does conquer all. Once a blinded heart had had the veil on life ripped away and all he could see was him. All he could feel was warmth. All he ever wanted was him. Something's in life are just like that, cruel and beautiful. Can a name alone become a word that depicts deceit and love? because if it can then Sharna will forever be a name that means just that. Deceitful love. Painful love. Or just Love. Though, it has a solemnity and more of a permanence to it than most other words that would describe the feeling of being overwhelmed by a feeling so powerful that deceit and even betrayal cannot coexist alongside love. Or maybe once upon a time it did.

So you are probably wondering who I am or why I'm telling you this? Well that's because I fell in love with betrayal. I fell for a guy who would pretend to be someone when deep down in the darkest parts of him was a guy who just needed someone. Someone to tell him that it really isn't that bad and you can change. People change all the time. I guess you could say...that eventually change is inevitable and life is hard. We've all said and done things we can never take back.

This is my story. Of betrayal. Deceit. Pain and love.

To fall in love is also to fall out of it. One heart, two hearts, then three. What's true? What's not? They say its better to have loved than to never have loved at all, but is that really true?

There is a smile of love, And there is a smile of deceit, And there is a smile of smiles In which these two smiles meet…..….William Blake.

DANGEROUS ELYSIUM

PART ONE

OLIVER

"On a winter's night when the wind is howling and the snow falls relentlessly. He stands amongst the shadows hoping for a resolution that may or may not come. He stands and he waits for hope...maybe? Or maybe he stands waiting for it all to end so he can walk free from the shadows as a pretend hero. He drops his arms and he paints a smile of a pretend hero and he collects his badges of honor. Then you think….how could you sleep at night when you watched everyone around you die and you did nothing? Well….he closes his eyes and pretends he can, when inside he's slowly consumed by guilt. He lies and he lies well….."

"Can I stop you there Sharna?" The teacher spoke as I stared at the man who does indeed lie and he lies very well. Sharna is one of those pretend heroes. So is his brother. They paint pretty smiles and everyone around them falls at their feet as if they're gods walking through fields of gold. Empty. That's what they are. Empty bodies….or maybe empty doesn't do their wickedness justice. Evil. I guess Evil is probably more accurate and I'm probably the only person here who doesn't fall. They are nothing but plastic smiles, with equally plastic hearts and black souls. "Thank you Sharna, you portray Edwin's thoughts perfectly. He was indeed a fake hero. Now I'd like the rest of you to write a short essay on why you think Edwin acted this way ...." The rest of class sigh and moan along with Sharna. "Now don't worry guys, this will not be on the final exam. I'd like to get your thoughts on why. Maybe you could put yourself in Edwin's shoes. Anyway, class is dismissed. Enjoy your weekend and I want the essays on my desk by next friday."

"Morgan, let's go out drinking later?" I can't remember the girl's name. But she always sits next to Morgan. Always by his side, but you can see he has zero interest in her. She's just another plastic smile. They all are.

I turned in my seat and stuffed my notes in my bag when a hand hit the desk next to me and I looked up to see Morgan looking down at me. "What do you want?"

"Nothing."

"So why in the hell are you standing there like some kind of demigod?"

He grins, showing a mouthful of pristine white teeth. "Demigod. Never heard that one before," he sniggers. Disgusting. "Wanna come out for drinks?" He whispered.

"Not with you." Morgan exudes an icy, deadpan power as he unashamedly manipulates everyone around him. You could say his performance is subtle and controlled that no one seems to notice. But I know.

"Oooh. Still trying to keep that V card?" He mocks. Again trying to get to me.

"My private life has fuck all to do with you. Now leave me alone."

"Fine. Sure," He stood straight and held his hands up in some kind of helpless gesture and I got death glares from most sitting near me. Don't fucking care though. "Come on Sharna. Let's blow this pop stand and enjoy our weekend unlike this guy." He points to me and walks away. Like a leaf, a dead falling leaf. Well dead inside. But like most of the people here you stare, at what exactly? Then I felt my throat go dry as two amber eyes pin my own.

"..Sharna." I whispered with an almost venomous hiss. He smile's. Did he hear me? He couldn't have. Then slowly he opened his mouth and said something. Not for any other ears but his own and I didn't need to hear him to know exactly what he said. 'Oliver.' And with a slip of his tongue running smoothly across his top lip I heat up. Disgusting. I hate them...I hate him. Yet my body deceives me. Reacting merely to my name almost unspoken, yet pounds like bass drums across my skull. I needed to get out of this damn classroom. I had to get away from this campus. So I pulled my phone from my pocket and messaged the only person I care about.

Me: Need out. DESPERATELY!!!

Shoving my phone back in my pocket I grabbed my bag and I left as fast as I could. Away from here. If I could sprout wings and just fly far away I would and I'd never look back. I'd go home. Probably stare down at my very own doom. Like I was so prone to as a child growing up….the way I did. I would peer down at the waters below. The tumultuous waves lulling me in, ready to devour me at a moment’s notice. The autumn gales would pull me forth, demanding that I go through with the deed, despite common sense telling me not to. But I'd see the chaos beneath the surface, though I knew the waters’ harshness would turn to gentle ripples, no matter how much it protested. I knew, because if I squinted my eyes, I could see peace. Instead I'd walk away…."What?" I whispered and came to a jarring stop. I looked around and saw no one, but I could hear the faint echo of keys...notes, being played. Soft. Melancholic. I followed the sound and came up to a room that was once used as the main music room, until they built a new music department on the campus. It has better acoustics, apparently. But my ears don't deceive me. Someone was in here and playing a piece of music I've not heard in a very long time. A song my mother used to play before she passed away. "Water ripples." I moved and slowly pushed open the door and was confronted by a demon. "...why are you playing that?"

"Why not?" Sharna, of all people. Why him? "It's beautiful…." He replied, turning to face me.

"Don't say that," I bit. "Not from your mouth…."

"And why not?"

I gulped, feeling my skin grow hot and my chest swell with anger, maybe also sadness. "You don't deserve to speak about anything beautiful. You burn anything that's beautiful…."

"Do I? Really?"

"What?" I gasped and moved forwards. Yet he just watched me. "....you…"

"I'm what...Oliver?"

"Nothing," I hissed and went to move away from him. "Just...nothing…"

"You hate me, right?"

I stopped to look at him, his amber eyes once again burning through me, like he could see straight through me and see all my pain. All my hurt. All my anger and sadness. "...I think you can find a better word for hate."

"I'm sure I could, Oliver…"

"Don't say my fucking name!" Then I quickly slammed a hand over my mouth.

"Can I take you to dinner? Perhaps?"

I shook my head, trying to shake his words from my pounding skull. "No."

"No? Are you sure?"

"Fuck you. You sick piece of shit…."

"Such animosity. You surprise me, I would never have thought someone like you could speak such...vulgar words. What was it? Me playing the piano or maybe…." He paused and slowly started walking towards me. Of course I backed away, I mean why wouldn't I? Yet I also felt myself falling? Was I falling? And my heart almost stopped beating. I could only stare back as this man stood up straight and tall. "....you actually like this piece of shit standing just inches from you?"

My hands start shaking. My throat goes dry. "I...I don't like you, never have…" Then my words twist in my throat. It feels like a vice on my windpipe.

"I see. So fragile yet so….perfect."

"....perfect?" He smiled at me in some kind of disbelief. A wry laugh escaped his lips and he looked away from me.

Then those eyes were back, more intense. "If you ever looked at me once with what I know is in you, I would be your slave."

His voice was low and deep, a rugged whisper. I recognized the tone of his voice. He talked like this ten years ago when...I don't want to think about it. "....what…"

"Emily Brontë, kinda sweet don't you think?" He replied with a small laugh. But the look in his eyes didn’t seem to quite match his light-hearted words.

If you knew Sharna which you should do, I'd explained enough already, you'd know sweet wasn't his best asset, I guess. Yet his words confused me. "I...I don't understand…"

"Never mind. I'll see you around Oliver." And just like that he was gone, but his lingering scent still smothered me. Suffocating me as I stood there. Then it was quiet in the suffocating heat of the room. My chest aches like my heart had fallen out. 

"Sharna," I whispered his name. "You are….so cruel." I took a deep breath when my phone caught me by surprise and I fumbled stupidly for the damn thing to see a message.

Raine: I'm outside, hurry up and get out here.

Me: I'm on my way.

Pulling myself together I flee from the room to see Morgan smiling at me from across the hall. And fuck you too, I thought and ran. Ran like the idiot I am, the idiot I've always been. When I finally made it outside and I took another deep breath, I forced my eyes shut, but all I saw was him. I saw his face and his lying smile. I saw his open shirt. I saw his lips come closer to me. Then I imagined him touching me, putting his hands on me, breathing on my neck and whispering words in my ear. It was a cruel fantasy. Cruel and brutal. Maybe….no, Sharna wasn't the only liar. Only my lies hurt just me. I'm lying to my heart and I'll always lie to my heart until one day it believes my lies and I can finally forget. Forget everything.