if I could go back in time and erase a few things I would definitely erase that day and everything that happened...yes that day is the only thing I would erase because that's when everything changed.
On my last day as a senior in high school, I made the mistake of confessing to Miyagi Hasan. A boy whom I had a crush on since the 9th grade. I gathered up all my courage to confess to him simply because I knew if I got rejected I would run away and start afresh.
"I like you Miyagi"
"I said I like you. I really do"
"You... like me?"
"No, actually I love you"
When Miyagi heard those words I could tell he was really shocked. He didn't know what to do or say next and neither did I. So like fools, we stood there and avoided eye contact.
"To think that you would like me, am really surprised. What was your name again?"
"My name is Myung"
"You know I actually always noticed that you stared at me weirdly but I always thought it was jealousy or anger maybe because I was cool or I dated your girlfriend but to think it was LOVE"
Miyagi started to laugh and as if I wasn't already uncomfortable I felt humiliated too.
"Hey since you love me so much why don't you give me a blow job and maybe, just maybe I could consider your confession"
I was a fool to believe Miyagi but I was so young and naive at that time. Miyagi had always been good with words and it was no surprise that he played me like that.
I followed him to his home and gave the best head I could ever give even though I was inexperienced. The blow job didn't bother me as much but it was the response I got that broke my heart
"Wow, that was amazing and gross at the same time Myung. To think you're actually gay. Give me your number and I'll call you when I feel like it again.