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Embracing Love.

Heartless

Heartless

Feb 03, 2019

Heartless. That's what everyone calls me, and I suppose I am. I learned at a young age not to let people near me, near my heart. My parents died when I was young in a car accident. None of my relatives could take me in so I went into foster care and learned quickly to not get too attached to anyone. Once I turned 18 I got an apartment and a job at a grocery store, things are fine. When I was younger I practiced and practiced putting a smile on my face, I would sit in the mirror until I got the expression just right until my face went numb. When I grew up though it complicated things for me, if I was smiling people thought I wanted to talk to them even when I didn't so my smile mask changed into a blank slate. I didn't show emotion, I couldn't. I couldn't let people behind my mask and see what bothered me. I'm done being hurt so I'll never let anyone in again.

No one talked to me anymore and that's the way I liked it, at work the only times people talk to me is about work. New people make the mistake only a couple times before they learn I have nothing to say to them. All the regular customers know how I am, and while I know it's not the best customer service it's just how I have to be.

"Alex! I need your help with this really quick please!" my boss, Ryan says to me. I guess I had been day dreaming and I looked over to what he was working on. He and I had the most experience in our department, I should be his assistant, but I have no ambition. Things didn't need to change, they were fine. 

"Alex please." He says, clearly annoyed that I hadn't responded yet.

"Alright Ryan, what do you need?" I asked.

"I need your advice on how to fix the counts on the cigarettes, I can never remember how to find it in the program." 

I walk over and explain to him how to find it for the 20th time, and wrote him some notes so he could find it himself without having to ask me again. 

"Oh, thank you! I have to go write next weeks schedule, can you watch the department for me?" he asks.

"...Ya sure" I say, he always asks me even though he's my boss, he really should just tell me but he never does. He's attractive I guess, wavy brown hair and green eyes, I think he must work out a lot because he's pretty buff and the rest of the managers here are on the chubbier side. 

The day goes by quickly at that point, a side bonus of running the department even though I have to talk to more people than I normally would. I'm finally walking up to my apartment when a girl runs up to me and give me a huge hug. I look the girl in the face and try to see if I recognize her and I don't, so I grab her shoulders and take her arms away from around my back.

"What are you doing?" I ask. I really don't like people touching me, but just in case she was running from someone and needed help I didn't want to just walk away.

"I'm sorry! I'm just so excited! I just moved in to the apartment right next to yours! We're neighbors!" she says excitedly.

"Oh...alright. I guess I'll see you around then." I say my face melting back in to my emotionless mask. This is just some dumb girl, she'll learn about me soon enough. She'll start avoiding me just like everyone else. She'll call me heartless too.

cynthiajo20
Vano

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Heartless

Heartless

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