Humility, not hubris. If you act with humility, you will be praised, but hubris will surely bring you to overpromise yourself and others, ultimately bringing shame upon yourself. ~Grandma 2005
5, 4, 3… 2… one! And Eli dropped the eyeball she was dissecting onto the metal plate with a plop!
“I’m out y’all!” She shouted, as she dropped the eyeball she was dissecting onto the metal plate with a plop and dashed out, the door slamming neatly behind her dark ponytail.
“What’s up with Eli?” asked Kyle, diligently continuing to remove the membrane from the other eyeball. “She’s missing out on all this cornea action over here.”
“She’s getting a special package.” Janelle smirked as she likewise worked on peeling away the layers of the left hand.
“Well, she could have at least cleaned up properly. Chuck deserves better than that for donating his body for our edification.” They both glanced at the thoroughly desiccated, moderately obese corpse laying out on the metal table.
“Good old Chuck.”
It sat on Eli’s bed in a pink plastic sack. She had expected it to come in something classier. Maybe in a velvet pouch or a plush box like the kind you put expensive jewelry in. From the outside, Eli might have guessed that this was a serving of Soylent targeted at the lady’s market as they’re uselessly wont to do these days.
But alas, the truth was far more desirable to women. Eli sat on her knees on the bed, and after a few deep breaths, finally worked up the guts to tear open the top of the package to reveal one hot pink glans.
“Yes!” She finally let her excitement escape her after sitting on the edge of her seat for this moment all day. She removed the full toy from its cheap home to reveal it in its full glory. A full 8 inches of genuine silicon sat in her trembling palms. Now that it was in front of her face, it was bigger than she remembered it appearing on the website. Guess they make ‘em bigger in China than they say. Eli smirked to herself but decided to proceed anyway. After all, the girls in the videos take much larger.
She got out a bottle of lube from a secret bin under her bed, released a healthy dollop onto the toy, and spread it down the shaft evenly with her grip. Satisfied with the coverage, she brought it to her lips and gave it a healthy lick. Eh… not exciting. Eli looked down at the toy disappointedly. She didn’t know what she thought she expected, but silicon tasted like silicon after all. Perplexed by why women would taste toys with such zeal, Eli decided to abandon this route of self-titillation and move right onto the main event.
Laying up against her stuffed hippos Charlie and Cher, she positioned herself with her legs spread just enough to reach her bits. Comfortable, she slowly brought the still slick toy up toward her lower lips and pleasured the slick entrance. She moaned. The touch reminded her of Haley, the way she used to gently tease her, the way her lips felt. Those were the good memories. Tonight, she didn’t want to remember the bad ones. The ones where the kind, beautiful, and intelligent that had been her first love, and whom she had waited for half a decade for, had betrayed her.
Eli and Haley had been high school sweethearts. As both chose to go to uppity pretentious colleges on opposite sides of the country, Haley and Eli were in a long-distance relationship for a long time. Just last year, the both finally came back to their hometown—Eli to start med school, and Haley to take a break before jumping into a job with a local design company. Who knew on their 5-year anniversary, Eli would walk in with a special ring in hand to the sight and sound of Haley screaming in pleasure while spread eagle with Osten, the philosophy professor’s son. The worst part was that, while it was evident that all parties realized what was going on when Eli walked in, it took another full 5 minutes for the shameless adulterers to finish before they even bothered to react to the innocent intruder.
Afterwards, Haley’s only response consisted of a single text: “Osten’s gay.” They haven’t spoken since.
Shaking off the bad mojo of her past, Eli lined the toy up with her entrance and pushed hard. “AHH!” She screamed in pain. It was too damn huge, and however she pushed, she couldn’t anything past the very tip of the glans of the mother-fucking toy in.
After a period of struggle, Eli glared with seething rage down at the wet toy on her sheets. Whoever said that bigger ones felt better could go fuck themselves on a rake. Or maybe I just have a tight pussy. She mused. The boys would like that, if Eli ever bothered to date one. Girls were more her style.
But never one to give up so easily, Eli wanted to give it one last shot. She sat up the toy vertically on her bed, and prepared to jump on it, intending to condense the pain in one fell swoop and let gravity bring her down on top of the toy. She came down perfectly, felt the tip penetrate her… and that was all she could take before the pain shot through her spine, and she panicked. Falling backwards, her vaginal tipped the toy with force, sending it flying into the window.
When Eli recovered, she looked up to see a sticky wet patch on her window, and the deviously innocent pink toy on the ground where it landed—wet like a freshly newborn baby.