Emerson Scott knew he was different from his peers, he knew from the wandering of his eyes in the boys locker rooms to the passing thought of coition. And then the ‘incident' five years ago that alter the course of his life.

Emerson's gaze were glued to the front of the class, his chin resting on his palm, Anyone who look at him would think he was engrossed in the lecture being given by the math’s teacher, but they would be so far from the truth.

Emerson's eyes were glued to the silver hair at the front roll, not knowing what it was about him that had his eyes lingering, having his eyes fixated on him since the first day he got introduce to the class last year as the new kid and he couldn’t seem to know why he often found himself mesmerized by the beauty William Gray.

William having a lean athletic build with defined muscles that hint at physical activity, his sliver hair fell loosely around his face and shoulders giving his already pale complexion an angelic look, his amber eyes had been what caught Emerson attention when he had first seen him, not his sliver hair or pale skin or his striking beautiful appearance but those eyes of his which seem to lock Emerson in place. They had a slight almond shape, framed by long lashes that further added to his beauty.

Emerson had been captured by those eyes ever since and had always found his gaze wandering back to him.

For the past one year that William Gray had been admitted into his high school, Emerson had watched him from afar like the freak he knew he was. He could never bring himself to speak to him although he had often found William holding or returning those lingering gaze, but Emerson couldn’t help but feel uneasy.

“Dude, you should totally ask her out.” Mason said.

“What?” Emerson asked, becoming aware of his surrounding.

It was lunch and Emerson was seated with his best and childhood friend Mason River. They grew up together, did everything together and were inseparable. Mason was your typical jock, he had blonde short hair and blue eyes, narrowed nose and thin lips with a muscular build and stood about 5.9 ft in height.

“Emma” Mason said gesturing toward William’s table. “You’ve been staring at her all month, you should ask her out”

Emerson turn his head back towards William’s table, Emma was seated beside him, he noticed how she whispered into William ear and he erupted with laughter raising one hand to cover his mouth in the most elegant manner Emerson had the pleasure of seeing, several strands of silver locks falling over his face. He watched transfixed and unable to look away as William pulled them behind his ear.

As if sensing eyes on him, William turned and caught Emerson’s gaze. Emerson as always was captivated by his beauty as time seems to stand still, a low smile appeared on William’s lips catching Emerson by surprise with a wink.

Emerson tore his eyes away like he had been burned, his heart palpitating, he couldn’t have wink at me. He thought focusing back on his friend who was looking at him expectantly.

“What…?”

“So?” Mason pressed.

“So what?”

Mason rolled his eyes “So are you going to ask her out?”

“Who? Emma? No…I mean she is pretty but she not my type.”

Mason narrowed his eyes at him “And what’s your type?”

Emerson shrugged, glaring at his tray.

“No way man, how could you not like that! I mean LOOK at her.”

Emerson ignored his friend and picked up a piece of apple placing it between his lips.

“At least tell me you want to bang that ass.”

Emerson shrugged again sucking the apple into his mouth and munching on it. Mason was getting exasperated with Emerson.

“Come on, you have to pop that cherry of yours…” Mason pause giving Emerson a once over before firing “If you don’t like her then why have you been staring at her for the past month?”

Emerson hadn’t been staring at Emma but at William and seeing as they were friends and always together Mason must have mistake it for the other.

Having no way to reply his friend without compromising himself Emerson shrugged again.

“Dude.” Mason exclaim, nudging his shoulder “You definitely want that ass.”

The rest of the day had passed with little to no activity, Emerson had tried stopping himself from staring at William but was proven difficult. Sooner than Emerson would have liked, the bell rang signaling the end of the day.

Benjamin, Emerson younger brother had texted him saying he was leaving with his friends and with not Rugby practice today Emerson had no choice but to go home.

Emerson dreaded coming home, to the condescending look from his father it was where his thoughts came alive, where those voices that eat away what was left of him grew louder.

Closing his door behind him, he slowly made his way to his bed dropping his bag along the way. Emerson was suddenly consumed with despair, the invisible weight ever-present making it’s self know as he sank into his bed fully clothed, his covers rapped tightly against his body.

Emerson’s thought took him back today, he had briefly thought about William when Mason had asked who his type was, Emerson did not know if he regarded him in that way, what he did know was that he was attracted to him in way he couldn’t comprehend, or so he thought.

That’s disgusting

Emerson coiled in on himself as he whispered.

“Yeah, it’s disgusting, I’m…disgusting.”