I fucking hate college parties. Why did they bring me here? Of all the places that Anna could have hidden me, it was here.
It was too loud. There were always too many people.
"Finally," I sighed finding a table with some beers.
I just needed a drink. Just one. Was I old enough? Not here in Indiana. I'm 18 though.
Walking through the crowds of people, I tried to find a dark corner to stuff myself into until I could leave. I probably could have left at any point, but I didn't have any real destinations in mind. It was either that shit-hole abandoned apartment I had found and had been staying in for a while, or back to... him.
Shaking my head, I took a drink and started walking again before someone roughly bumped into me. The drink I was using to pull me through this place spilled onto a guy leaning against a wall.
"Oh fuck dude, I am so sorry," I looked up at him in a panic, and as soon as we made eye contact, the breath was knocked from my lungs.
I had never seen a man like him before. His hair was a light blonde, done in a braid that came just below his collar line. His eyes were a deep green, with gold around the pupil.
"It's all good, my guy, shit happens," he laughed out, grabbing my shoulder.
Quickly moving away, I did my best not to look disgusted at the touch of a stranger.
"Sorry," he pulled back, "Let me ask ya something," he took a drink and smiled down at me.
"What," I muttered.
I just want to get away from you.
You're too much.
This is too much.
You're too beautiful.
Please I don't need more trouble
Thoughts thundered through my head and I gulped when he took a deep breath.
"Who the hell let you in here? You look like a kid! Shit, you probably are a kid!" he laughed out, biting his bottom lip before continuing, "Don't worry about spilling it on me, shit happens. Anyways... how did you get in here?" his tone was full of curiosity, and he leaned against the wall, his eyes twinkling in the dim lighting.
"Oh... That's a long story. That I won't be sharing, but I know people," I took a deep breath, before taking another drink.
I didn't want to, but I couldn't take my eyes off him. He was mesmerizing. I can only remember one person who had made me feel this way this quick, and I had to shake my head to chase the thoughts of him out of my head.
He started to laugh, a deep-throated twinkling sound that made me jump.
"'You know people' hmm... okay, well, I have to say that I am jealous of anyone who has the pleasure of knowing you," he winked and finished his drink before looking at me again, "Hey, I know that we haven't had much of a conversation but it's a bit stuffy in here, why don't we head outside? My car is parked out there. We can sit on the hood and look at the stars," he took a step forward, his voice as gentle as possible.
Taking a small step back, I grabbed the sleeves of my coat and started picking at them. He was intriguing, and I couldn't lie and say he wasn't attractive, but being alone with another man after everything that happened was nerve-wracking.
On the other side... I spilled my drink on him... he just wants to talk to me.
Looking up at him, I took a deep breath before nodding, "Alright, that... uh... yeah that sounds good. It's too loud here anyways," finishing my drink, I set the glass on the shelf behind him, I giggled quietly when I realized he was nervous.
A faint blush covered his cheeks, and he gulped, "Shit dude I just realized. What's your name? It'd be weird talking to you without knowing your name," he softly grabbed my hand and dragged me through the crowds.
He was over a head taller than me, acting as my own personal shield as he pulled me through the party, my focus fully on the roughness of his hand. It was covered in callouses and as I gently traced one of them with my finger he responded by rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb.
"It's Adrian but... you can just call me Addi," I smiled at him.
"Addi... I like that... It's fitting," he smiled as well, a bright one that spread across his entire face.
As we walked outside, my mind drifted to one particular thought. I couldn't remember the last time I had given someone my last name. I had been conditioned that the only thing that mattered was my first name. My last name was never to be given to anyone or they would find my identity and realize how young I actually was.
I looked up at my newfound "friend" and realized there was an air of tension flowing off him in waves. Slowly, I ran my finger over his hand again and he squeezed in response.
"That's my car right there," he pointed to an older musting as soon as he got outside.
"Nice car."
"Come on!" he hopped up on the hood and held his hand out to me.
Hestiantly, I reached out and let him pull me onto the hood of the car as I took a deep breath, letting the crisp, cool air fill my lungs and calm my nerves.
"It was my dad's. Got in a wreck a few years ago. I had to rebuild her," he smiled, but the tone of his voice didn't match the expression he was trying to use.
Nodding my head slowly, I froze when he threw his arm around my shoulder. Outward, positive forms of affection were foreign to me, something I had never experienced and I had to take a deep breath to calm myself.
"You still haven't told me your name," I whispered.
"It's Lucas. Lucas Williams. Call me Luca," he smiled brightly, before pulling me closer and sighing, "Did I say something wrong? If this is a 'wow his parents must love him' kind of thing then don't be sad because like I said this car is basically all I have. My parents died when I was a kid and my brother... He pretends that it never happened. Shit. I didn't mean to share my whole life story. It's the alcohol."
I couldn't fight down the laugh that escaped me, "It's fine, I’d rather listen to you, than drag someone else into my bullshit of a life," softly sighing, I finally met his gaze again, "My dad is shit too, my mom just simply doesn't care, and all my siblings moved out years ago. Not that I'm living at home," groaning, I covered my mouth.
I hated sharing personal details people always worried, even though it wasn't their business. I felt that I was an adult and the choices I made for my life were my own, it was no one's business.
"I mean you are staying somewhere right? Someone is looking after you?" he squeezed me tightly, stress seeping into his voice.
I wanted to pull away, I wanted to get away, but he looked so desperate I froze, "I'm not homeless, I have an apartment," I sighed, "okay... so it's not mine and it's sort of abandoned, but I still live there," fiddling with my sleeves again, I broke eye contact looking to the ground.
"Oh, so squatting. That's worse. If I've said anything offensive then I'm sorry. I know I don't have the right but I am worried about you. It's just the kind of person I am, ya know?" He moved his arm away from me and took a deep breath, "Sorry," he leaned back on the hood, tossing one of his arms over his face.
I wanted to know what he was thinking, why my plight was making him upset. We were strangers, we had met less than an hour ago, so the idea of him caring was foreign and confusing to me.
I could tell he was on edge so I poked him in the side, "Hey, why are you so worried anyway. You don't know me," I mumbled.
"It's your eyes. You haven't slept properly in a long time. You're really thin. You just... look beaten down," he sighed, still hiding his face from me, "Listen if you wanna head back inside, go ahead. I feel bad now. Opening my big mouth always gets me in trouble."
Sighing softly, I looked back up at the sky. This reaction was the entire reason I never shared my life with people. They always worried, and tried to put their noses in business that wasn't theirs to be a part of.
Taking a deep breath, I poked him again before replying, "Back to that mayhem of butt-grabbing? No thank you! I'd rather stay here with someone interesting like you."
I wasn't sure why I had told him that, but he had a dazzling smile, and I felt guilty for taking it away. This random man, this stranger had been kinder to me than anyone had been since I met Anna. I wanted to fight it down, but I couldn't, a crooked smile finally gracing my face.
Lucas laughed a little at me and finally moved his arm so I could see his face. The smile on his face was too bright again but what shocked me was his reaction. He froze, sitting up quickly.
"What...," I leaned back. I wanted to break eye contact, I wanted to look anywhere but at him, but his eyes drew me in and I couldn't break away.
"Your smile..."
"What about it?" I closed my mouth quickly. My smile was crooked, my chipped tooth a reminder of a mistake I had made and I didn't like people seeing it.
He licked his lips slowly and reached for my cheek. The warmth flowing from his palm shocked me, and the callouses felt calming on my face, "You have such a beautiful smile," he breathed out smiling at me again.
"I... what... no... really," I sputtered, my cheeks heating up quickly.
No one had called me "beautiful" before. It was unwelcome.
Stop it.
Stop making my heart race.
Don't do this to me.
My thoughts cascaded through my head as panic filled my throat. I could stuff my emotions down. It's what I had been taught to do. I took another deep breath and started studying his face. Freckles spread across his cheeks, along with his nose. He was the most beautiful person I had ever laid eyes on, far more attractive than me and that realization added to the confusion I felt.
"I mean... yeah... you're.... beautiful.," I heard him mutter out, my breath catching in my throat, my eyes widening in shock.
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