When I was in the third grade I had my first crush. He was a cutie. Big blue eyes and light blonde hair. We played at recess we did our work together. The teachers new. My classmates new. My family new. 

In middle school I had my first boyfriend. He was a cutie. Big blue eyes and light blonde hair. We went to the middle school dances. We texted all night. He was my best friend. He was my first love. 

The year before I went to high school I had my first heart break. He was still a cutie. A cutie that acted like I never existed. A boy that erased me from his life. 

Freshman year of high school I saw him happy.

Senior year of high school I watched him graduate with a long legged blonde girl standing next to him.

Off to college now.

Why can't I just 

let

it

go.