I don't remember when it all started, my mind feels like it's been submerged in deep murky waters with chains anchoring me further into the bottomless pits. I guess it began when I saw those shadowy creatures with empty eyes, following me everywhere. Under the floorboards, outside the window panes, even seeping through the thinnest cracks of this old home of mine. I tried to ignore it -to look away from those creatures. But they were everywhere. Just like parasites, draining the host of every last bit of life in me. I didn't do anything about it, about them, because they weren't real... right?

This loose grip that I had with my mind to sort things through, to identify what was real and what was fake. To be able to brush off those soulless eyes watching me. It started cracking and I couldn't do anything about it, I was nothing but a spectator to my inevitable demise and loss of sanity. It must have been days, weeks, months even but I know it was just mere hours. They started making those horrible tapping noises. A constant tap.

 

 

I tried turning up the volume of the television. Channel 6, channel 9, channel 13, any channel but none of the trashy television shows put my mind off their constant tapping. I felt like I was a fish in a tiny aquarium, where the curious tapping of insolent children laid no end. The days passed and I devolved to the point where I constantly chatted to myself, aware of how insane I looked to others if there was anyone. I sang songs to avoid the quiet when the power shut off during blackouts. But I couldn't stop them, my voice got hoarse from using it a lot, my neighbors complained about the noise, I didn't want to but I had to stop blaring the music and the television. After that, I ended up using my headsets. 

My only method became my worst enemy, it made me feel lonely, trapped in a closed space in my mind. They got worse at night. They always do. I could see them lurk in the corner of my eyes and see them inch towards me. What the light couldn't touch they were there. They talked at night as well. They spoke in hushed tones, offering me to let go and to ascend to a higher plane of existence. They held the voices of my mother, who sung a lullaby to me every night. I heard my father, his deep voice strict but kind. They used the voices of the ones I loved to torment me. It hurts to hear their voices when I thought I could never hear them again. They were tempting me. Like sirens seducing sailors to drown and die. It made me want to rip my ears out and just scratch. scratch. scratch the voices out. 

They did this every waking day and evening night. They inched more and more and more. My hands were shaking, I didn't know if it was fear, anxiety, stress, or the cold but whatever it was it just made me shiver. Were they covered in blood or was it just my imagination? I don't know anymore. They seeped into my mind. Their cold shadows left dark bruises on my skin, their claws and sharp teeth tearing into my skin. They crawled all over me sinking themselves deep into my bones and I was too weak to do anything to stop them.

Finally, I had enough. My eyes were sunken and dry. My throat was scarred with welting lines and discolored all over my skin. I opened my window, ignoring the cold evening breeze and the eyes, oh the eyes. How they waited unblinking eyes peering into my soul. They peered into my soul and in that moment of complete and utter despair that I felt. I closed my eyes and I was flying all of my problems dissipating.