Light trigger warning: implications of emotional abuse and PTSD
Moving day: past Jude:
My boxes are mostly packed already but I feel like something is missing. I look around the room; the feeling nags at the back of my neck and I automatically reach up to soothe it. This only makes my neck feel hot and I cringe at the weight of his hand on my neck even when I know it's not there. I hope not everyone has to feel like this before moving into the dorms. I laugh at the thought though and continue sweeping the room with my eyes. College is a fresh start and a fresh me, no need for worry about his sway over me. My mom comes in and leans on the door way. She always looks unsure there like she should feel welcomed into the room by me but she doesn't. I acknowledge she's there but I don't turn. She must have heard me laugh because she asks me what's so funny. "Just thinking about all the memories in here". The lie comes so smoothly. It always does. It's butter on my tongue and just as easy to swallow. I know she doesn't really care because she doesn't ask me to allaborate and instead flits her gaze across all of the boxes. The silence of the moment is weighted. My smile gets me through it; all you have to do is pretend you're pinning your features back like hair fallen from a bun, it won't fall no matter what they say. Faith has been in her room all day, I know she doesn't like me moving even if it's just for college. She only helped me clean out the tiny nook we share in the house. Both of our things in there in equal measure. She uses the cover of not wanting me to take any of her things with me and she doesn't speak while we sort. But.. I don't either. Her room is the most isolated. It was definitely its own room while mine was considered part of the family room since I was.. told to keep it open almost always. Her room door always felt so jarring to me. I would go to greet her or share something with her and it would be closed in my face. I was older so I figured that she needed protecting, but she always seem to know how to close our parents out. I didn't blame her at least the sound was muted that way. I lifted the boxes with a sigh, heaving it into the living room. My dad gripped the base of my neck. "So it's finally that time..." he said, trailing of ominously. I shivered lightly. "Yeah". I clipped, shaking him off and pretending to inspect the tape on the box I set down.
My mom has vaporized as soon as he was in the room. I knew he would keep it in today in front of the movers and that she wouldn't help even if she was still there, but it was still nice to sometimes pretend she might. It was never far from his mind these days, but maybe after moving away he would realize her days as a protector were over the day she stopped sheilding him, not the day she might not be able to. It seemed like Faith has realized it to. Faith was smart though and had started wringing trips out of the house from mom instead. 'I'm so glad I'm moving. But what about Faith?' That's all that keep thinking. Will I really be leaving her behind? Have I already? My brain keeps putting it in front of me with no answer, like asking a child to learn to tie their shoes when all you give them is velcro.
And even though that's all I can think, I pick up a box and walk out door. Faith walks behind me balancing a box and her cell phone. This puts my body at ease, but my brain still screams at how fragily and temporarily I can keep her behind my protective profile.
Hi! First episode!
I’ve been planning this story forever and finally decided on just jumping in. While there is abuse in the story the main focus will be changing and character relationships so without further ado the summary:
Jude is moving away to college. Faced with his growing unease about leaving his sister with his parents. Will college provide him the opportunity to be himself? Does that matter in the face of his absence? He doesn’t know if Faith will miss him, but his fear overshadows his doubts about the distance between them. He moves with ice in his chest.
Two siblings Faith and Jude were close growing up, not so close after, and further still now. Neither knowing they’re one conversation away from reconciling and meshing their perspectives of the past. What exactly happened to each of them? Are they the same people now, or are they so estranged they don’t recognize why they ever grew apart?
Trigger warnings (if any) at the top of each episode. Every episode with a trigger warning/s will feature a summary in authors note about the episode so that you don’t have to miss out on the story line. <3