[Obnoxious saxophone intro music]

[Exterior: The outside of a happy snow-covered church]

[Merriam-Webster defines “exterior” as: Being on an outside surface: situated on the outside]

[Note from the studio: This is going to be a fucking disaster…]

[Note from the studio: Animation budget got slashed, roll with the storyboards…]

Hurry children! Hurry!

The choir has hummed the last noels! Get on your coats! Wrap your scarves tight round yer neck!

Hurry! Hurry!

Out the church doors! Down the church stairs! Across the church sidewalk!

Don’t you know what day it is? Why it’s December 23rd…

And December 23rd can only mean one thing…

That’s right! Father Percy Creed’s delectable dingers, zoo zads, and kissy kakes!!!

Follow the smell past the Ford F-150 with Direct Injection Fuel System, 10 Transmission Speeds, and 290 Horsepower. Yeah, this bitch, sure has legs all right, oh-ho-ho awwwwwwwwwwww yeah…those rims are c-l-e-a-n…the snow slides right off…I bet my milk would slide right off too-

-Oh yeah, oops. The Parish Center…

COME ON IN AND SEE WHAT FATHER PERCY’S COOKIN’!!!

[Camera pans uncomfortably close to the front door]

[Merriam-Webster defines “camera” as: A device that consists of a lightproof chamber with an aperture fitted with a lens and a shutter through which the image of an object is projected onto a surface for recording (as on a photosensitive film or an electronic sensor) or for translation into electrical impulses (as for television broadcast)]

[Camera leans down the right hallway]

[Interior: The inside of the happy snow-covered Parish Center, kitchen area]