I opened my journal as I stopped singing. The more I look into my journal, the more I want to cry. All I could tell to myself is, 'Madison Grace, suck it up. You are not a child. Xander is in your past. You don't have to recall the past.'
The past sucks. I don't wanna think about it. But I assure you, that I will tell you about it soon. Right now, you guys need to know about me. About my stupid, useless life. I'm 22 years old who was working in a company with more salary. But now, I'm jobless. My parents can't help me financially. I need to help them financially. That's why I came abroad to study and found a good job. But the company got closed. Now, I and my friend are jobless. Did I tell you about her? She's Sofia Maria. She's my best friend in my awful school days. She helped me with a lot of things ( including the problems I have faced with I fell in love with Xander). I and Sofia live in an apartment with a single room. Just a single big hall which contains a kitchen, bedroom. We are so pathetic. I never have any good memories to recall. Not even Xander.
Loving him is the biggest mistake. I don't blame him for hating me. It's the incident and persons who caused that situation. But it hurts that the boy I used to love, hates me. It's okay if he doesn't love me. But the hatred kills me. He's the smartest boy in the whole class. I met him in my ninth grade. At that time, I have been so eager to know about him. In a year, I was madly in love with him. It's defiently not because he's from a millionaire family.
I don't care how much money he got. All I care about is him. His character...the way he talks...the way he smiles...how he used to help everyone expect me ( there's a whole lot of reasons for it which is supposed to be hidden now). I got hypnotised by his hazel hair, ocean eyes, his perfect jawline.
I couldn't really know more about him. I never get to be his friend. But something in my heart is not letting him go even after all these years. I still believe I get to be with him. That he's my soulmate. Talking about soulmate seems stupid to some people. I have been the one who believed it all my life. In simple words, I still believe. I still believe that we are destined to be together no matter how impossible it seems.
" Close that stupid journal. All you wrote is about Xander. Xander. Xander. Is he worth it, Madison?" Sofia scolded me out of care for me.
" I'm sorry. I caught up in some bad memories. But I won't throw this. I know you are going to say that." I told her clutching my dairy tightly in case she made a move to tear the papers or throw the whole damn dairy.
" I know you won't do that. Why wasting my time? Just forgot it, Madison. It's been four years. Since you transferred to another school and worked in a company for two years. I don't know why you still can't forget him. He's out of your life."
The moment she said the last word, I frowned. Yeah, she's right. Iam wasting my time with an idiotic belief. I'm never gonna meet him again. Even if I did, he still hates me.
" Sorry, I shouldn't have said that. You are beautiful, Madison. You have a good heart. You deserve someone like you. You don't need to go behind someone who doesn't love you. I'm not being harsh. I just want to say that you deserve the best. " Sofia apologized.
" I wish you are right. I wish someone good happens in my life. Once in my life. I just found my old journal. That's why I got distracted by these feelings. This isn't the right time for this. We need to find another job. We are running out of money." I said, looking at our messy room. Nobody could live in our messy single room.
" Yeah, I was gonna talk about that. I already got a job for us. There's no need for an interview but I'm not sure whether you like that job." Sofia said with hesitation.
" You got a job? That's amazing. All we need a job. Which company?" I asked eagerly. But without an interview which company will give us a job?
" It's not a company. I got a waitress job in a cafe. That's the least I can do, Madison. Please don't say no to this. The owner just wants two waitresses. This job is better than doing nothing. What do you say? Our work starts tomorrow."
" What??? This is way too fast. I...I can't anything but accept this. Tell me about the salary and the cafe." I told her, deciding to accept it. I need to concentrate on what's important. Going behind my love for Xander isn't gonna do anything. The more I seek to love, it goes away from me. It's better if I let go. I need to let go of something that isn't for me. Am I right?
I got all the information I needed about the cafe. I started the day with a little smile on my face. " So, you two are the new waitress? Good. Wear this uniform and start serving the customer. I don't think I need to teach you how to serve?" The owner, a short guy in his thirties spoke.
" Nope. We will start working. Thank you for the job." Sofia said, taking the uniform to the dressing room. The uniform isn't that bad. A mixture of light orange and red. But it reminds me of the 'Two broke girls' series. Did I become poor in just a poor? Oh, god. I guess my life is falling apart. Nope, it already fell apart. I don't think it could be fixed.
For the rest of the day, I worked hard. The job wasn't difficult. But I feel like the salary isn't enough. And I wish I could find some job better than this.
" Is it time for us to leave? I'm too tired." I told Sofia while taking the menu to give to the new costumers.
" Umm, just half an hour. Bear with it, please. You got no other choice." Sofia pleaded. I need to adjust. Sofia was the one who got the job for both of us. We need to go this to live.
" Yeah, We got more days to work here. It's just the first day. I can do this." I told, bringing up a smile on my tired face. I walked up to a couple to give the menu. I asked what they want to eat. Suddenly, my heart started beating faster without a reason. I didn't saw the girl's face. But the boy turned towards me before he got the menu card from me. I recognized him. How could I not? He's...Xander. Xander who used to hate me. Who I used to love unconditionally. No, this should not happen. I decided to forget him. I don't want to see him again when he doesn't belong to me. He was never mine. And never will be. Then why the hell am I seeing him again? And then he spoke a single word.
Madison Grace...yeah, that's my name. If you are looking for some romance, then that's not my life. I used to love a boy so much that he equally used to hate me. It broke my heart to pieces and nobody could fix it. I couldn't forget him. Somehow my heart keeps on telling me that Xander's the one for me. But how is it possible? I don't believe it until I saw Xander again after some years of graduation.
He was with his girlfriend and he's a millionaire too. But something was different this time. One incident...just one incident....which changed my life completely. It proved that we are destined to be together and that's just how it is...