Welcome to the Great Abyss, brave visitor, I will be your guide. You can call me, Mr. Bee.
I am going to show you everything there is to see here in this Forgotten Grave, also known as the Underworld, Final Insult, Cave of the Liquid Fire, or my personal favorite “the Soul Grinder.” I believe you still just call it …“Hell...”
Boring, if you ask me.
Ok! So before we begin our tour let’s go over a few rules and warnings which, you may notice, have been clearly stated on the signs on your way down here.
Rule number one, stay clear of the damned. If you get within their grasp, they WILL cause you harm. Keep your hands close to your body and do not be tempted to offer them food or drink, no matter how much they plead. This brings us to…
Rule number two, please ignore the screams, shrieks, curses, blasphemes and pleas in the background unless otherwise advised. Also, be advised that you can and will be charged for any new slurs you may learn down here.
Rule number three, don’t be tempted to feel sorry for any of the damned souls. Remember there are no innocents down here, no mistrials or mistakes. They all deserve the punishment they got.
Rule number four. Do not talk to them. They don’t feel guilt. So please, refrain from saying things like “how could you do that” or “you disgusting animal!” They don’t care that you don’t approve of their life choices.
Rule number five. You may want to keep in mind that time down here does not work the way it works up there. What is being done now, or will be done in the future, has already been done. Time is not a line down here, it’s a circle. You will see what I mean.
Ok, so now that we have gone over the basics we can begin the tour.
Here is the entrance to the Underworld as you can probably tell from the big neon sign.
May I ask, brave visitor, what do you do in life? A writer? Ah yes, I could tell you’re a loner. We do get a lot of your kind down here. In fact, you just missed another writer, a fine young man, I found he had a promising career ahead of him. What was his name, though? Dan? No… Danny? No…Dante!
Yes, Dante Alighieri! Do you know him personally? Oh, it’s been that long in Earth years… Well, anyway, we have had tons of writers, poets, and painters, who took this very tour and were inspired to produce exquisite works. I trust, we have glowing reviews on tripadvisor? No? Those “&*%@@#”
Oops, excuse my foul language. Never mind what it means, and do not repeat that. We will definitely charge you for this one, and you wouldn’t want that this early in the tour.
Now,if you please step right through the revolving door and I will be with you on the other side.
***
Well, hello, again...
Sir? Sir? What’s wrong? Why did you drop on your knees? Oh, no. Not that again…Stop screaming. Please stop SCREAMING!
We didn’t even cross the bridge yet, and that’s pretty much the best part. It’s all downhill from there.
And here come the flames…
STOP FUCKING SCREAMING!!! Sir, there are pyres that would melt your eyes just by looking at them, so stop being a little bitch.
I am curious though, what have you done?!?!?! SHOW ME WHAT YOU SEE?!
Billy, yes, little Billy from 4th Grade. You tormented him! You tortured him insatiably, you loved every minute of it. You got drunk from his fear and it made you feel powerful. How does it feel now? His pain, burning the flesh off your bones? Hahahaha.
There were others you bullied, I can see that, but not as much as little Billy. Brilliant! He killed himself 7 years later!
Do you feel his pain? Do you feel his mother’s pain? You didn't expect that, did you?
Oooh, there is more! I feel like a little school girl… SHOW ME!
Ah, it’s a girl this time. A lonely girl, just like you, and you still don’t know her name. Actually before this moment, you had totally forgotten about that night in college.
I can’t believe you still think that she was asking for it, when you know she was passed out.
Look at these flames go! Oh, you have kept the best for last.
You killed a kid to get close to his mother?!
I won't lie, I am impressed! What kind of evil genius are you? You got away because the police can’t prove it, even though they know you did it.
He was only nineteen! “That hasn’t happened, " you scream. Rule number five: time is quirky down here. What will be done has been done and you, my friend, belong down here.
COME HERE!
Forgive me, visitor, for some deliberate forgetfulness about rule number six. Don’t take the tour to hell, if you belong in hell, or you might never make it back home.
Come, you will see all those pyres I told you about. They are as striking as they are maddening…
Stop fighting. I said stop fighting!
Why are you screaming for “help” though? We don’t “help “down here.
You know you have made me a great service today.
Do you know how much that bitch Charon charges for bringing me the souls of the damned?
He doesn’t even have to row boats anymore, not since we build the bridge…
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