INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - DAY
CRASH! A frickin' T-Rex BARRELS through the side of the hallway. Lockers crumple, a water pipe bursts, and students calmly go about their business, simply walking around the carnivorous disruption. The Rex roars at something off-screen before running off.
TETRA SILANE, 15, stands before the impact site, mouth agape and shaken out of her mind. She is alarmingly small and wiry for her age. Her skin is an unnatural ashen gray; her eyes are large, striking, buggy. She wears a pastel scarf and jacket. She moves with a floaty inclination, as if gravity had decided to go a little easier on her. She shoulders her backpack, glances at a paper in her hand, and surges on, visibly uncomfortable but trying her best to match the sleepy, nonchalant student body around her.
SBAF! A light flashes from within a locker. The door swings open, a raggedy student topples out, collapses, and passes out on the ground inches from Tetra's feet. She shrieks and tiptoes around the body. She locks eyes with the camera.
TETRA
Hi. My name is Tetra Silane and I'm supposed to find a Marley Benson?
MAN (O.S)
(unconvincingly)
...Marley?? Uh, who's that -
TETRA
Wait a sec.
She flips the camera around. It refocuses on a male student rapidly backing away.
MAN
Yeah, sorry, I don't think I can help you with that, sorry -
CUT TO:
A student with tentacles for arms and hair.
OCTOPOID STUDENT
Marley? Oh, she's the worst. Did Rosalie arrange for you to be paired up? No surprises there, she's mental.
CUT TO:
A dark-haired student with a schoolgirl aesthetic: pleated skirt, stockings, a ribbon tied under her collar.
SCHOOLGIRL
(scoffing)
Marley? She’s the worst. Downright criminal. Skips classes to build doomsday devices, didn’t you hear? Get used to taking orders from her because one day she’s gonna rule over all...
She trails off chuckling to herself. She’s oddly chuffed for some reason.
CUT TO:
A student in a plain grey polo and jeans that look legitimately (as opposed to fashionably) distressed. This is JOHN SMITH, 17, dark hair and eyes, average in every respect He has never even heard of the word ‘conspicuous’.
JOHN SMITH
Um, Marley? I heard she built a skybeam out of a hairdryer and a stick of gum. She's kind of the worst. Not my opinion though, just the opinions of everyone around here. I don’t really have opinions. On anything.
He casts his eyes to the ground. Tetra frowns.
JOHN SMITH
I'm John Smith by the way. If you can't find her, maybe I can show you around on my way to class?
EXT. SCHOOL GROUNDS - DAY
Tetra and John Smith walk between school buildings. Entire chunks of pavement are missing, a phantom horse gallops through the basketball court, and in the distance, part of the skyline appears to be on fire. John Smith gestures as he speaks.
JOHN SMITH
This is our arts and music building. Over there is the gym that doubles as a tornado shelter and is the only building on campus that’s shielded against unicorn magic and psychic attacks -
TETRA
Does that feature come in handy often?
JOHN SMITH
You get used to it.
TETRA
That doesn’t answer my question -
JOHN SMITH
That’s our mascot Wilbur the Christmas tree worm and that’s Kerrbhyth, the serpent that swallows buildings whole. He’s alright as long as you don’t throw rocks as him.
John Smith abruptly stops walking. Tetra shoots him a quizzical look.
JOHN SMITH
My class is here. Yours is halfway across campus in the opposite direction.
INT. CLASSROOM - DAY
PAVLOVA, 16, is the first to enter. She doesn't walk, she glides and pirouettes. Pavlova is a graceful ballerina decked out head to pointe toe in ribbons and tulle. She's made entirely of candy. Her skin has a marshmallow-like sheen and icing rains endlessly from the ruffles of her skirt. She polishes an apple and sets it on MS. DURHAM'S desk.
More students file in. You have your standard-issue nerds and preps and jocks, but also, a boy with no discernible face save for a faint, unsettling impression of a too-wide smile, and an oversized chipmunk wearing a tie and tennis shoes, among other oddballs. Ms. Durham peers down at them through her half-moon glasses. She is in her fifties and has the demeanor of a ticked-off bulldog.
MARLEY BENSON, 16, trudges in and swipes the apple off her teacher's desk. Pleated skirt, stockings, a ribbon tied under her collar, it's all very familiar. She has dark flowing hair and shifty eyes. Just as she reaches her seat three rows back:
MS. DURHAM
Marilyn.
Marley throws her feet up on her desk and takes a bite. She speaks with her mouth full.
MARLEY
What? I missed breakfast. Are you gonna let your students go hungry?
Ms. Durham sighs, laces her fingers together, speaks with understandable reluctance. It's as though she'd rather eat nails.
MS. DURHAM
Good morning, lovelies. Budget cuts have resulted in even shorter classes this semester, which means we're going to have to skip the part where we pretend to be interested in what each other did over the break.
Behind her, a small fairy boy raises a sign saying 'BOO'.
In a stunning display of unruly teenaged solidarity, the class remains tight-lipped.
MS. DURHAM
I, for one, was looking forward to telling all you lovelies how my peaceful my break was. Perfectly uneventful.
The class ERUPTS in dissenting cries. Some hop onto their desks. They can't believe it! An uneventful summer break?! Here, in this city?!
Ms. Durham flicks her wrist and the motion in the room ROLLS IN REVERSE complete with DIGITAL GLITCHING. Students collapse back in their seats. Marley sets her half-eaten apple down and crosses her arms.
MS. DURHAM
Settle down. Class is now in session. This semester we have a transfer student!
She beckons at the door and Tetra cautiously enters. She stands before the class, tiny and unnerved, all awkward angles.
From her point of view, she spots an OLD-TIMEY DETECTIVE snooping around the back of the class. His trench coat brushes against the floor. He chucks over unassigned desks and turns backpacks inside out, shaking notebooks and binders loose.
TETRA
You have a, uh -
MARLEY
Ignore him.
TETRA
But he's -
PAVLOVA MARLEY
Ignore him!
Pavlova and Marley glance at each other for a fleeting second then then look away in mutual disgust.
Tetra gulps and turns to the board. She scribbles her name down in big block letters but vertically. And with 'SILANE' to the right of 'TETRA'. Marley raises a brow and rests her chin in her hand. The chalk squeaks on the last 'E' and the class collectively cringes.
Tetra turns back. The Detective THROWS HIMSELF OUT THE WINDOW with a CRASH.
TETRA
He just -
WHOLE CLASS
IGNORE HIM!
PAVLOVA
Gosh, it's like you don't care about our education.
TETRA
No! ...Sorry?
Unprompted, she bows deeply.
TETRA
Please take good care of me.
Durham rolls her eyes.
MS. DURHAM
Find yourself a seat.
For the first time, the class is in full view: There's maybe 16 students and just as many empty desks. The back row stands empty, recently trashed by our good friend the detective.
Tetra picks her way three rows back and toward the windows. The light hits the desk just so, bathing the laminate surface in an angelic glow. The class holds their breath. Just as she’s about to sit down, she turns back and plants herself before Marley’s desk.
TETRA
Are you Marley Benson?
MARLEY
Who’s asking? Who's after me?
TETRA
Nobody! I just, uh, I thought you’d come get me and -
Marley takes a massive bite of apple and chews noisily. Tetra starts.
TETRA
I guess I wanted to say hi? -
Marley does the cronch.
TETRA
Maybe we could start over - (cronch) -on a better foot? - (cronch)
Tetra's shoulders are way up. She's undoubtedly uncomfortable but extends a hand anyway.
TETRA
Hi. My name is Tetra Silane. I look forward to getting to know you better as a friend.
Marley raises a brow and tosses the apple core over her shoulder. It bops the giant chipmunk in the row behind in the head. This is SEHKARD. He's unearthly adorable but not exactly amicable.
SEHKARD
Hey! Not a rat!
MARLEY
(without turning around)
All you rodents look the same to me.
Sehkard weeps a little as he knocks the apple core off his desk and into a pile of several dozen other apple cores at various stages of decomposition.
MARLEY
(to Tetra)
You're persistent. I can use that.
She keeps her arms firmly crossed, leaving Tetra hanging, but smiles just a little. Tetra obliviously smiles back.
MS. DURHAM
Seats!
Tetra plops down in the desk 3 rows back pressed up next to the windows. The class lets out a collective sigh. Some bury their face in their hands, some throw their arms heavenward as if appealing to one of the city's several thousand documented higher powers. Most just groan.
WHOLE CLASS
(hushed)
She took the Protagonist Seat!
PAVLOVA
Oh bother, she took the Protagonist Seat.
MARLEY
We have a protagonist! And I'm friends with her!
Tetra looks around frantically.
TETRA
What?! What'd I do -
CRASH. STUDENTS SCREAM. Durham calmly polishes her glasses and sighs as if reconsidering her every major life decision up to this point.
The back half of the class COLLAPSES and FALLS THROUGH THE FLOOR. People are on their feet now, dodging drywall and ceiling tiles.
The dust parts: the T-Rex throws a GIANT APE off its back. It roars and runs off. More screams erupt in the distance. The putty-faced boy pulls Sehkard up from where he'd been left dangling over the edge.
Tetra stands inches from the chasm. Jagged bits of concrete, exposed wire, and broken glass litter the floor. She's aghast at it all.
Marley throws an arm around her shoulder, cordial, though it rings hollow.
MARLEY
You made your choice when you decided to move here. This is what it means to live here. It'll probably be worse for you, seeing you're the protagonist and all.
TETRA
...How much worse?
Marley just chuckles. Tetra's eyes go wide. Then she squeezes them shut and rubs at them.
MARLEY
What's wrong? Insulation got in your eye?
TETRA
Yes! I mean, no! I mean -
MARLEY
Are you seriously tearing up on me right now?
TETRA
It's just so beautiful. It's everything I've dreamed of and more.
She laughs to herself. Marley blinks, she can hardly believe her ears. She leans on Tetra, who doesn't mind being an armrest one bit.
MARLEY
If you can say that with a smile, you already belong here. Welcome to Muttonchop.
CUT TO BLACK.
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