6-1-19

3:24 AM

I left at around 3:00. I had already packed the night before— I packed in secret. I brought a lot of my clothes, a lot of food (that won’t go bad, mostly cereal), a watch, a flashlight, and hygiene items if I’m ever able to use them. And, of course, I brought my journal and a lot of backup pens. And backup journals. No phone.

I almost didn’t leave. I almost stopped myself, realizing that what I was doing was stupid. I would be found and brought home. But that didn’t stop me from leaving. There was some kind of force in my mind drawing me outside of my house, outside of everyone else’s knowledge, and outside of my regular life and routine. As terrified as I am, I had to leave.

So that’s how the story starts.

Though, of what the story is about, I don’t know.

6-1-19

5:06 AM

I’m so tired already.

6-1-19

6:47 AM

I’ve been walking for a long time, but also taking long breaks. This is harder on me than I thought it would be. I apparently forgot that I wasn’t athletic.

And I’ve just realized that my parents have woken up to go to work by now. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know doing this would bring me so much pain. Why am I doing this? I have to stop thinking about that if I want to persist. I have to forget about everything else. I have to forget about my parents, my friends, and everything that I’m abandoning.

6-1-19

7:15?

Things are going just great so far. Or I wish they were. My watch is fast. It’s still dark and my watch says 7:15. I’ve used this watch all the time and I swear it’s been fine. I’m already so frustrated with the whole trip. I should go home. Just go home and act like nothing happened. Just getting in trouble would be better at this point.

So why can’t I just go home?

6-1-19

8:09 AM

I tested this watch over and over again, I’ve counted seconds the best I can, I’ve looked to every edge of the sky, I’ve estimated how long I’ve been walking, I’ve counted every second of every minute that goes by, I’ve come to the conclusion that I have indeed been walking for hours, and my watch is correct-- it is 8:09.

And I am certain that in the month of June, at 8:09 it should not be this dark.

I have been walking for hours in a forest that has trails, campgrounds, benches, and creeks all over it and have not seen a single thing but trees.

I don’t know what to think.

6-1-19

9:31 AM

I can’t go home now. There’s no turning back. I want to try, but I don’t know what direction I’m going.

A bit ago, I heard something behind me and ended up running for nearly 10 minutes. I’m just paranoid and lost now.

It’s only 9:00 and I’m already exhausted.

It’s started raining.

It’s so dark.

I swear it keeps getting darker and colder.

I wish I was dreaming, but I know I’m not.

I don’t know what’s happening. I can’t think of an explanation other than that I’ve completely lost my mind. There’s nothing. I’m completely alone. I feel like I’m being punished.

I want to die just so this confusion can end. Why am I writing anymore?

I’m in hell.

6-1-19

10:01 AM

I overreacted, there has to be an easy explanation for this but I’m just not thinking of it. I’m having a very realistic dream, probably.

But I don’t know how to wake up.

Why am I even out here? Why did I leave? I don’t remember why I’m out here.

I just don't know.

I don't know.