The whole world was black. I couldn't see anything except myself.

"I guess I'm dreaming," I said to myself. I walked around without direction. "What a strange dream."

Jay, a voice said. It was of a woman, and it had a sweet and soothing tone. I turned around but I couldn't see anyone.

I cupped my hands and yelled, "Hello?" I heard my voice echo. "Am I in a cave?" For some reason, my thoughts were expressed as dialogues, as if I was talking to someone and not thinking something.

Are you ready? Her voice was faint, as if she was very far away. The voice felt extremely familiar yet, at the same time, very unfamiliar. I couldn't figure who this voice belonged to. I ran in the direction of the voice. After several minutes, I saw a strange figure, and then it disappeared.

"Wait!" I called out. Then, the figure appeared out of nowhere, standing several feet away from me. I couldn't make out her face.

"Who are you?" I asked. She laughed. I think you are ready now, Jay, she said. It's time for you to wake up.

"What do you mean?" You'll soon find out. The figure disappeared once again. The world around became less dark and started to take shape.

"Wait! Don't go! Who are you?" I yelled, but it was too late. The darkness faded away, and a blurry room replaced it instead. The room was filled with a delicate scent. I recognized the scent. It was the scent I always smelled near her, Aisha.

"Aisha." I heard myself mumble. I heard a gasp and the gradual increase in the sound of scurrying footsteps.

"He's awake!" I heard a woman exclaim, relief in her voice. This voice was different from the one before. Aisha, is that you? I was relieved to know that my thoughts stopped turning into dialogues for everyone to hear. Was that truly a dream?

My vision cleared and I saw two figures standing over me.

"Mr. Kumar, do you know where you are?" one of them asked. I looked around. The room was filled with monitors and devices, and I was wearing strange clothes, with a tube stuck into my vein. An IV strip, I recognized. I looked at the figures. They were wearing purple scrubs and one of them was holding a clipboard.

"The hospital," I responded, frowning. Why am I here? The nurse on the right smiled. "This is great news!" It was the same voice which had exclaimed before. Her voice is too cheery, she isn't the voice from my dream. She turned to her fellow nurse. "Let's go inform the others." They left me alone to my solidarity, allowing me to rack my brain to try to remember how I ended up here. It was November 18th, Aisha's birthday. We had been dating for 5 years and I was going to surprise her, with a ring. I had brought white daffodils, her favorite.

"Jay!" She shouted across the road, waving and smiling at me, but something was wrong. Her smile was off. It looked strained and there was a certain look in her eyes that I couldn't seem to figure out. The door of the room opened, interrupting my thoughts, and a tall man in a suit entered the room. He had well-kept brown hair and wore glasses. He stood statically in the doorway, as if a barrier was prohibiting him from entering the room.

"Jay." His face was solemn, unlike his usual demeanor.

"Now why do you look like you're sad I'm alive? Your outfit looks like something you'd wear for my funeral," I said, pointing at his suit and the daffodils in his hand, hoping to crack his face into a smile. The corners of his mouth slightly lifted.

"Sorry. I couldn't find the bright neon suit you had gotten me for my birthday." I knew he made a joke but for some reason it didn't feel like a joke. His voice wasn't as bright as it used to be. He came inside, playing with the daffodils in his hand. It felt like he was avoiding my gaze.

He sat in a chair beside my bed and replaced the flowers that were in the vase next to me.

"Do you remember how you ended here?" he asked hesitantly, his eyes fixed on the vase, his hands still fiddling with the flowers. He was refusing to look at me.

"I can't remember." I tried to make eye contact but he was adamant on staring at the flowers. What is wrong with him?

"You were in an accident," he said, his voice scared and quiet, as if he were anticipating something bad. My brain started to play vivid images. Flashing lights, the startled face of Aisha, her hair swaying as she ran towards me, the pain I felt as my body collided with the truck. That's right. I remember now. I thought I died. Except I didn't. I was still alive. And Aisha wasn't in the room, beside me.

"Where is Aisha?" Secretary Joe shifted his attention to the window, now staring at the flowers on the windowsill. They were also white daffodils. I wondered if Aisha put them there. I looked outside. It was snowing heavily. That's strange. It's a bit too early to snow so heavily. I looked back at Secretary Joe.

"Your father has been waiting for you to wake up," he said, avoiding my question. "He needs to talk to you." I stopped him from heading towards the door, gripping his arm, but he refused to turn around.

"I asked where is she." I said, sternly. He stood in silence. I let go of his arm, expecting him to leave without answering my question, but he remained there. I heard a shaky sigh.

"She's gone." What. He turned around, tears rolling down his cheek as he repeated what he said. She's gone. His voice echoed in my head.

"I don't understand. She was right there, I saw..." my voice trailed off. Secretary Joe held my hand gently, looking down at my fingers, still refusing to make eye contact. He took a deep breath.

"That was a month ago, Jay," he said, in a shaky voice. Tears fell upon my hand but Secretary Joe still did not meet my eyes.

"What?" I removed my hand from his grasp. I held the calendar on the table beside me and it read "December 20, 2022." The calendar slipped from my hands as I sat in disbelief. It was November 18. I remember distinctly. "What happened?" My voice started to get heavy.

"The accident happened a month ago. You were unconscious, and everything happened so quickly. We had to hold her funeral without you." He paused, taking a second to wipe his tears. "I'm sorry." That's not right. I remember the truck hitting me.

"Secretary Joe, what happened? Tell me everything," I demanded, gripping his shoulder. He finally looked up and met my eyes. He held my hands tightly, tears rolling down his cheek uncontrollably.

"She jumped in front of the truck and pushed you out of the way and the truck-" he paused, struggling to finish the sentence. "The truck hit her." He looked at me with extreme pain in his eyes. "Jay," he said, loosening his grip over my hands. I snatched my hands out of his grasp and turned towards the window. She jumped in front of the truck and pushed me. She jumped in front of the truck. She died. She died for me.

"I killed her," I heard myself say before I could stop myself. My eyes started to become blurry. I tried to focus on the daffodils on the windowsill.

"No, no don't say that. That's not true." Secretary Joe tried reaching for my hand again but I swatted it away.

"Get out," I said, sharply. I wanted to be alone. I knew I hurt his feelings but I didn't want to talk to him anymore. The air was too thick and I was afraid of breaking down in front of him. I could tell he understood the message. He got up, heading towards the door, but stopped once he got to the handle.

"Your father is waiting for you," he repeated, without turning to look at me.

"Get out!" I yelled, tears streaking my cheeks before I could stop them. I buried my face in my hands, creating a puddle of tears. I heard the door open quietly and his steps fading away.

"Why," I cried. "Why would you do that?" I looked back at the window. Now when I looked at them, the daffodils seemed to be out of place. They were too lively for the gloomy room and it hurt for me to look at them. I went towards the window and opened it, throwing the daffodils out of the room. Even though the window was open, the walls of the room felt like they were closing in on me and I found it difficult to breathe. A sharp pain pierced through my heart. I walked back to my bed, staggering, accidently knocking over a jar of water. It clashed the ground with a loud noise, breaking into extremely small pieces. I felt my heart burst into such pieces as well. I dropped to the floor, grasping my chest, wishing the pain would stop. My vision started to go cloudy and I felt myself falling.

"Mr. Gupta!" I heard a faint voice call, but it was too late. I fell into a void of darkness, wandering aimlessly, like I was before.