She has her lips on me and pushes me against the wall, taking my clothes off with each movement. Her breath is heavy, she has goosebumps all over.

“Goosebumps…?” Weird.

She pulls herself closer and I can feel her sweat on my body. She grabs me and starts kissing my neck. It feels really good, but…something’s off.

She swings me around and pushes me onto the bed and starts going down on me. She’s moaning and breathing so hard right now, anyone in my position would be exhilarated by the events going on. Yet even though I feel good, something about this whole experience doesn’t. She’s so sexy, but I just can’t bring myself to keep going.

“Hey…”

She moans.

“Hey.”

No response. She’s satisfied and comes up to look at me. She looks like she wants to eat me alive. I put a hand up before she can lunge at me,

“I’m sorry. I don’t think I can do this anymore, I’m just not feeling it right now.”

She stares at me in disbelief, as if though all the work she’s done has been for nothing.

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?”

“I’m sorry, really.” A lie.

“UGH, just go.”

I put my clothes back on and leave, having just broken yet another relationship. Why is it that my relationships don’t work out? What the hell is so wrong with me that I can’t even take a beautiful girl going down on me? It’s so hard to pinpoint where this all comes from and I can’t take it anymore. I should know what I want, I’m in my twenties and yet I still have trouble dealing with myself. I’m such a mess…